You have no tail!” said Brightspot. her own whipped suddenly forward; she stared, first at it, then at Wilson.”How do you manage?

What are you doing?” “Ya!” said Jane, whirling around, her hands held up menacingly. It was Mr. Nobley with coat, hat, and cane, watching her with wide eyes. Jane took several quick (but oh so...

People can only grow, stagnate, or regress. Which one are you doing? I’m both growing and stagnating, because I’m learning every day, so I’m growing, but since learning has become a habit and I do...

You see? I know where every single book used to be in the library.’ She pointed to the shelf opposite. ‘Over there was Catch-22, which was a hugely popular fishing book and one of a...

moo” into a glass of water, hoping to change the structure of each water molecule into the shape of a cow. I felt like drinking a steak.

If there is anyone here whom I have not insulted, I beg his pardon.

Isabelle drifted over, Jace a pace behind her. She was wearing a long black dress with boots and an even longer cutaway coat of soft green velvet, the color of moss. “I can’t believe you...

I’m in a squad where I’d rather shoot the C.O than the enemy.- Cooper HawkesKnock it off. -T,C. McQueenYou know what I’m saying, Sir. I mean I never felt like shooting you. -Cooper HawkesStop it,...

Children in the abstract, had never appealed to me. They seemed to be loud creatures, often dripping some form of goo.

I showed my concern by showing her my penis. Was that not appropriate behavior at a funeral? What better way to display a lifetime of love that’s been zipped away from the eyes of world?

Humanism is my Religion, Good is my adoption , Bad is my Elimination, Acceptance is my Decision, Love is My Gift , Relation is my Affection ,Truth is My Strength, Help Is My Credit ,...

I was naked, except for two shower caps on my feet. Gotta save water somehow.

Claude rubs the back of his neck and wrinkles his nose, about to tell me he was never sad. I believe this is called bravado and is not limited to lawyers, or even men, although...

Jace perched on the windowsill and looked down at him. “You really don’t get this bodyguard thing, do you?””I didn’t even think you liked me all that much,” said Simon. “Is this one of those...

Face it,” Gary told her kindly. “You’ll never catch up. You just do as much as you can and take the punishments without saying anything. Sometimes I wonder if that isn’t what they’re really trying...

To begin perfect happiness at the respective ages of twenty-six and eighteen, is to do pretty well; and professing myself moreover convinced, that the General’s unjust interference, so far from being really injurious to their...

We were restless for ages…After a while I heard an owl hooting and calmed myself by thinking of it flying over the dark fields – and then I remembered it would be pouncing on mice....

We made love like Mondays on the moon at noon. I was her Neil Armstrong, and she was my midnight.

It’s important to have your private enjoyments because sometimes that’s all we have.

But, why? You punished me, okay? You’ve forbidden me to,” I shudder, “cum when you know my little body can only take so much of holding it in. I have a nine-inch dick, Randy. That...

I have nightmares about hell, where all I do is add up numbers and try to have conversations with people like you.

CASSIO: Dost thou hear, my honest friend?CLOWN: No, I hear not your honest friend, I hear you.CASSIO: Prithee, keep up thy quillets.

I had a dream about you. Aside from you, The Carpenter was also there. I was a cross between a hammer and a nail, and I was looking for a way to build myself up....

I went to Bath and Body Works this morning, because I really needed a shower. Hygiene is important to society, I have discovered.

I asked for a small drink, but he didn’t ask me what cup size. What, will a small not fit in a large?

Shebna scraped the tablet clean and began drawing circles in the soft clay. “Suppose you had six figs and you ate two. How many would–“”Four.” Hezekiah answered before Shebna finished, and the tutor’s thick black...

We?” Simon looked at him in disbelief. “Are you ever going home?””What, bored with my company already?” “Let me ask you something,” Simon said. “Do you find me fascinating to be around?””What was that?” Jace...

Id me didn’t have to be concerned with long-term consequences. He was my instinctive, primitive self, driven by my most primal impulses. I wondered, briefly, if ‘id’ and ‘idiot’ came from the same root.

Chocolate is God’s apology for brocolli

I am a man of action, like a statue of a guy running. In business, when a salesman and a customer race each other, both win.

Je me rends parfaitement compte du desagreable effet que produit sur la majorite de l’humanité, tout ce qui se rapporte, même au plus faible dègré, á des calculs ou raisonnements mathematiques.I am well aware of...

The party was dry, she was wet, and the sky was in the middle (cloudy, but no rain). Love was in the air, and that’s why I brought an umbrella.

Todos los esfuerzos–que no son pocos–hechos por el gobierno, en materia educativa, se diluyen en el mar de porquería de los medios de comunicación monopolizados por la iniciativa privada.

The cord pulled taut and she rebounded, flying back up before falling again. As her velocity slowed, she opened her eyes and found herself dangling at the end of the cord, about five feet above...

Women never bought Freud’s idea of penis envy: who would want a shotgun when you can have an automatic?

We were all so young that there were no lines on our faces to read between.

Love is a lot like bowling, I thought as I drove by a boarded up and abandoned bowling alley. Like the economy, I’ve made a full recovery since we broke up.

You don’t need to windup the wind to keep it going. It’s the same with my erection. All you need is two AA batteries and one I love you.

The best way to get America back to work, and reduce our deficit, is hire all the photographers in the country, position them on street corners, and have them take pictures of all the license...

When they figure out how to bottle up orgasms and sell them as a food additive, I’ll be first in line.

Last week, I suggested the candidates take up mushrooms. I’ll be damned if Rick Perry didn’t take me up on that.

Pietrisycamollaviadelrechiotemexity.

Cheers to 1812.” He lifted his empty bottle.The whole room whooped and raised their full glasses, howling in unison.I could barely hear over the sound of my own laughter.

I was the kid next door’s imaginary friend.

I am not into nudity on camera, but I would love to wear a banana peel over my penis and eat cat food from a little saucer while you snap off a few pictures of...

My favorite flower is the tulip. I’m crazy like Holland about them. I’ll even pay as much as $1,637 for one.

Most creatures run when they sense danger. People grab a six-pack and a folding chair.

All girls are like fishes needing feeding and a net. Trap them lest you are trapped.

Reply when questioned on the safety of the polio vaccine he developed:It is safe, and you can’t get safer than safe.

To call yourself an author takes publishing one book. To call yourself an inspirational author is the work of a lifetime that requires being constantly kicked in the stomach, only to get back up on...