He’s all right. His hair is cute.”Jonas froze, his lobster fork halfway to his mouth. ” Oh my God, you’re in love.””I’m not in love.””‘his hair is cute’? You never say anything nice about anyone....

Fredrika Bimm, what do you think you’re doing?””Freaking out. Losing my mind. Thinking about snapping your husband’s spine. Squashing the urge to vomit. Wishing I had died at childbirth.””Oh, you say that when you don’t...

You may stay. But Jessica, please watch what you say and do. Don’t look them in the eyes for long. Speak only when spoken to. Yes, sir; yes, ma’am.””Sit up. Arf,” I teased.”What about her?”...

I know it’s practical for career women, but sneakers with suits? Jesus couldn’t possibly weep harder than I did.

A grumpy vampire is a homicidal vampire. Hungry ones were even worse.

Leave it to a vampire to think a healthy guy in his late thirties or early forties was on his deathbed.

Yeah, well, it’s been a super fun week. And by ‘super fun’ I mean ‘horrible and endless’.

What can I say? Death is messy. And she had it coming.

She couldn’t tell where his pupils ended and the irises began; looking into those eyes was like looking into a well where children had drowned.

How’s your grandpa?””Still worried that your blackness will infect me.””That’s the plan. First you, then all the other blondes, and then on to brunettes and redheads. Once we have the womenfolk, all the babies will...

You don’t scare me, Cadence Jones. I’ve lived with crazy, I’ve ridden with crazy, I’ve vacationed with crazy, I’ve visited crazy in various hospitals, I’ve sat in on therapy sessions with crazy. Frankly, I think...

A gold cage is still a cage.-King David IOh, go cry in a bag of money.-Queen Christina

I walked in on my folks doing it doggy style less than four hours ago.””Waitress!” Jonas screamed, clicking his fingers madly. “Bring two!” then, more quietly,”You want a neck massage? A bedtime story? A bullet...