Last week, I suggested the candidates take up mushrooms. I’ll be damned if Rick Perry didn’t take me up on that.

New Rule: Since Glenn Beck is clearly onto us, liberals must launch our plan for socialist domination immediately. Listen closely, comrades, I’ve received word from General Soros and our partners in the UN–Operation Streisand is...

Fake it. We know you can do that. We’ve seen your sex tape.

That’s not water. That’s socialism juice. We should bomb Lake Erie.