Eugene’s got a fake ID, and he actually gets away with using it because he looks like he’s thirty-six, thanks to his devotion to tasseled shoes and his ridiculous carpet of chest hair.

Networking is like fishing. Just give some beer and a boat and I’ll be in business.

During the first millennium BCE, even the beer-loving Mesopotamians turned their backs on beer, which was dethroned as the most cultured and civilized of drinks, and the age of wine began.

Snow is not microwave friendly. In fact, snow is not too friendly at all, unless you first buy it a few beers. Then it’s just downright slutty.

I’m gaining weight the right way: I’m drinking beer.

Never go for a drink in London’s square mile, nobody ever gets a round in.

But a year before that, I was starting to drink beer on the set of the film Lucas (1986).

After a while I got hungry and went to the kitchen. There was nothing to eat. I drank another beer and looked again, and found half a loaf of whole wheat bread behind the beer...

I’ve had a stressful day, and I need something stronger than beer. Somebody fetch me a bodybuilder. Check the cooler in the garage.

I am the food of love. And do you know what food that is? Distilled barley.

I ordered a beer and then I ordered another beer, because why finish one when I can finish two? Having only one is great for love, but bad for beer.

If I show up on your doorstep don’t worry I’m just there to party.

I’ve never been thrown out of a pub, but I’ve fallen into quite a few

If you find semen in your beer, you’ll no longer have to wonder why I no longer have an erection. Love touches us all, like I touch myself.

If a cigarette butt in the bottom of a beer bottle had a voice it would be the voice of Phil Tufnell.

A beer bottle on a stick, like a broom, is less for cleaning and more for distance drinking. My floor is so filthy I’ll drink twelve.

The sacred pint alone can unbind the tongue…

The problem with Marxism is the proletariat isn’t going to rise up against capitalism and consumerism. The only time they’ll rise up is during a commercial break to either go to the bathroom or grab...

Its funny whenever people who have’nt seen me in years meet up with me again and they are surprised that I’m not as shy and quiet as I was in the past, I credit that...

Nothing gives a sensation better than a beer! Nothing builds a relation better than a beer!

If I share your bottle of beer, I’ll take the left side.

You’re a Dark One,” said Anton. “All you see in everything is evil, treachery, trickery.””All I do is not close my eyes to them,” Edgar retorted. “And that’s why I don’t trust Zabulon. I distrust...

Love is to beer as I am to drunk. And you say I’m not romantic. Shoot, I’m so romantic I could just puke.

There is this advantage about German beer: it does not make a man drunk as the word drunk is understood in England. There is nothing objectionable about him; he is simply tired. He does not...

Hit the bottom and get back up; or hit the bottle and stay down.

I’m in the middle between a pessimist and an optimist. I take full responsibility for the glass half full. Well, I take half-full responsibility. But if it were full of beer, I’d take full responsibility.

120 million of us place the big bang 2,500 years after the Babylonians and Sumerians learned to brew beer.

I sat backstage and had a beer with Richard Chamberlain, Paul Newman, and Princess Grace.

With the smell of beer I try to get the smell of death off me. And only the smell of death will get the smell of beer off you, like all the drinkers whose graves...

For drink, there was beer which was very strong when not mingled with water, but was agreeable to those who were used to it. They drank this with a reed, out of the vessel that...

My goal is to hit the gym every day I’m on vacation. Usually I just end up sleeping and drinking beer.

Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!

I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.

They sell courage of a sort in the taverns. And another sort, though not for sale, a man can find in the confessional. Try the alehouses and the churches, Hugh. In either a man can...

Of all public figures and benefactors of mankind, no one is loved by history more than the literary patron. Napoleon was just a general of forgotten battles compared with the queen who paid for Shakespeare’s...

Beer is the Danish national drink, and the Danish national weakness is another beer.

We smoked fat cigars by the campfire and they tasted like wood and ash. The inhale and exhale was exciting. Blowing smoke rings in the calm forest air was followed by a deep swallow of...

A man who lies about beer makes enemies

Can you still want something you already have? Absolutely. Everyday.

Beer is made by men, wine by God.

I have always wanted to open up a brewery slash goat farm. Brew some beer, make some goat cheese, but that’s kinda dreamy.

Yo, I’m in position. Ready when you is.”Gareth cringed while crossing the wide concourse, checking both directions. The giant hallway was the main drag of a ghost town, its only residents a solitary custodian sweeping...

American culture enforces such rigid gender roles for male friendships that they are gay unless they materially resemble a beer commercial.

To have a man whose name is on the label showing such interest, commitment, and determination for the best is a wonderful thing. This is someone who will throw money at quality, who believes in...

Oh my God. I’m not Keith Richards. I’m Otis from Mayberry! A fucking drunk!

It’s an alien apocalypse! Quick, grab the beer!

The advertise their products in such a fashion as to make it seem wonderful to drink their ethanol products. It does not matter if they give their products fancy name like Cabernet Sauvignon or Pinot...

Whenever the devil harasses you, seek the company of men or drink more, or joke and talk nonsense, or do some other merry thing. Sometimes we must drink more, sport, recreate ourselves, and even sin...

They say revenge is a dish best served cold. This isn’t correct. Revenge is a dish best served lukewarm or at room temperature (depending on the room) with a side of sauerkraut lightly sprinkled with...

To me, beer tastes like piss. Maybe that’s why I only enjoy it in the shower with my uncle.