Nobody can be bad at everything. There’s no such thing as a perfect screwup.

The man once wrote: Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger. Tolkien had that one mostly right.I stepped forward, let the door bang closed, and snarled,...

If you go to your death rather than do everything you might to prevent what is happening, you are merely committing suicide and trying to make yourself feel better about it. That is the act...

But… all I said was that I was scared.” After what you got to experience? That’s smart, kid,” I said. “I’m scared, too. Every time something like this happens, it scares me. But being strong...

No one is an unjust villain in his own mind. Even – perhaps even especially – those who are the worst of us. Some of the cruelest tyrants in history were motivated by noble ideals,...

Laughter is good for you. Nine out of ten stand-up comedians recommend laughter in the face of intense stupidity.

Lea stood upon a fallen log ahead of us, staring ahead. Mouse walked up to her.Gggrrrr rawf arrrgggrrrrarrrr,” I said.Mouse gave me an impatient glance, and somehow–I don’t know if it was something in his...

You couldn’t spot a pop culture reference if it skittered up and implanted an embryo down your esophagus.

I died. I died and someone made a clerical error and I am in Heaven.

Son. Everyone dies alone. That’s what it is. It’s a door. It’s one person wide. When you go through it, you do it alone. But it doesn’t mean you’ve got to be alone before you...

…The next time I opened my eyes, I was in the morgue.This, all by itself, is enough to really ruin your day.I was lying on the examining table, and Butters, complete with his surgical gown...

I don’t know about your true form, but the weight of your ego sure is pushing the crust of the earth toward the breaking point.

If I was on the road to Hell, at least I was going in style.

They don’t make morgues with windows. In fact, if the geography allows for it, they hardly ever make morgues above the ground. I guess it’s partly because it must be eisier to refrigerate a bunch...

Anger is just anger. It isn’t good. It isn’t bad. It just is. What you do with it is what matters. It’s like anything else. You can use it to build or to destroy. You...

Technically,’ I said, “I’m not breaking any of the Laws of Magic. I’m not robbing you of your will, so I’m clear of the Fourth Law. And you didn’t get loose, so I’m clear of...

See? This is why I’m not religious. I couldn’t possibly keep my mouth shut long enough to get along with everyone else.

Murphy watched me thoughtfully for several empty seconds. Then she said, very gently, “You’re a good man, Harry.”I swallowed and bowed my head, made humble by the tone of her voice and the expression on...

The wacky thing about those bad guys is that you can’t count on them to be obvious. They forget to wax their mustaches and goatees, leave their horns at home, send their black hats to...

Ack!” I said.Fearless master of the witty dialogue, that’s me.

Pain is a byproduct of life. That’s the truth. Life sometimes sucks. That’s true for everyone. But if you don’t face the pain and the suck, you don’t ever get the other things either. Laughter....

You need to know where to go,’ Sanya said.’Yes,”And you are going to consult four large pizzas for guidance.”Yes,’ I said….’There is, I think, humour here which does not translate well from English into sanity.”That’s...

Just remember that you’re on my list, Marcone. Soon as I get done with all the other evils in this town, you won’t be the lesser of them anymore.”Marcone stared at me with half-lidded eyes...

In the action business, when you don’t want to say you ran like a mouse, you call it ‘taking cover.’ It’s more heroic.

But I don’t understand God. I don’t understand how he could see the way people treat one another, and not chalk up the whole human race as a bad idea.

Jobs are a part of life. Maybe you’ve heard of the concept. It’s called work? See, what happens is that you suffer through doing annoying and humiliating things until you get paid not enough money....

Magic. It can get a guy killed.

I have nightmares about hell, where all I do is add up numbers and try to have conversations with people like you.

Maybe you know the monsters, Martin,” Murphy said quietly. “But I know the guy who stops them. And if they don’t return the girl, we’ll make them regret it.” She nodded at me and said,...

Bring it, Darth Bathrobe!

So. You get handed a holy sword by an archangel, told to go fight the forces of evil, and you somehow remain an atheist. Is that what you’re saying?

Many things are not as they seem: The worst things in life never are.

Right,’ Thomas said. ‘Where are we headed?”To where they treat me like royalty,’ I said.’We’re going to Burger King?’I rubbed the heel of my hand against my forehead and spelled fratricide in a subvocal mutter,...

if you’re going to be in an orgy, the middle is the best spot, isn’t it.

Put some clothes on, you weird, yellow-eyed, table-dancing, werewolf-training, cryptic, stare-me-right-in-the-eyes-and-don’t-even-blink wench.

Hope is a force of nature. Don’t let anyone tell you different.

When people say the word “convention,” they are usually referring to large gatherings of the employees of companies and corporations who attend a mass assembly, usually in a big hotel somewhere, for the purpose of...

The last time I was at a supernatural shindig, I got poisoned and then everything there tried to kill me. So I burned the whole place to the ground.

Love is another kind of power, which shouldn’t surprise you. Magic comes from emotions, among other things. And when two people are together, in that intimacy, when they really, selflessly love each other it changes...

Don’t call me a dinosaur. It isn’t fair to the dinosaurs. What did a dinosaur ever do to you?

I choose my battles, Dresden. Not you.” She looked up at me calmly. “Let me put this in terms that will get through your skull: My friend is going to save a child from monsters....

Might as well go for broke, put on a black top hat and pipe in some organ music.

I’ve had a tense couple of days. And I’ve got to tell you, burning someone’s face off sounds like a great way to relax.

There are things you can’t walk away from. Not if you want to live with yourself afterward.

My laboratory,’ I said, experimentally, drawing out each syllable. ‘Why is it that saying it like that always makes me want to follow it with ‘mwoo-hah-hah-hahhhhh’? ”You were overexposed to Hammer Films as a child?’...

You predicted quick victory. Now it’s going to get hopelessly complicated. Jesus, don’t you know any better than that by now?

Hell’s bells, irony blows.

Magic comes from the heart, from your feelings, your deepest expressions of desire. That’s why black magic is so easy—it comes from lust, from fear and anger, from things that are easy to feed and...

Like I said, magic comes from life, and especially from emotions. They’re a source of the same intangible energy that everyone can feel when an autumn moon rises and fills you with a sudden sense...

There are a lot of people he’s taught. Trained. Defended. And he’s been an example. No single one of us can ever be what he was. But together, maybe we can.