Love is like 9.75 plus .25. That’s 10, for all of you people trying to add fractions on your fingers. I can only count using eight, because I’m too busy using my middle fingers to...

Spain is 4/5ths pain and 1/5th S. I drank that fifth, and I loved S.

Women, if I understood them half as well as I understand fractions, I’d have said a third. But I don’t have time for a third, or even my other half, because I spend all my...

You pay by the hour, even if the job only takes five minutes. I don’t do fractions.

There’s a 95% chance I’ll miss out on 5%.

I’m with the Homework Police. Recruitment is up 20% since kids stopped learning about fractions.