So the first thing we’re gonna do,” I told him, “is push you off the roof.

Some kids get called ‘bundles of joy’ or ‘slices of heaven’ or ‘dreams come true.’ We got ‘the fifty-fourth generation of DNA experiments.’ Doesn’t have the same warm and fuzzy feel. But maybe I’m oversensitive.

Who, last time I’d checked, was still on our official archenemy list. (Yes, we have to keep a list. It’s kind of sad.)

He could totally be your boyfriend,” [Angel] went on with annoying persistance. “You guys could get married. I could be like a junior bridesmaid. Total could be your flower dog.””I’m only a kid!” I shrieked....

I stood my ground. “You evil scientist are all the same–evil. Count me out.”Fang and I brushed past Mr. God and walked quickly but smoothly to the exit. It was barely noon, and I’d already...

You looove me. (holds out arms) You love me this much.

Listen, street punk. You’re a guy, and you’re a couple inches taller, and maybe forty pounds heavier, and ooh, you’re in a gang. But I’ve survived ten years of Catholic school, and I will cut...

What happened to your tan?”–Fang”It was dirt.” –Max

That was the funniest thing I’d heard in days.You’re kidding, right? PLEASE tell me you have a stronger motive for me than ‘fair is fair.’ Life isn’t FAIR, Dean….Nothing is fair, EVER. That’s the stupidest...

Q: You’er presented with a smooth-faced, eight-foot-high wooden wall. Your objective? Get over it. To, like, save comrades or something. How to accomplish this?A: Take a running start, brace one foot against the wall, throw...

Well, that’s an evil smile…

I want to do it too!” (sitting motionless)Nudge: “Nope, you stand out like a fart in a church.”Max: (muttering) “Appropriately enough.”Iggy: “What about me?” (stands still)Max: “No, you’re visible.”Iggy: “Am not!”Max: (throws a pinecone at...

I didn’t know a van could go up on two wheels like that, for so long.” -Nudge