Alone is just another word for love.

I just got a world record. It has music from Europe, Asia, North America, all over the globe. Michael Phelps also has a world record, but you can’t dance to it like you can mine....

He had had much experience of physicians, and said ‘the only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d druther not’.

Hey, everyone, it’s Cheeky Galore!

The Man With A Green Apple For A Nose.” This is not a joke.

Some people seem quite destitute a sense of humour.

If a shred of integrity fell into your soul, it would die a very lonely death.

I had been to school most all the time, and could spell, and read, and write just a little, and could say the multiplication table up to six times seven is thirty-five, and I don’t...

Story Content Warning: There will be angst, sex, a little rough language and rampant lesbianism. If this is not your cup of tea, don’t drink it. If you are not old enough to read this,...

Love sounds like a trumpet mimicking a trombone. That’s one of my hobbies, when I’m not impersonating statues of mimes.

There’s a 95% chance I’ll miss out on 5%.

Time is money, and honey.

Nous esperons que notre grand-père vivra encore longtemps.

We need to talk. All of us About what we’re going to do now.””I was going to watch Project Runway.

We can get you a throne with snakes. I’ll stand next to you and roar at anybody who fails to grovel. Fear Kate Daniels. She is a mighty and terrible ruler. Grendel can anoint the...

A clone would make a great birthday gift, because it’s the only gift that keeps on giving. At least it’d better give me a birthday present every year. It owes its life to me.

Love is a bird’s nest of emotion that I used as a basket to store picnic items like apples, cheese, wine, and finger foods like thumbs and pinkies.

Mermon’s tiny black dot eyes managed to widen into larger black dots. “No, no, no, Sir. I was just… curious.” “Curiosity is a good thing, like onion soup. But too much onion soup makes you...

We worked side by side building our sandwiches. Mine, just a few modest layers of meat and cheese, with a bit of lettuce for some added crunchiness; his, a Dagwood, piled high with turkey, ham,...

People often attribute their successes to skill, and their failures to unfortunate circumstances. It’s like if I win it’s because I’m good, and if I lose it’s because I’m unlucky. With every victory, I amplify...

I had a dream about you. You were hungry, so I made you a binocular sandwich, which is peeping power between two slices of bread. You were a hungry pervert, so I thought it perfect.

Some men want to go out with a bang. Personally, I’d rather not die from sex. I mean, what will my wife think when the police tell her?

I closed my eyes and resigned myself to the fact that my boyfriend was a pervert. He was lucky he was so cute.

You can sit on a brick, and milk a cow with a blanket.

Henry turned as if to dart out of the room, then swung around and stared at them, a look of confusion passing over his freckled face, as if he had only now had cause to...

I don’t understand humans.” Caradoc shook his head. “It takes their brightest minds decades to plan an unmanned voyage to the nearest planet, which can take a year to travel each way. Yet they expect...

I had a dream about you. You sold canned laughter, and I sold fresh laughter, straight out of my throat. You sold more of it, but nobody really liked your product. Plus, the people who...

My shoes are scuffed and dirty from dancing. The grave of my enemy is where I go to find my inner Astaire.

Don’t sell yourself short—sell yourself medium, because it’s taller. Did you know my love is refillable? For just .99 cents.

A brick is……… Well it’s a bloody brick what more do you want from me?

No. Absolutely not.”Simon,’ she said. ‘It’s a perfectly fine plan.”The plan where you follow Jace and Sebastian off to some unknown dimensional pocket and we use these rings to communicate so those of us over...

I ought to be jealous of the tower. She is more famous than I am.

I had a dream about you. I was a consumer, and you were a consumed. My grocery list had 10 items on it. Items 1-9 were cat food, and the 10th item was condoms. But...

Is he dead? -Gosh I hope so, because I went to a lot of trouble to dig his grave.

I’m wearing my End of the Dance Underwear. They’re soggy. It seems these days everything is saturated with my love for you.

You may stay. But Jessica, please watch what you say and do. Don’t look them in the eyes for long. Speak only when spoken to. Yes, sir; yes, ma’am.””Sit up. Arf,” I teased.”What about her?”...

Fire wants to burn Water wants to flow Air wants to rise Earth wants to bindChaos wants to devourCal wants to live

The earth has lots of love to give, if you just know where to dig. My advice is start in the cemetery.

I am illiterate. Just not in English.

I can feel my cheeks through your cheesecake buttocks.

Rich mahogany wood was used to construct the bookshelves, and the floor is also hardwood of the same deep tone. Copper trim was used to accent the wood, and the only place to sit is...

Whenever I get that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.

I’m not a Christian, but I have read his book.

A blanket could be used to deliver the darkness on a platter of light. But I’d eat my unborn children straight out of your uterus with a straw before I’d ever be a delivery guy...

I had an unconventional birth. I popped out of a vending machine, precisely like books don’t. But you shouldn’t read too much into it.

I stand six feet back when meeting new people. And before they can step to me and extend their arm for a handshake, I drop down like I’m doing pushups, and extend my right hand....

I don’t like ice in my whiskey. I like bullets. Why? Because for every ice cube I don’t use, an Eskimo gets to keep one square inch of his igloo. So I’m saving twice the...

Principal Principal: Where’s your late pass, mister?Errant Student: I’m on my way to get one now. PP: But you can’t be in the hall without a pass. ES: I know, I’m so upset. That’s why...

New Rule: Stop leaving couches on the sidewalk. Besides being lazy and ugly, it’s animal cruelty. You teach your dog not to pee on the couch, and then when you take him to the place...

A brick could be used as a marketing tool. I’ll help you grow your business, if you help me plant this brick in the ground.