God gives us relatives; thank God, we can choose our friends.

Really, for all the poetry in the world on the subject, when you get right down to it, it’s mostly just boom! penis vagina.

A company with no advertising is like a car with no headlights—it runs smoothly during the day, when people are awake and shopping, and saves money at night, when people are asleep.

At least that left hope for him. Except “Beauty and the Geek” wasn’t exactly the proper translation of the popular fairy tale.

Atty’s eyes rested on Darby with all the subtlety of a dog watching his food bowl being filled!

I was half asleep when I first saw her. She thought I was being flirty and winking at her. One eye open, one eye shut, that’s the best way to see love.

He has one of the worst personalities. Actually, you can’t call it a personality, since he acts more like an animal than a person.

Never put off until tomorrow that which may be avoided entirely.

Würde man Rooney als metrosexuell bezeichnen, würde er sich wohl zuerst verwundert am Quadratschädel kratzen und dann vorsichtshalber zuschlagen.

He wasn’t aware of it but when he smiled he looked like an amiable bear. When he didn’t smile he didn’t look amiable

Mother doesn’t cook, Ignatius said dogmatically, She burns.

Do you wanna play? Everyone’s dead, so I got bored. Did you come to play with me?–Wrath

Love smells like a flower in bloom. A flower that’s sitting on a pile of steaming feces.

I cross country ski on conveyer belts covered with shaved ice. People trying to check out at the grocery store need to show more respect for serious athletes.

A friend of Diagoras pointed out an expensive display of votive gifts and said, ‘You think the gods have no care for man? Why, you can see from all these votive pictures here how many...

People can do great things. However, there are some things they just CAN’T do. I, for instance, have not been able to transform myself into a Popsicle, despite years of effort.

There’s a reason why your toes are forward and your heels backward.It means, step on your past with your heels and approach your furute with your toes.

The thought of talking about it made Pueblo’s gut ache, but then he thought of everything that Amy had been through – not that she’d told him her version yet. She had balls of steel,...

Islam expect every Muslim to do this duty, and if we realise our responsibility time will come soon when we shall justify ourselves worthy of a glorious past.

I make ridiculous like I make damn sure nobody sees me when I do. I make it by hand and then I sell it on Etsy. Buy local.

Nothing is the best thing I’ve ever not worn. Also, nothing is the best thing I’ve ever worn. Nudity never goes out of style.

I’m sorry that your mystical, godlike powers do not instantly work as you would like them to.

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

There is no reason to feel embarrassed, Krysta.””Easy for you to say! You weren’t caught mentally checking out my package!”~ Étienne and Krysta

Twinkle twinkle little star, I want to hit you with a car. Throw you off a bridge so high,Hope you break your neck and die.

I named my ovaries, too, but they don’t get out as much.

If I weren’t already dead, I’d have to kill myself just so I could roll over in my grave.

I like visiting people in prison. I can say whatever I want to them, and they can’t do anything about it.

You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

In my dreams, my spare penis was decomposing in my closet, and to me it was a symbol of our love.

Quit analyzing me. My crazy needs no definition.

Tyler lies back and asks, “If Marilyn Monroe were alive right now, what would she be doing?”I say, goodnight.The headliner hangs down in shreds from the ceiling and Tyler says, “Clawing at the lid of...

This is my building—and my office has the best possible view.”

The greatest proof that the Bible is inspired is that it has withstood so much bad preaching!

You were wrong. She really is the new general in town.”I smiled back, hoping he wasn’t aware of my body’s reaction to us standing so close. “Maybe. But, it’s okay. You can still be colonel.”He...

I won’t die for my love—but I will live for her, which is much harder and more impactful.

If this is where you ask me to run around in my birthday suit, I’m not entirely comfortable with that,” I said, smirking.

Z: “You know, this was a hell of a lot easier when you were out cold in the back of that truck.”Phury: “That was you?”Z:”You think it was Santa Claus or some shit?

300” to be less about fighting, and more about bowling. At least they could have had the Spartans wear bowling shoes.

On a wing and a prayer.” (After being asked how the angels make love in Milton’s Paradise Lost).

You can’t save everyone, though God knows you try.

I loved her like the sun raining down on my skin. It was all so confusing, because was it raining or was it sunny? The answer is that love is always both, and that’s why...

Why go for something cold and dead, when you can have something hot and panting?

Ride?” Rhage snorted. “Please. That thing is a sewing machine with an air dam taped to it. My GTO could dust the fucker in fourth gear from a dead stop.”When there was an odd sound...

Love is a miracle drug. Shoot it up through your toes, so nobody knows.

He had existed for a long time and was fluent in many languages – most of them…dead ones.

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, ‘Where the hell is my roof?

What about you? If I asked you . . . would you turn me?”Faith’s eyes went wide. “Turn you into a vampire?””No, turn me into a frog. Could you do it?”Faith finished her beer in...

I’m not going to wear a red dress,” she said.”It would look stunning, My Lady,” she called.She spoke to the bubbles gathered on the surface of the water. “If there’s anyone I wish to stun...

Mein gutes altes kroatisches Herz beschleunigte von Walzer zu Death Metal.