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Kurt Vonnegut  Quotes
God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Kindness
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No wonder kids grow up crazy. A cat’s cradle is nothing but a bunch of X’s between somebody’s hands, and little kids look and look and look at all those X’s . . .””And?””No damn...

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Humor
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As for myself: I had come to the conclusion that there was nothing sacred about myself or any human being, that we were all machines, doomed to collide and collide and collide. For want of...

—Kurt Vonnegut

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DeathHumanLife
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All these people talk so eloquently about getting back to good old-fashioned values. Well, as an old poop I can remember back to when we had those old-fashioned values, and I say let’s get back...

—Kurt Vonnegut

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CensorshipEducationFree-Speech
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Many years ago I was so innocent I still considered it possible that we could become the humane and reasonable America so many members of my generation used to dream of. We dreamed of such...

—Kurt Vonnegut

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HumorPolitics
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What is my definition of jazz? ‘Safe sex of the highest order.

—Kurt Vonnegut

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DefinitionHigh-OrderJazz
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He had had no experience in asking for a job with a big organization, and Mr. Dilling was making him aware of what a fine art it was–if you couldn’t run a machine. A duel...

—Kurt Vonnegut

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FictionShort-Story
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We’re really awful animals. I mean, that dumb Barbra Streisand song, ‘People who need people are the luckiest people in the world’ – she’s talking about cannibals. Lot’s to eat.

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Humorous
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Whenever my children complain about the planet to me, I say ‘Shut up, I just got here myself’.

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Environmental-DegradationParenting
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How to Write with Style”. Essay, 1985)

—Kurt Vonnegut

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IrelandStyleWriter
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It’s a small world.” . . . “When you put it in a cemetery it is.

—Kurt Vonnegut

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CatCat-SCradle
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Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile.

—Kurt Vonnegut

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DoubtTerrifyingVile
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The humanoids told Don that if he went home with a whore, she would cook him a meal of petroleum and coal products at fancy prices. And then, while he ate them, she would talk...

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Metaphor
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Call me Jonah. My parents did, or nearly did. They called me John.

—Kurt Vonnegut

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American AuthorParents
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I told him that if we doubted that we are demons in Hell, he should read The Mysterious Stranger, which Mark Twain wrote in 1898, long before the First World War (1914-1918). In the title...

—Kurt Vonnegut

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You’ll forget it when you’re dead, and so will I. When I’m dead, I’m going to forget everything–and I advise you to do the same.

—Kurt Vonnegut

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DeathForgetLife
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If you want to really hurt you parents, and you don’t have the nerve to be gay, the least you can do is go into the arts. I’m not kidding. The arts are not a...

—Kurt Vonnegut

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ArtArts-And-HumanitiesCreative-Process
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And here, according to Trout, was the reason human beings could not reject ideas because they were bad: “Ideas on Earth were badges of friendship or enmity. Their content did not matter. Friends agreed with...

—Kurt Vonnegut

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FriendshipIdeasThinking
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What I had to say to you, moreover, would not take long, to wit: Practice any art, music, singing, dancing, acting, drawing, painting, sculpting, poetry, fiction, essays, reportage, no matter how well or badly, not...

—Kurt Vonnegut

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CreativityLife-LessonsLife-Philosophy
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The row was actually about everything in creation, but it had for its subject of the moment the boy’s mustache.

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Family
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Jonah-John-if I had been a Sam, I would have been a Jonah still-not because I have been unlucky for others, but because somebody or something has compelled me to be certain places, at certain times,...

—Kurt Vonnegut

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ClassicsLiteratureScience-Fiction
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Rosewater was twice as smart as Billy, but he and Billy were dealing with similar crises in similar ways. They had both found life meaningless, partly because of what they had seen in war. Rosewater,...

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Science-FictionWar
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That’s what is was to be young — to be enthusiastic rather than envious about the good work other people could do.

—Kurt Vonnegut

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AgeEnthusiasmEnvy
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I identified a basic mistake my parents had made about life: They thought that it would be very wrong if anybody ever laughed at them.

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Mistakes
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Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you’ve got a hundred years here. There’s only one rule...

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Fact
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One might be led to suspect that there were all sorts of things going on in the Universe which he or she did not thoroughly understand.

—Kurt Vonnegut

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ExistentialismHumorSarcastic-Humor
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Vietnam was an exercise in mistaken idealism; Iraq in cynical money-making. And there’s no optimism or idealism now — Americans are tired of knowledge. Our leaders, the C-students from Yale, know this. We’re proud of...

—Kurt Vonnegut

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not to believe my government.

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Government
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What war has always been is a puberty ceremony. It’s a very rough one, but you went away a boy and came back a man, maybe with an eye missing or whatever but godammit you...

—Kurt Vonnegut

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War
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Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning do to do afterward.

—Kurt Vonnegut

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FrustrationHumorLaughter
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The planet was being destroyed by manufacturing processes, and what was being manufactured was lousy, by and large.

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Breakfast-Of-ChampionsDestructionEarth
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I’m simply interested in what is going to happen next. I don’t think I can control my life or my writing. Every other writer I know feels he is steering himself, and I don’t have...

—Kurt Vonnegut

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ControlInsightLife
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The nicest veterans in Schenectady, I thought, the kindest and funniest ones, the ones who hated war the most, were the ones who’d really fought.

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Kurt-VonnegutSlaughterhouse-FiveWar
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There was no question about it- the girl in the photograph was staggeringly beautiful. She was Miss Canal Zone, a runner-up in the Miss Universe Contest — and in fact far more beautiful than the...

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Beauty
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To the guards who walked up and down outside, each car became a single organism which ate and drank and excreted through its ventilators. It talked or sometimes yelled through its ventilators, too. In went...

—Kurt Vonnegut

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HumanityWorld-War-Ii
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The mind reels.

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Cat's-CradleKurt-VonnegutMind
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The New York Daily News suggested that my biggest war crime was not killing myself like a gentleman. Presumably Hitler was a gentleman.

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Adolf-HitlerSuicide
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…Jesus was only twelve years old. Jesus was learning the carpentry trade from his father.Two Roman soldiers came into the shop with a mechanical drawing on papyrus of a device they wanted built by sunrise...

—Kurt Vonnegut

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IronyTime-TravelWar
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Five German soldiers and a police dog on a leash were looking down into the bed of the creek. The soldiers’ blue eyes were filled with a bleary civilian curiosity as to why one American...

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Kurt-VonnegutSlaughterhouse-FiveSoldiers
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Things stayed peaceful in there, even as the crashing vehicles and the cries of the injured and dying reached a crescendo outside. “I fry mine in butter!” indeed.

—Kurt Vonnegut

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AbsurdityDeathHumor
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We are all what we pretend to be, but, we had better be very careful what we pretend.

—Kurt Vonnegut

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THE WINNERS ARE AT WAR WITH THE LOSERS, AND THE FIX IS ON. THE PROSPECTS FOR PEACE ARE AWFUL.

—Kurt Vonnegut

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All persons, living and dead, are purely coincidental.

—Kurt Vonnegut

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HumorParaphrased
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The most important thing I learnt on Tralfamadore was that when a person dies he only appears to die. He is still very much alive in the past, so it is very silly for people...

—Kurt Vonnegut

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DeathPerceptionTime
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I realize that some of you may have come in hopes of hearing tips on how tobecome a professional writer. I say to you, “If you really want to hurt yourparents, and you don’t have...

—Kurt Vonnegut

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ArtsEducationHurt
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There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don’t know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

—Kurt Vonnegut

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HumorPolitics
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Like all real heroes, Charley had a fatal flaw. He refused to believe that he had gonorrhea, whereas the truth was that he did.

—Kurt Vonnegut

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HumorSex
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Somebody will beat both [contents and price] sooner or later because that is good old Free Enterprise, where the consumer benefits from battles between jolly green giants.

—Kurt Vonnegut

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FictionShort-Stories
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Time passed quickly. Constant did not move.

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Humorous
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So, in the interests of survival, they trained themselves to be agreeing machines instead of thinking machines. All their minds had to do was to discover what other people were thinking, and then they thought...

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Breakfast-Of-ChampionsGirlsKurt-Vonnegut
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