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Comical  Quotes
If you want to know what’s going on, keep your mind in the fridge or it might go off.

-Benny Bellamacina

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ComicalHumourPhilosophical
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“He loved her…It was noble of him. It was beautiful.”-“It was stupid.

-Lloyd Alexander

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ComebacksComedyComical
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Short men are happy, for they can pass easily through the door. Tall men are happy, for they can stand erect and pluck oranges with their hands. Again, short men are angry, for they cannot stand erect and pluck oranges with their hands. Again, tall men are angry, for they cannot pass easily through the...

-Michael Bassey

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AbilityAbnormalityAmusement
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Next to God, Family is the best thing.

-April Floyd

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April-FloydComicalDisabilities
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One should never give up on hope. Unless that’s the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up.

-Carroll Bryant

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ComedyComedy-HumorComical
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It seems to me that very sad things always contain an element of the comical

-Haruki Murakami

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ComicalSad
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Who in the universe halts when the enemy tells them to?

-Sherwood Smith

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ComicalCrownEnemy
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I was beginning to think that Simon just had a bad case of OCD, ADD, and PMS. With a little BS and OMG mixed in.

-Dannika Dark

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AddBsCharacter
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I’ve never been lost, but I was mighty turned around for three days once.

-Daniel Boone

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ComicalConfusedLost
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Knowledge may be power, but half of what I know I wish I could forget.

-Carroll Bryant

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Comedy-HumorComicalHumor
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What goes up must come down. Which is why we invented Viagra, to make it stay up a little longer.

-Carroll Bryant

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ComicalFunnyHumor
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Assumptions are unopened windows that foolish birds fly into, and their broken bodies are evidence gathered too late.

-Bryan Davis

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AssumptionsBluntComical
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This book had two authors, and they were both the same person.

-Terry Pratchett

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ComicalFantasy-BooksFantasy-Fiction
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I cannot, I cannot,’ cried Marianne; ‘leave me, leave me, if I distress you; leave me, hate me, forget me! But do not torture me so. Oh! how easy for those who have no sorrow of their own to talk of extertion!

-Jane Austen

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AngerComicalDistress
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Dear Edmond,While you were sleeping this afternoon, I was busy hustling around town. You see, when I woke up early this morning to clean the apartment for the party tonight, I noticed that all your furniture was missing. And by all, I do mean everything. So I raced around town trying to replace all your...

-Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdComicalFunny
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01210 is a pyramid, & worms move like handicapped snakes. My dream belongs in a wheelchair, because I just spilled coffee all over my sleep.

-Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdCoffeeComical
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…You see I believe in that stuff to: yoga and mystical powers. I once knew a man who could kill himself on command. Can you believe that? . . . Why do you laugh? . . . Believe it! By will of his own mind, he could make his heart stop beating for good’ My...

-Roman Payne

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ComicalDeathFunny
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Life is like an atom bomb… It’s a blast… but it can be a bummer too!

-JOHNNY CORN

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ComicalFunny-And-RandomHumor
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Thomas was sick of being accused of knowing things.

-James Dashner

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CleverComicalFunny
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It is better to make an irrational noise in a bush than in a desert.

-Duop Chak

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BushComicalDesert
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Well Connor thought ruefully At least now I know who to thank for my anger issues.

-Justin Somper

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ComicalConnorFunny
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All I wanted for Christmas was a New Years Eve party that I would never forget. Too bad I got too drunk to remember it.

-Carroll Bryant

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ComicalFunnyFunny-Humor
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Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn’t that there aren’t any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly.

-Carroll Bryant

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ComicalFunny-As-HellFunny-But-Sad
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Foxbrush sneezed again.He couldn’t help himself. It’s not something a fellow likes to do when a stunningly beautiful woman is leaning toward him with an expression on her face like Nidawi’s wore. But sneezes are not prey to the wants or wishes of those inflicted with them. He sneezed so violently that he nearly knocked...

-Anne Elisabeth

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Anne-Elisabeth-StenglComicalFairy-Tales
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