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Beer  Quotes
I was so done with looking at life through the eyes of beer-drinking cheese-heads. I wanted to go on that mission trip and look through the eyes of someone from a different culture and see...

—Holly Michael

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BeerBeer-And-AttitudeCulture
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Religion is a non-alcoholic man’s alcohol. Alcohol is a non-religious man’s religion.

—Mokokoma Mokhonoana

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AlcoholAnesthesiaAtheism
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I like my coffee black, my beer from Germany, wine from Burgundy, the darker, the better. I like my heroes complicated and brooding, James Dean in oiled leather, leaning on a motorcycle. You know the...

—Barbara Crooker

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BeerCoffeeHeroes
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She ordered beer all night, and I ordered root beer. She was drunk, and so was I—with love.

—Jarod Kintz

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BeerDrunkHumor
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I never had one beer. If I bought a six-pack of beer, I kept drinking till all six beers were gone. You have to have that kind of understanding about yourself. I haven’t had a...

—Samuel L.

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BeerDrinkGone
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Eugene’s got a fake ID, and he actually gets away with using it because he looks like he’s thirty-six, thanks to his devotion to tasseled shoes and his ridiculous carpet of chest hair.

—Flynn Meaney

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BeerChest-HairFake-Id
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Networking is like fishing. Just give some beer and a boat and I’ll be in business.

—Jarod Kintz

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BeerBoatBusiness
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During the first millennium BCE, even the beer-loving Mesopotamians turned their backs on beer, which was dethroned as the most cultured and civilized of drinks, and the age of wine began.

—Tom Standage

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BeerCivilizationCulture
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Snow is not microwave friendly. In fact, snow is not too friendly at all, unless you first buy it a few beers. Then it’s just downright slutty.

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdAlcoholBeer
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I’m gaining weight the right way: I’m drinking beer.

—Johnny Damon

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BeerDrinkingWeight
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Never go for a drink in London’s square mile, nobody ever gets a round in.

—Benny Bellamacina

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BeerDrinksHumour
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But a year before that, I was starting to drink beer on the set of the film Lucas (1986).

—Corey Haim

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BeerDrinkYear
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After a while I got hungry and went to the kitchen. There was nothing to eat. I drank another beer and looked again, and found half a loaf of whole wheat bread behind the beer...

—Robert B. Parker

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BeerDetectivesFood
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I’ve had a stressful day, and I need something stronger than beer. Somebody fetch me a bodybuilder. Check the cooler in the garage.

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdBeerBodybuilder
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I am the food of love. And do you know what food that is? Distilled barley.

—Jarod Kintz

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BeerFoodHumor
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I ordered a beer and then I ordered another beer, because why finish one when I can finish two? Having only one is great for love, but bad for beer.

—Jarod Kintz

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AlcoholBadBar
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If I show up on your doorstep don’t worry I’m just there to party.

—Kenny D.

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BeerDrinkingFriendship
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I’ve never been thrown out of a pub, but I’ve fallen into quite a few

—Benny Bellamacina

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BeerEnglandLife
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If you find semen in your beer, you’ll no longer have to wonder why I no longer have an erection. Love touches us all, like I touch myself.

—Jarod Kintz

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BeerErectionHumor
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If a cigarette butt in the bottom of a beer bottle had a voice it would be the voice of Phil Tufnell.

—Telford Vice

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BeerCigarettesCricket
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A beer bottle on a stick, like a broom, is less for cleaning and more for distance drinking. My floor is so filthy I’ll drink twelve.

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdAlcoholBeer
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The sacred pint alone can unbind the tongue…

—James Joyce

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BeerDrinkingUlysses
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The problem with Marxism is the proletariat isn’t going to rise up against capitalism and consumerism. The only time they’ll rise up is during a commercial break to either go to the bathroom or grab...

—Jarod Kintz

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BathroomBeerCapitalism
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Its funny whenever people who have’nt seen me in years meet up with me again and they are surprised that I’m not as shy and quiet as I was in the past, I credit that...

—Kenny D.

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BeerDrinking
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Nothing gives a sensation better than a beer! Nothing builds a relation better than a beer!

—Anshul Dubey

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BeerDrinkingFun
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If I share your bottle of beer, I’ll take the left side.

—Jarod Kintz

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AlcoholBeerHumor
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You’re a Dark One,” said Anton. “All you see in everything is evil, treachery, trickery.””All I do is not close my eyes to them,” Edgar retorted. “And that’s why I don’t trust Zabulon. I distrust...

—Sergei Lukyanenko

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BeerCamaraderieColors
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Love is to beer as I am to drunk. And you say I’m not romantic. Shoot, I’m so romantic I could just puke.

—Jarod Kintz

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AlcoholBeerDrinking
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There is this advantage about German beer: it does not make a man drunk as the word drunk is understood in England. There is nothing objectionable about him; he is simply tired. He does not...

—Jerome K.

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AlcoholBeerGermany
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Hit the bottom and get back up; or hit the bottle and stay down.

—Anthony Liccione

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AbuseAlcoholAlcoholics-Anonymous
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I’m in the middle between a pessimist and an optimist. I take full responsibility for the glass half full. Well, I take half-full responsibility. But if it were full of beer, I’d take full responsibility.

—Jarod Kintz

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BeerHumorOptimism
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120 million of us place the big bang 2,500 years after the Babylonians and Sumerians learned to brew beer.

—Sam Harris

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BeerBig-BangReligion
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I sat backstage and had a beer with Richard Chamberlain, Paul Newman, and Princess Grace.

—Christopher Atkins

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BeerGracePrincess
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With the smell of beer I try to get the smell of death off me. And only the smell of death will get the smell of beer off you, like all the drinkers whose graves...

—Italo Calvino

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AlcoholBeerDeath
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For drink, there was beer which was very strong when not mingled with water, but was agreeable to those who were used to it. They drank this with a reed, out of the vessel that...

—Xenophon

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BeerStrongWater
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My goal is to hit the gym every day I’m on vacation. Usually I just end up sleeping and drinking beer.

—Gary Allan

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BeerGoalHit
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Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!

—Martin Luther

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BeerDrinkingHeaven
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I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.

—Abraham Lincoln

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BeerDemocracyInformed-Decisions
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They sell courage of a sort in the taverns. And another sort, though not for sale, a man can find in the confessional. Try the alehouses and the churches, Hugh. In either a man can...

—Ellis Peters

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AlcoholBeerConfession
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Of all public figures and benefactors of mankind, no one is loved by history more than the literary patron. Napoleon was just a general of forgotten battles compared with the queen who paid for Shakespeare’s...

—Roman Payne

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AltruismBattlesBeer
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Beer is the Danish national drink, and the Danish national weakness is another beer.

—Clementine Paddleford

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BeerDrinkNational
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We smoked fat cigars by the campfire and they tasted like wood and ash. The inhale and exhale was exciting. Blowing smoke rings in the calm forest air was followed by a deep swallow of...

—Daniel J.

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BeerCigarsDrinking
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A man who lies about beer makes enemies

—Stephen King

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BeerEnemies
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Can you still want something you already have? Absolutely. Everyday.

—Crystal Woods

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BeerDesireHunger
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Beer is made by men, wine by God.

—Martin Luther

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BeerWine
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I have always wanted to open up a brewery slash goat farm. Brew some beer, make some goat cheese, but that’s kinda dreamy.

—Adam Lamberg

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BeerCheeseOpen
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Yo, I’m in position. Ready when you is.”Gareth cringed while crossing the wide concourse, checking both directions. The giant hallway was the main drag of a ghost town, its only residents a solitary custodian sweeping...

—Jay Nichols

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BeerCollegeEpic
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American culture enforces such rigid gender roles for male friendships that they are gay unless they materially resemble a beer commercial.

—Thomm Quackenbush

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AmericaBeerFriendship
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To have a man whose name is on the label showing such interest, commitment, and determination for the best is a wonderful thing. This is someone who will throw money at quality, who believes in...

—Charles W.

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BeerCommitmentCorporate-Ethics
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Oh my God. I’m not Keith Richards. I’m Otis from Mayberry! A fucking drunk!

—Dave Mustaine

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BeerDrunkKeith-Richards
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