Life is but a story told at one’s funeral

I never saw a dollar bill cry at anyone’s funeral.

So, my sweet, did it put the fun into funeral?

People who make great impact are well remembered due to the empty seats that remain after their death. It takes time to fill the empty seats that are left unoccupied by people who walked great...

Grief turns out to be a place none of us know until we reach it…We might expect that we will be prostrate, inconsolable, crazy with loss. We do not expect to be literally crazy, cool...

I think she might at least have waited till the funeral was over,’ said Amanda in a scandalized voice.’It’s her own funeral, you know,’ said Sir Lulworth; ‘it’s a nice point in etiquette how far...

Funerals, Coffins, and Death. It’s not just a way of life; it’s also for breakfast. Yes, that is the new cereal I’m preparing to launch. Don’t mix it with milk. Pour it on formaldehyde.

Here’s the other thing I think about. It makes little sense to try to control what happens to your remains when you are no longer around to reap the joys or benefits of that control....

Eu escrevo um caixão de gravetos, uma toca de terra; papiro para untar meus restos mortais. Eu escrevo uma salva de saudade, um funeral de flores; epitáfio para demarcar onde a vida morre em paz....

And a funeral, I found out, is like a wedding in reverse, with less time to plan.

I’m not even going to be able to attend the burial. Humans get upset when vampires burst into flames right next to them.

Delay is not a help-mate. The cemetary is full of people who thought they could DO IT tomorrow. Do It Now!

It was a haunting tune, unresigned, a cry of heartache for all in the world that fell apart. As ash rose black against the brilliant sky, Fire’s fiddle cried out for the dead, and for...

Funerals seem less about comforting the souls of these dearly departed than aboutcomforting the people they leave behind.

A Parting GuestWhat delightful hosts are they—Life and Love!Lingeringly I turn away,This late hour, yet glad enoughThey have not withheld from meTheir high hospitality.So, with face lit with delightAnd all gratitude, I stayYet to press...

A funeral is no place for secrets.

For 3 million you could give everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we could dig a hole so deep we could hand her over to Satan in person (on Margaret Thatcher)

Funerals aren’t for the dead. They’re for the living.

Whether you lay cold in the ground or warm in an urn the turmoils of life aren’t a concern. For some this may be the perfect rhyme except for those you leave behind…

For the funeral I needed a plus one, so I rented a hooker. And then I rented a movie. Rest in peace Grandpa, or whoever you were.

O Earth, lie heavily upon her eyes;Seal her sweet eyes weary of watching Earth;Lie close around her; leave no room for mirthWith its harsh laughter, nor for sound of sighs.She hath no questions, she hath...

The VoyagerWe are all lonely voyagers sailing on life’s ebb tide,To a far off place were all stripling warriors have died,Sometime at eve when the tide is low,The voices call us back to the rippling...

I won’t clap when you die. I mean I would cheer, but applause would be inappropriate at your funeral, an event I’d miss because I’ll be celebrating.

Be aware of this truth that the people on this earth could be joyous, if only they would live rationally and if they would contribute mutually to each others’ welfare.This world is not a vale...

Oh, Caddy,” said Saffron miserably.”I know. It’s awful. But I’m going. We all should.””It will be so sad.””You have to be sad sometimes,” said Caddy. “Whatever Dad says. He may be right. Granddad probably had...

I showed my concern by showing her my penis. Was that not appropriate behavior at a funeral? What better way to display a lifetime of love that’s been zipped away from the eyes of world?

Royal summoned mourners. They came from the village, from the neighboring hills and, wailing like dogs at midnight, laid siege to the house. Old women beat their heads against the walls, moaning men prostrated themselves:...

I think eulogies are wasted on the dead. It’s the living who need to hear kind words spoken about them.

I could not escape a feeling that this was my own funeral, and you do not cry in that case.

One of the hardest things you will ever have to go through is the death of a child. The second hardest thing you will ever have to go through is having a child die at...

Not that there seems to be any appropriate place to bury someone, but these municipal cemeteries, or any cemetery at all for that matter, like the ones by the highway, or the ones in the...

My funeral,” the Blue Man said. “Look at the mourners. Some did not even know me well, yet they came. Why? Did you ever wonder? Why people gather when others die? Why people feel they...

In the emptiness that was all around me, I noticed an old tennis ball in the plantings; I picked it up and dropped it at Zoë’s feet. I didn’t know what I was doing, if...

Western funerals: black hearses, and black horses, and fast-fading flowers. Why should black be the colour of death? Why not the colours of a sunset?

My ghost is the only soul who ever comes to cry on my grave… Only the skies cried sincerely on my funeral.

Live life so well that, even if you die, the empty seats behind you will tell the story that, ‘Yea, this soul did what God sent him/her to do’. Give life and hope into your...

You can’t choreograph death, but you can choreograph your funeral.

His face looked almost as gray as his suit, and the pouches beneath his eyes looked like little bags for holding all the sadness that his head couldn’t hold.

Today, a couple with ‘just married’ tags collided head-on with a hearse carrying two coffins in the back, both of a married couple that had previouslydied in a car accident.

I never heard back from her after our first date, so either she’s dead, or she rejected me. I wonder where her funeral was held.

Don’t cry for the dead, for the dead is deaf, dumb, blind, lame, unemotional and dead.

I sprained my knee. I was Elbowing at the time. Elbowing is a new dance I invented for those random moments of romance that break out at funerals.

I’m telling you, Augustus Waters talked so much that he’d interrupt you at his own funeral.

It’s a sad thing to see, because as far as I know, this man Gavo had done nothing to deserve being shot in the back of the head at his own funeral. Twice.

I remember I laughed so hard I cried. But my response was half appropriate, because I was at a funeral.

How could you go about choosing something that would hold the half of your heart you had to bury?

Top 10 Deathbed Regrets:1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life other people expected of me.2. I wish I took time to be with my children...

It’s important to attend funerals. It is important to view the body, they say, and to see it committed to earth or fire because unless you do that, the loved one dies for you again...

The size and height of the tree determines how heavily the ground will shake when it falls. The cassava tree falls and not even the pests in the forest are aware. The baobab tree falls...

I was dead, and I hadn’t even been able to attend my own funeral.