I have the ostrich of an asshole. I also have the asshole of an ostrich. With these two things, I have everything I need. Well, aside from love.

Designing an airplane and modeling it after an ostrich is a stretch, but I’ve always been flexible.

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‘Tragedy admires man. Comedy feels a bit sorry for him.’ We think we are kings or queens, masters of the universe or at least our own destiny. We forget that a foot may crush us,...

Be like a sparrow aspiring to be an ostrich, and I’ll be like a cowboy with no horse looking for a speedy land runner to ride.

Love is like being featherless in mid flight and not even wondering if you taste like chicken. My love must taste like ostrich, because I’m always running from it.

I’ve got a sizeable retirement nest egg. It’s an ostrich egg, and it’s going to make an omelet so big that it’ll produce enough leftovers for decades.

Any fool can turn a blind eye but who knows what the ostrich sees in the sand.