Every little action of the common day makes or unmakes character.

Jack shall have Jill.Nought shall go ill.

Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.

He who laughs last laughs … doesn’t get it.

Frame everything and some of it will become art.

If you change who you are to suit other people, you may end up dressed for the wrong occasion

I moved out of my head office and went out of my mind.

[S]ince you are angry at me without reason, you attack me harshly with, “Oh outrageous presumption! Oh excessively foolish pride! Oh opinion uttered too quickly and thoughtlessly by the mouth of a woman! A woman...

It’s an easy guess, why some get famous over night and not during the day.

She was widely read enough to appreciate my literary wit but not so widely read that she knew my sources. I like that in a woman.

Camille, you have a son, and your wife is very well, and is asking you to be at home, right now.

A funny person is funny only for so long, but a wit can sit down and go on being spellbinding forever. One is not meant to laugh. One stays quiet and marvels. Spontaneously witty talk...

You can con God and get away with it, Granny said, if you do so with charm and wit. If you live your life with imagination and verve, God will play along just to see...

Did you just say youThink Mansfield Park is boring? Get out of my house.

He had a reputation in society as a man with a lively wit, whose gaiety was pleasant and formidable – which all gaiety must be in a society which would despise you if, while amusing...

It was like orderin a hamburger and getting only the buns”(After Brooke White of season 7 on american idol sang the song ‘Hero’by Mariah Carey)

Reason leavened with a little wit (if possible) is the real alternative to hate speech, meaning that there’s no better time for it.

Nancy was a writer with a lot of soul. That’s something that most critics either don’t have the opportunity to share with you or just can’t. She had the kind of humanity that is embracing....

WIT, n. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.

I believe I can actually agree with that, though I suspect for different reasons than you imply.

That’s a very murky position,” objected Felix.”So’s the weather. But this is England, we must learn to live with uncertainty.

He drew a circle that shut me out-Heretic , rebel, a thing to flout.But love and I had the wit to win:We drew a circle and took him In !From the poem ” Outwitted

Yes, well, I’m not asking you to hide anything. Hiding won’t help you. You can’t very well hide from a pit, can you? You just need to avoid falling into it.” – Brohan Madhrarigal

Never rely upon a time machine to fix your problems, as everyone knows, they’re much too faulty.

I’m eating a massive pastrami sandwich. It’s so beautiful I might cry. Just so you know.

Recollection is the only paradise from which we cannot be turned out.

It is the curse of the competent―not to be called upon.

Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.

No sensible man ever engages, unprepared, in a fencing match of words with a woman.

Majority wins, but majority is not necessarily right and sometimes majority is awfully wrong.

If water was beer I’d be a teetotaler

On some days you get what you want, and on others, you get what you need.

You have a ready wit. Tell me when it’s ready.

Just bring your wits. Sometimes that’s the most effective weapon any of us has.

To have a viable civilization, people have to have a benign government, a semblance of education, spare time, imagination, and manners

He had had much experience of physicians, and said ‘the only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d druther not’.

Charisma is the ability to influence without logic.

I leaned against the desk, ran my hand over my father’s paperwork, and picked up a pen. Turning around, I shoved it into my father’s hand. “What’s this?” he asked, raising a brow. “You’ll need...

How I define patriotism, a knife, a riffle and some hand-gernades.

Today I am amused, and I haven’t seen anyone yet.

you ask too many questions,” snapped Cletus.I kept my gaze on Roman. “that’s because I get too few answers.

I’ve been so thoroughly incorporated into the California culture that I practice meditation and go to a therapist, even though I always set a trap: during my meditation I invent stories to keep from being...

I did not know that mankind were suffering for want of gold. I have seen a little of it. I know that it is very malleable, but not so malleable as wit. A grain of...

[I]f you seek in every way to minimise my firm beliefs by your anti-feminist attacks, please recall that a small dagger or knife point can pierce a great, bulging sack and that a small fly...

Caro: “Bite me.”Ruby: “I gave that up in kindergarten.

Rebecca was an academic star. Her new book was on the phenomenon of word casings, a term she’d invented for words that no longer had meaning outside quotation marks. English was full of these empty...

One of the strongest natural proofs of the folly of hereditary right in kings, is, that nature disapproves it, otherwise, she would not so frequently turn it into ridicule by giving mankind an ass for...

Wit penetrates; humor envelops. Wit is a function of verbal intelligence; humor is imagination operating on good nature.

Brevity is the soul of wit.

You can tell a really wonderful quote by the fact that it’s attributed to a whole raft of wits.