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Funeral  Quotes
Unless I’m dead, I’ll definitely be at your funeral. Just be sure to return the favor and show up at mine. Your death will be the death of me, and that is why you should...

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdDeathFuneral
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I always take photographs when I attend a funeral. Most people there know who I am and expect me to be there with my camera.

—Martin Parr

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CameraExpectFuneral
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Zhuangzi’s wife died. When Huizu went to convey his condolences, he found Zhuangzi sitting with his legs sprawled out, pounding on a tub and singing. “You lived with her, she brought up your children and...

—Zhuangzi

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ChangeDeathFuneral
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The bad news is the butcher’s dead. The good news is there’ll be no need for a funeral, and I’ve got enough meat to last for weeks.

—Jarod Kintz

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ButcherCannibalismDeath
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Another site of Leftist struggle [other than Detroit] that has parallels to New Orleans: Palestine. From the central role of displacement to the ways in which culture and community serve as tools of resistance, there...

—Jordan Flaherty

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CelebrationCivil-DisobedienceCommunity
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As they gently lowered it into the earth, all stared silently at the coffin but one: a young woman of twenty-five who glanced absentmindedly into the distance where an unknown figure stood – watching, waiting,...

—Renate Linnenkoper

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Fantasy-RomanceForebodingFuneral
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THE BARROW In this high field strewn with stones I walk by a green mound, Its edges sheared by the plough. Crumbs of animal bone Lie smashed and scattered round Under the clover leaves And...

—Anthony Thwaite

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ArchaeologyBurialDeath
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At first are moving tombs on the surface of the surface of the earth; then we become static tombs in the brims of the cemetary soil; waiting to become eternal people in fellowship for God....

—Israelmore Ayivor

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BurialCemetaryChrist
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I want words at my funeral. But I guess that means you need life in your life.

—Markus Zusak

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DeathFuneralLife
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I make love like I make coffins—with my bare hands, alone in my garage. On sale through Thursday—Buy One Funeral, Get A Second One Free!

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdCoffinDeath
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What actually happens when you die is that your brain stops working and your body rots, like Rabbit did when he died and we buried him in the earth at the bottom of the garden....

—Mark Haddon

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AfterlifeBodiesBurial
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Love is the funeral of hearts.

—Ville Valo

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FuneralHearts
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I cried at the funeral. It wasn’t because I loved her, it was because I was there, in the front pew at the church, chopping onions.

—Jarod Kintz

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ChurchCryCrying
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The endWhen I die bang on cansRomp around in leaps and boundsLet whips crack in the airCall in clowns and acrobats!I want my coffin to go on a donkeyDecked out in Andalusian styleYou can’t refuse...

—Mário de

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DeathFuneralJoy
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Anyway, they took her body to McBurney’s Funeral Home in Motley. They’ll be planting her tomorrow.

—Peter Hedges

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BurialDeathFuneral
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I am so sorry to hear of Asher’s passing. I will miss his scientific insight and advice, but even more his humor and stubborn integrity. I remember when one of his colleagues complained about Asher’s...

—Asher

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Asher-PeresAtheismAtheist
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I felt a Funeral, in my Brain,And Mourners to and froKept treading – treading – till it seemedThat Sense was breaking through – And when they all were seated,A Service, like a Drum – Kept...

—Emily Dickinson

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BrainDepressionElegy
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To hear how much of a great human being you were — even if you really weren’t — open your ears at your funeral.

—Mokokoma Mokhonoana

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ConformityDeathDeceased
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Except for my daughters, I have not grieved for any death as I have grieved for his. His was a great and beautiful spirit, he was a man – all man, from his crown to...

—his

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BeautifulBrotherhoodDeath
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He is but as the stubble of the field, and yet he has no beard.

—Marguerite Young

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DeathFuneralMan
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You’re real though, at least that’s something,” Alecto pointed out, holding his hand out in front of her. Smiling miserably, Mandy took his hand in her own and sat there beside him quietly.

—Unknown Author

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DarknessDeadDeath
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I wish to declare with all earnestness that I do not want any religious ceremonies performed for me after my death. I do not believe in such ceremonies, and to submit to them, even as...

—Jawaharlal Nehru

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AtheismBeliefDeath
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The more death, the more birth. People are entering, others are exiting. The cry of a baby, the mourning of others. When others cry, the other are laughing and making merry. The world is mingled...

—Michael Bassey Johnson

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BirthBurialCasket
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Christ has global funeral, every Sunday and since twenty centuries. (Jésus a des funérailles mondiales, – Tous les dimanches, et depuis vingt siècles.)

—Charles de Leusse

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ChristDimancheFunérailles
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Black funeral dress. Black heels. Black headband in my hair. Death has a style all it’s own. I’m glad I don’t have to wear it very often.

—Courtney C.

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DeathFuneralSad
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*Paying one’s last respects* is about the payer, not the paid. (Who attends the funeral — and who doesn’t — is the deceased’s last worry.)

—Mokokoma Mokhonoana

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DeathFriendshipsFuneral
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You cannot be responsible for some things that happen on earth. You may attempt to act, God alone will decide. Some things are mysteries!

—Israelmore Ayivor

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AttemptDecideEarth
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It was very sad under the trees. Although spring was well advanced, in the deep shade there was nothing but death-rotten leaves, gray and white fungi, and over everything a funeral hush.

—Nathanael West

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DealthFuneralNature
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Your coffin reached the monstrous hole. And a part of me went down into the muddy earth with you and lay down next to you and died with you.

—Rosamund Lupton

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DeathFuneralSadness
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I was crying on the inside, but on the outside, to the casual observer, and to the man who was dying, I was laughing. That man was my father, and I haven’t laughed that hard...

—Jarod Kintz

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CryingDeathFamily
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I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

—Mark Twain

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Classic-InsultFuneralFunny
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The Romans feared their dead. In fact, Roman funeral customs derived from a need to propitiate the sensibilities of the departed. The very word funus may be translated as dead body, funeral ceremony, or murder....

—Catharine Arnold

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DeadFuneralRoman
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The face of the dead man was concealed, of course, our customs not being those of the south, where corpses are carried to the grave in open coffins, that they might – one last time...

—Jan Neruda

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BurialCoffinCorpse
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*Live fast, die young, and, leave a good looking corpse.* is dumb. When dead, looks matters not. (Furthermore, the corpse will only look good for a day, or, twelve.)

—Mokokoma Mokhonoana

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CorpseDeathFuneral
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I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Latin. It seems only fitting to read a dead language at my funeral.

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdDead-LanguageDeath
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Graham Chapman, co-author of the “Parrot Sketch”, is no more. He has ceased to be. Bereft of life, he rests in peace. He’s kicked the bucket, hopped the twig, bit the dust, snuffed it, breathed...

—John Cleese

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DeathFuneralFuneral-Speech
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I remembered back to leo’s burial and holding your hand. I was eleven and you were six, your hand soft and small in mine. As the vicar said ‘in sure and certain hope of the...

—Rosamund Lupton

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DeathFuneralHope
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A guy I grew up with recently died. I attended his funeral, but only because I thought there’d be free food afterwards. I brought to-go boxes with me. You know, to remember him for as...

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdDeathFood
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My life will end someday, but it will end at my convenience.

—Michael Bassey Johnson

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BurialControlDeath
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Life is but a story told at one’s funeral

—Charles Slamowitz

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AwesomeCharlesCharles-Slamowitz
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I never saw a dollar bill cry at anyone’s funeral.

—J. Lincoln Fenn

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FuneralFuneralsHorror
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So, my sweet, did it put the fun into funeral?

—Johnny Rich

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FunFuneralFunerals
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People who make great impact are well remembered due to the empty seats that remain after their death. It takes time to fill the empty seats that are left unoccupied by people who walked great...

—Israelmore Ayivor

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AchieveAchieversDeath
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Grief turns out to be a place none of us know until we reach it…We might expect that we will be prostrate, inconsolable, crazy with loss. We do not expect to be literally crazy, cool...

—Joan Didion

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DeathFuneralGrief
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I think she might at least have waited till the funeral was over,’ said Amanda in a scandalized voice.’It’s her own funeral, you know,’ said Sir Lulworth; ‘it’s a nice point in etiquette how far...

—Saki

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DeathDeath-And-DyingFuneral
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Funerals, Coffins, and Death. It’s not just a way of life; it’s also for breakfast. Yes, that is the new cereal I’m preparing to launch. Don’t mix it with milk. Pour it on formaldehyde.

—Jarod Kintz

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BreakfastCerealCoffin
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Here’s the other thing I think about. It makes little sense to try to control what happens to your remains when you are no longer around to reap the joys or benefits of that control....

—Mary Roach

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DeathFuneral
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Eu escrevo um caixão de gravetos, uma toca de terra; papiro para untar meus restos mortais. Eu escrevo uma salva de saudade, um funeral de flores; epitáfio para demarcar onde a vida morre em paz....

—Filipe Russo

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AfligirAntropólogoCaixão
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And a funeral, I found out, is like a wedding in reverse, with less time to plan.

—J. Lincoln Fenn

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Death-And-DyingDeath-Of-A-Loved-OneFuneral
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I’m not even going to be able to attend the burial. Humans get upset when vampires burst into flames right next to them.

—Molly Harper

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FuneralHumorVampire
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