The dark prince sat astride his black steed, his sable cape flowing behind him. A golden circlet bound his blond locks, his handsome face was cold with the rage of battle, and…”And his arm looked...

Remember, the village idiot was the spiritual man who built the ark and saved his family. Keep being you and never give up marching to the beat of your own drum!

If I can scoop soup at 20 MPH while riding a three-legged horse, just imagine how great of a lover I am when I’m lying perfectly still.

Aline!” Isabelle looked appalled. “You can’t just go around asking people what it’s like to be a vampire.

I don’t even pretend to believe I know everything; I just believe in arguments God told me I had a pretty good chance of winning, while I was traveling through hell.

I love love, I hate hate, and I’m indifferent about indifference.

And tell them what?” Jace said witheringly. “That invisible people are bothering you? Trust me, little girl, the police aren’t going to arrest someone they can’t see

He’s bound to have done something,” Nobby repeated.In this he was echoing the Patrician’s view of crime and punishment. If there was crime, there should be punishment. If the specific criminal should be involved in...

Today I had to cut my Silent and Still Statue Demonstration Ceremony short due to wind conditions. Tonight I’ll make love like a tornado.

We have been helping, trying to help Afghanistan in many ways, even from the beginning of… the beginnings of the ’20s, 1920s, when he we were fighting our own national struggle.

I like going to France, because no one knows who I am.

If you make a nickel a second, you can’t afford to pick up a penny off the ground. It’s the same with love.

If water was beer I’d be a teetotaler

Well, child? Aren’t you going to try to turn me into some kind of unspeakable creature?I don’t think I shall bother, madam, seeing as you are making such a good job of it yourself!

While they had security escort me out of the building, they couldn’t forcibly remove the trophy from my anus. If love were a competition, I’d be the winner.

One person may look and only see a tree, whereas others may look and see a tree with leaves.

Through my quick action, I was able to capture her mannerism and store it in a jar. It looks like mayonnaise, but it tastes like love.

I can’t decide whether I’m a good girl wrapped up in a bad girl, or if I’m a bad girl wrapped up in a good girl. And that’s how I know I’m a woman!

Is that a bullet hole?” Freaking great.

The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.

And you know what? It was your own damn fault. It was those jeans you wear, and the tool belt. It was the size of your hammer!

Nature is a porno. Deal with it.

I’m a great lover, I’ll bet.

Staring at my smoldering hot date, her husband stands tall for the first time in a decade, adjusting his toupee while flashing a horrid green toothy grin that looks more like a Steven Hawkins muscle...

For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.

(The Mona Lisa), that really is the ugliest portrait I’ve seen, the only thing that supposedly makes it famous is the mystery behind it,” Katherine admitted as she remembered her trips to the Louvre and...

A man should be more original than a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates. Flowers die and sugar sticks to your hips like a permanent record to a criminal.

Oh, well, that’s not bad, I suppose. I mean, I’d prefer devastatingly sophisticated – but almost endearing is more than I could have hoped for under the circumstances.

I’m healthy as an ox. And you?” “To compare myself with a bovine would be both ridiculous and insulting, but I’m fit as ever, if that is what you are asking.

On the corner of Cathedral Road a raven sat in a tree watching him. He knew it was Dorkus for two reasons. Firstly, he’d told Dorkus to stay there to keep an eye on Michael....

The cops have no idea where my cave is, and your first package has yet to be delivered.”

But before I pass out, I want you to know that you’re the hottest biscuit this side of the gravy boat.

We made love like green is blue. That’s because we were only half into it, though for the record I was the blue and she was the disinterested yellow.

fresh” chicken noodle soup through a 20-foot straw that runs from the basement up to the attic, where she found the soup.

A brick could be used as a blanket, and a blanket could be used as a brick, but not very well and not equally as well. Which is whicher depends on whose colder and who’s...

Sorry to interrupt, guys, but what’s an information system?”Still, your mind will drift further, envisioning how much more tolerable this call would be if you could just slowly masturbate during it. So you do. You...

Remove yourself, sir!

At least my happiness doesn’t depend on Ron’s goalkeeping ability.

I’m telling you, Augustus Waters talked so much that he’d interrupt you at his own funeral.

Why is it beautiful that humanity keeps coming back? So does herpes.

He giggled like a puppy being tickled by a kitten wearing a duckling costume.

A brick could be used to sell a blanket, in a buy one get one free situation. It doesn’t matter if it’s rubble, if it’s free people want it.

I bet the worst part about dying is the part where your whole life passes before you.

A blanket could be used to sell your winningest product to your loserest customer. Oh, loserest is a word. I know, because I just wrote it.

…Don’t you just hate a phony-looking stiff?” – Aunt Edna

I never feel unsafe except for when the majority is on my side.

It does not mean you are not awesome, if no one ever appreciates your beauty. But I can see that, in your juicy eyes, funny smiles and innocent face. And I am telling you now;...

Parvati positively beamed. Harry could tell that she was feeling guilty for having laughed at Hermione in Transfiguration. He looked around and saw that Hermione was beaming back, if possible even more brightly. Girls were...

Bones just stared. “You’re not a woman,” he said finally. “You’re the Grim Reaper with red hair!

Angels are good not simply because they see bad as bad, but also because they see bad as corny.