You knocked the door down.” Disbelief rang in his matter-of-fact tone. “I know,” she answered,unable to say anything else. Unable to look away from his body.”But it’s solid oak.””I know.” She felt the solid oak...

You need anything we’re only an hour away, give or take, honey. You call. We’ll help you hide the body.

There was a group of fans who wanted autographs, and several women who managed to write their phone numbers on Wade’s hand before he pulled free.Sam sent him an arched brow, but he just shrugged....

How dare you open a spaceman’s helmet on an uncharted planet? My eyeballs could’ve been sucked from their sockets!

I had done Shrek as a Canadian and I’m very proud to be Canadian, but I knew I could give more to it.

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don’t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught...

I had a dream about you. You were crying, and I couldn’t tell if it was because you were sad or because you’d been laughing too hard. So I decided to find out by telling...

Pressure is something you feel when you don’t know what the hell you’re doing.

I make love like I make lasagna. I just made some, so would you like seconds?

That´s the problem with planning a late night supper after the opera, not only does the hero or the heroine die singing, but you end up famished after the last notes of the finale.

I squared my shoulders, trying to ignore the fact that I was standing in the apartment of the sea witch, wearing a fairy-tale prom gown, waiting for the attack of the mermaids.

I had a dream about you. You were on a bike going 70 miles an hour, I could see you approaching my car in the mirror. You were trying to say something so, I jumped...

Is she special? (asks the gay waiter)” I thinks she’s going to break my heart” On arrival of the girl” The flannel is fine honey,but I have’nt seen anyone that over accesorized since batman!

It’s hard to believe someone who walks around commanding so much attention with his acute cockiness, hard muscles, and tattoos would ever let someone like me bring him to his knees-and make no mistake, I...

Are you ever going to kiss me without swearing first?

Look, if I were straight, you’d be grandparents before your time. You should be relieved that I’m gay. Aren’t you grateful?

I enjoy self-publishing & sending publishers rejection letters. They’re like, ‘Who is this guy?’ And I’m like, ‘the end of your industry.

We’re not trying to get all up in your biznez, Ali.

I make love like a snake disguised as an elephant and a donkey. But I mustn’t talk about sexual congress and Congress simultaneously.

Bücher haben Ehrgefühl. Wenn man sie verleiht, kommen sie nicht mehr zurück.

A brick could be used to prop up a wobbly table—or an unstable relationship. I wish I’d have thought of that before I got divorced.

Instead of heading for a big mental breakdown, I decided to have a small breakdown every Tuesday evening.

Words were his delight; Hers, a gay gracefulnessOf dancing and moving. But when to the place Of deep loving (Starlight at midnight)At last they came, Their full communion And consummation,Their complete sphere,Was stillness for her,Silence...

A brick could be used as a blanket, and a blanket could be used as a brick, but not very well and not equally as well. Which is whicher depends on whose colder and who’s...

Sorry to interrupt, guys, but what’s an information system?”Still, your mind will drift further, envisioning how much more tolerable this call would be if you could just slowly masturbate during it. So you do. You...

Percy: I’ll walk down to the cabins and Connor and Travis are stealing stuff from the camp store, and Silena is arguing with Annabeth trying to give her a new makeover, and Clarisse is still...

Remove yourself, sir!

At least my happiness doesn’t depend on Ron’s goalkeeping ability.

A woman would pitch a joke. Nothing. Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh.

I’m telling you, Augustus Waters talked so much that he’d interrupt you at his own funeral.

Why is it beautiful that humanity keeps coming back? So does herpes.

It wasn’t until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I’m just behind the jokes.

He giggled like a puppy being tickled by a kitten wearing a duckling costume.

A brick could be used to sell a blanket, in a buy one get one free situation. It doesn’t matter if it’s rubble, if it’s free people want it.

Fang let out a low whistle. “Anyone know that Amazons could ride a giant bird?”Ethon gave him a duh stare. “Those of us who fought them, yeah, we know. How you think they keep kicking...

I bet the worst part about dying is the part where your whole life passes before you.

A blanket could be used to sell your winningest product to your loserest customer. Oh, loserest is a word. I know, because I just wrote it.

Stay in the car Nick””okay.”Ash gets out abd goes to look at the dead body.”For an immortal being with 11,000 years under his belt Ash sure is stupid.” Nick gets out and sees the blood.”That’s...

…Don’t you just hate a phony-looking stiff?” – Aunt Edna

I never feel unsafe except for when the majority is on my side.

Never grow up!

It does not mean you are not awesome, if no one ever appreciates your beauty. But I can see that, in your juicy eyes, funny smiles and innocent face. And I am telling you now;...

Parvati positively beamed. Harry could tell that she was feeling guilty for having laughed at Hermione in Transfiguration. He looked around and saw that Hermione was beaming back, if possible even more brightly. Girls were...

What we’ve got here is a lunatic genius ghost-in-the-computer monorail that likes riddles and goes faster than the speed of sound. Welcome to the fantasy version of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.

Bones just stared. “You’re not a woman,” he said finally. “You’re the Grim Reaper with red hair!

Angels are good not simply because they see bad as bad, but also because they see bad as corny.

I’ve never been arrested. I’ve been stopped, searched and had a gun put to my head by the Chicago cops.

Bucket had started his criminal career in Braas, not far from when Allan and his new friends now found themselves. There he had gotten together with some like-minded peers and started the motorcycle club called...

A blanket could be used to store valuable information that will keep future generations warm overnight. And just so you know, it wasn’t me that farted in the blanket. That’s a bit too much information,...

Now defend what is ours, my partner.”He grinned … grinned! … and whirled to meet Myrnin in midleap as Myrnin attacked.