One man’s theology is another man’s belly laugh.

Sex, whatever else it is, is an athletic skill. The more you practice, the more you can, the more you want to, the more you enjoy it, the less it tires you.

The instinct to survive is human nature itself, and every aspect of our personalities derives from it. Anything that conflicts with the survival instinct acts sooner or later to eliminate the individual and thereby fails...

Progress is made by lazy men looking for easier ways to do things.

You have attributed conditions to villainy that simply result from stupidity.

Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor.

Don’t handicap your children by making their lives easy.

I know where I came from—but where did all you zombies come from?I felt a headache coming on, but a headache powder is one thing I do not take. I did once—and you all went...

The slickest way in the world to lie is to tell the right amount of truth at the right time-and then shut up.

If God existed (a question concerning which Jubal maintained a meticulous intellectual neutrality) and if He desired to be worshiped (a proposition which Jubal found inherently improbable but conceivably possible in the dim light of...

TANSTAAFL: There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch.

Belief gets in the way of learning.

In the twentieth century, nowhere on Earth was sex so vigorously suppressed as in America—and nowhere else was there such a deep interest in it.

It seems to me that any law that is not enforced and can’t be enforced weakens all other laws.

Churches thrive on martyrdom and persecution.

Sex should be friendly. Otherwise stick to mechanical toys; it’s more sanitary.

It’s not enough to be able to lie with a straight face; anybody with enough gall to raise on a busted flush can do that. The first way to lie artistically is to tell the...

어처구니가 없군요. 배보다 큰 것은 존재하지 않아요.

Stupidity cannot be cured. Stupidity is the only universal capital crime; the sentence is death. There is no appeal, and execution is carried out automatically and without pity.

Anybody can look at a pretty girl and see a pretty girl. An artist can look at a pretty girl and see the old woman she will become. A better artist can look at an...

If we can use an H-bomb–and as you said it’s no checker game; it’s real, it’s war and nobody is fooling around–isn’t it sort of ridiculous to go crawling around in the weeds, throwing knives...

Consider the black widow spider. It’s a timid little beastie, useful and, for my taste, the prettiest of the arachnids, with its shiny, patent-leather finish and its red hourglass trademark. But the poor thing has...

The way to find justice is to deal fairly with other people and not worry about how they deal with you.

Take sides! Always take sides! You will sometimes be wrong – but the man who refuses to take sides must always be wrong.

That God is in truth the sort of bloodthirsty paranoid Who would rend to bits forty-two children for the crime of sassing one of his priests. Don’t ask me about the Front Office’s policies; I...

I was there to see beautiful naked women. So was everybody else. It’s a common failing.

Supernatural” is a null word.

How is a sincere criminal, trying hard, going to get ahead in his profession if his victim fails to cooperate?

Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.

No matter what I said they insisted on thinking of God as something outside themselves. Something that yearns to take every indolent moron to His breast and comfort him. The notion that the effort has...

Geniuses and supergeniuses always make their own rules about sex as on everything else; they do not accept the monkey customs of their lessers.

English is capable of defining sentiments that the human nervous system is quite incapable of experiencing.

Were you born stupid, Heinrich, or did you have to study?

He was delighted to recognize his own human name on two of the papers; he always got an odd thrill out of reading it, as if he were two places at once.

Some people insist that ‘mediocre’ is better than ‘best.’ They delight in clipping wings because they themselves can’t fly. They despise brains because they have none.

Every time we killed a thousand Bugs at a cost of one M.I. it was a net victory for the Bugs. We were learning, expensively, just how efficient a total communism can be when used...

Ben, why should anybody want that much power?””Why does a moth fly toward light?

Our behavior is different. How often have you seen a headline like this?–TWO DIE ATTEMPTING RESCUE OF DROWNING CHILD. If a man gets lost in the mountains, hundreds will search and often two or three...

As for logic and internal consistency, these mundane rules do not apply to sacred writings and never have…

If God meant for people to fly, He would have given them brains.

Anne is God. I am God. The happy grass are God, Jill groks in beauty always. Jill is God. All shaping and making and creating together.

There is no conclusive evidence of life after death, but there is no evidence of any sort against it. Soon enough you will know, so why fret about it?

I’ve been kissed by men who did a very good job. But they don’t give kissing their whole attention. They can’t. No matter how hard they try parts of their minds are on something else....

But, do you know, once you get used to it’s rather cute. I mean, if a girl looks alright to start with, she still looks alright with her head smooth.

Come Judgment Day, we may find that Mumbo Jumbo the God of the Congo was the Big Boss all along.

I don’t see why human people make such a heavy trip out of sex. It isn’t anything complex, it is simply the best thing in life, even better than food.

Sick cultures show a complex of symptoms such as you have named…but a dying culture invariably exhibits personal rudeness. Bad manners. Lack of consideration for others in minor matters. A loss of politeness, of gentle...

Theology is never any help; it is searching in a dark cellar at midnight for a black cat that isn’t there. Theologians can persuade themselves of anything.

I’m so busy doing what I must do that I don’t have time for what I ought to do… and I never get a chance to do what I want to do!- Son, that’s universal....