You don’t need batteries for an introduction. Buy my Networking in a Box today and see for yourself. (Handshakes sold separately.)

I wrote an edible cookbook. The pages are made out of tortillas. It’s also the Book of Love. (Batteries and hot sauce sold separately.)

For your birthday I got you some batteries. They’re dead, just like you’ll soon be.

The sun would be better than a flashlight, except it doesn’t work at night. It probably needs to recharge its batteries from running all day.

My flashlight’s not working. I don’t know if the batteries are dead, but my mother-in-law sure as hell isn’t. When she dies, my love can live.

Electricity,” Purva said, rolling the strange new word around in her mouth, giving it at once an Australian and a French inflection.”Sir William was playing around with it when we met, do you remember?” Jack...

I am somewhat exhausted; I wonder how a battery feels when it pours electricity into a non-conductor?

It’s called the Infinity Effect.

I’m an all-the-water-I-can-drink-in-a-flower-vase kind of lover. Roses and batteries sold separately.

You don’t need to windup the wind to keep it going. It’s the same with my erection. All you need is two AA batteries and one I love you.