Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and to have her nonsense respected.

She had a perfect smile. She doesn’t anymore, but I do. I have that perfect smile mounted on my wall like a pair of antlers.

I network like a salmon in a bear costume. Why swim upstream when the honeybee has all the flowers? Is anything more romantic than roses on a grave?

I am Vigalig the Destroyer. Except during the day, and then I am Gigalig the Giggler.

I can’t charge you 99 cents for a book called 99 Cents For Some Nonsense, because that would make sense. However, I have to charge you 99 cents, because it makes sense not to. So...

I’m up for the Julius Caesar Author of the Year Award this year. I’m tremendously proud, considering Caesar is the guy who burned down the Library of Alexandria.

Meow.

That doesn’t sound very attractive,” laughed Anne. “I like people to have a little nonsense about them.

Take life seriously but none of the people in it.

If you say that you’d never hurt anybody,you’re lack of emphaty and full of bullshit.

A writer need not devour a whole sheep in order to know what mutton tastes like, but he must at least eat a chop. Unless he gets his facts right, his imagination will lead him...

Said by Colin the dragon:”It’s somewhat bizarre to learn that many of you (humans)think that other humans are somehow different enough to be hated and killed, when in reality you’re all all tiresomely similiar in...

I’m covered in fish hair! I have a dwarf shaped like a suitcase that I carry everywhere. Women tell me I love too deeply. Wrong! I love too widely.

You could empty the trash and my love for you still wouldn’t fit inside. But just because it won’t fit, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t empty the trash.

The Bronze Age was such a third-place era.

In a recent Gallup poll conducted in France while riding a horse, two out of three sweaty Frenchman (there were only three people surveyed) stated that my armpits are the greatest thing since Louis XVI....

Does a man of sense run after every silly tale of hobgoblins or fairies, and canvass particularly the evidence? I never knew anyone, that examined and deliberated about nonsense who did not believe it before...

A half a hole is still a whole hole. Let that be a lesson in love.

I want to write. I’ve already told my mother: That’s what I want to do-write. No answer the first time. Then she asks, Write what? I say, Books, novels. […] She’s against it, it’s not...

Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction.

Every day, strive to refine your contagious shine, and shake the nonsense offered by those who lack the will to polish-up from within.

there’s no clarity.there was never meant to be clarity.

I’ve got hair in my mouth, because I replaced my teeth with my cat. This makes it more fun to pet my gums.

It’s raining and my clothes are all wet. They are so drinkable! So is my love for you, but I left that in the river, along with the umbrella.

You know what I can’t stand?” Stand. I’ll sell rants in small, medium, and large.

I am the Sisters of Mercy. All three of them. Triplets.

Eleven out of ten people surveyed said they appreciate nonsense.

I make love in my bathtub, because there’s only room for one person.

I steal cracker packets. I hoard them. Once my collection is large enough, I’ll take them to the flea market and try to sell them to discerning lovers.

Nothing is a masterpiece – a real masterpiece – till it’s about two hundred years old. A picture is like a tree or a church, you’ve got to let it grow into a masterpiece. Same...

Beauty should be edible, or not at all.

One man’s nonsense is another man’s sense.

I took a bunch of pictures. You can see ’em on my MySpace page, along with my favorite songs and movies and things that other people have created but that I use to express my...

Even if there are instances in which it can be mistook by onlookers, never fool yourself into using misunderstood genius as an excuse to be a fool.

The rooftop of the mouth is where the chest must sing love songs.

Dear Mary Duende, It’s freezing here in the trenches, but loneliness is colder than any hyperthermia. Gunshots and shrapnel have become my companions. But life is better now than it was when I was at...

I’m so lowbrow that I don’t want to grow a unibrow, but I do want to grow a unicycle on my forehead.

he said.

I am the minister in The Ministry of Scarcity, but I’m not ordained because they were out of the paper they use to print the certificates on. Still, the title alone carries some weight (2.2...

But Noodynaady’s actual ingrate tootle is of come into the garner mauve and thy nice are stores of morning and buy me a bunch of iodines.

Don’t for heaven’s sake, be afraid of talking nonsense! But you must pay attention to your nonsense.

To recognize bullshit, nose is better than ear.

The safe and cultural method of eating crackers in bed is to wear a diver’s suit instead of pajamas.

Love is a winding mountainous road. Do you have an extra unicycle and handlebar mustache I can borrow?

My fur coat doesn’t need to be dry cleaned, because it’s self-cleaning. It’s constantly licking its fur to keep itself clean. Beats walking through a car wash, like I used to do when I worked...

Every night I cuddle with a blob of unbaked clay I fashioned in the shape of a woman. But that’s what being in love is all about.

I’m the Robert the Bruce of Bruces. I’m also the Robert the Bruce of Roberts.

I cut holes in all my shirts under my armpits. Not only is it easier to apply deodorant, but chicks dig it.

My cat stood still like a furry statue. I wanted to go pet it, but I ended up petting a painting instead. Ah, but that’s life, no?

If you want walking dolphins and talking sandwiches, you’re lucky to have me buying shoes for you—and selling them to you. I’ll give you the best price (for myself), because business is better when love...