Employees go to school for 12 – 18 years merely to impress prospect employers in a 12 – 18 minutes interview.

12% of dreams create jobs. 88% of jobs destroy dreams.

You can see the people who thought they could come to London, bend over and pick gold off the streets. They’re all lying on benches in Trafalgar Square with hernias and cans of Special Brew.

I am afraid that the pleasantness of an employment does not always evince its propriety.

Huge biceps are an unattractive-uneducated-underpaid man’s last attempt to be seen as worthy of dating, or, sleeping with.

A model’s opinion seldom matters. The only time that he is required to open his mouth is when he is required to smile at the camera.

The difference between a retiring man and a used condom is that the condom isn’t given a golden watch to inspire the illusion that it still matters to whomever that has just used it.

I wore a long white dress shirt and no pants, so it looked like a white dress. I felt like a bride in love. Well, at least until my boss fired me.

I had ceased to be a writer of tolerably poor tales and essays, and had become a tolerably good Surveyor of the Customs. That was all. But, nevertheless, it is any thing but agreeable to...

Civilization is the commercialization of survival.

A salary is a tax employers pay, every four weeks, for putting an employee’s dream on hold.

It is not that we have so little time but that we lose so much. … The life we receive is not short but we make it so; we are not ill provided but use...

The actual growth in a person’s life is the rise in his wisdom and not the raise in his pay or income.

The problem is that the media rarely discusses the real reasons behind why women leave their jobs. We hear a lot about the desire to be closer to the children, the love of crafting and...

A major reason many Americans still struggle to find meaningful work is because they are using tactics from the 1990s and early 2000s. The future for employment is now here…and it’s online.”~February 21, 2013 as...

The employed are punished by having to do what they do not love. The self-employed are punished by the opposite.

If being seen as worthy of employing is the best that school does for the schooled, then school is overrated.

A good server knows how to be seen, yet remain invisible. I was a great server, and I achieved invisibility by never showing up for work. My boss ended up firing me, probably over petty...

The pleasantness of an employment does not always evince its propriety.

An educated woman is seen as a human being with a vagina. An uneducated woman is seen as a vagina with a human being.

The more civilized people are, the more honorable working hard is to them. As a result, the more civilized we get, the less we live.

A promotion is an illusionary solution out of an indebted employee’s pit of debt.

Oh, look, there are jobs available in Jacksonville! Today there are two jobs for me and 1.2 million other people in this city to choose from. I can either go into the advertising industry by...

…I doubt very seriously whether anyone will hire me.’What do you mean, babe? You a fine boy with a good education.’Employers sense in me a denial of their values.’ He rolled over onto his back....

Poor people do not go on holiday; they go home.

If heaven really exists: then heaven is the job, hell is unemployment, while life is merely an interview.

He didn’t care if I hated him, only that I did as I was told.

I´ve given you my time. Its all I´ve got to give – its all any man has. And for a pitiful buck and a quarter an hour.

recession.” No matter how many millions of jobs are lost, how much debt our country accrues, or how many years the stagnation drags on, it’s not a depression until the dogmatic media officially declares it...

Drilling without thinking has of course been Republican party policy since May 2008. With gas prices soaring to unprecedented heights, that’s when the conservative leader Newt Gingrich unveiled the slogan ‘Drill Here, Drill Now, Pay...

The garden is an unemployed township-based man’s cubicle.

Education inspires the educated to think for themselves. Schooled programs the schooled to work for others.

If I get famous, I’d seek employment in a wax museum—as a candle. If you fire me, make sure you blow me out before singing Happy Birthday.

Even with my deepest soul I knew too well that all of these were just a stairs to heaven.

Starving whilst schooled is like a man’s finding out that his wife is on her periods … a few seconds after he took Viagra.

Somebody is born. Somebody goes to school. Somebody learns to conform. Somebody types a CV. Somebody gets a job. Somebody follows orders. Somebody gets a golden watch. And then, eventually, Somebody dies. And, a Nobody...

Working overtime is an underpaid man’s salvation.

The best way to get America back to work, and reduce our deficit, is hire all the photographers in the country, position them on street corners, and have them take pictures of all the license...

Apparently I lack some particular perversion which today’s employer is seeking.

A diploma is a piece of paper that is used to acquire another piece of paper: an employment contract.

To be enslaved then, you needed to be ignorant. To be enslaved today, you need to be knowledgeable.

We need to make sure that joblessness never pays more than employment.

The market seems to have been greatly relieved by the employment report.

Employment: I’ll trade my time and labor for your money. So time is not money, because money is time plus labor. I spend my time saving money, I spend my money saving time, and I...

They are here on some sort of employment exchange program. The four folks who have been implicated in this incident, it is my understanding that they are being very cooperative and forthcoming.

12% of employees eat because they are hungry. 88% of employees eat because it is 1 o’clock.

School programs the schooled to type a CV. Life inspires the unschooled to type a business plan.

Realizing that many you once thought the world of are nothing but glorified assholes means you’ve grown up. 

A man who will steal for me will steal from me.” Theodore Roosevelt, dismissing on the spot one of his best cowhands who was about to claim for his boss an unmarked animal.

Prostitutes are paid for taking their clothes off. Celebrities are paid for putting others’ clothes on.