The first casualty of war is casual wear.

Okay, you won our shitty little argument. Pass the world.

The robots came bearing a gift and the name of it was “Plenty.”Plenty is a habit-forming drug. You do not cut the dosage down. You kick it if you can; you stop the dose entirely....

A man is angry at a libel because it is false, but at a satire because it is true.

Have a little sociological beano. As you said – in sociology one can do anything and call it work.

The old joke is that psychiatrists are doctors who can’t stand the sight of blood. Maybe they can’t stand it, but if they work where I work, they damn well better get used to it.At...

conservative n.A person who possesses an underdeveloped taste for tyranny.liberal n.A person who believes in liberty, but only for the state.

Excerpt from Magel’s Daughter:”I think we’re all like the lutefisk, steeped in poison, and then we try to clean it up for Christmas.

Quite possibly the only infinite power in the universe may be the human capacity for self-deception.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, a family is defined as two or more people living together who are related by birth, marriage or adoption. In other words, the U.S. Census Bureau is run by...

The Macedonian Endeavour Channel was screening live coverage of the world series of the Who’s Got the Stupidest Name (WGSN) competition. First prize had already gone to Brian Burdock, a French Algerian with a penchant...

Irreverence is our only sacred cow.

You know, you’re rather amusingly wrong.

Tanto la marginalidad como la exclusividad pierden su sentido cuando se popularizan.

Akthent on thee latht thyllable.

I suppose that saves us from having to determine what to do with a butler who goes around killing people. It certainly reflects badly upon our domestic staff. Still, I shall miss him. There was...

Laughter is the best medicine

A história de todas as grandes civilizações galácticas tende a passar por três fases distintas e identificáveis: a da Sobrevivência, a da Interrogação e a da Sofisticação, também conhecidas pelas fases Como, Porquê e Onde....

My dear countrymen, I hope that you will live to see the day when you learn to believe in other gods than a few movie whores and a couple of prize-fighters.

After having so nobly disentangled themselves from the shackles of Parental Authority, by a Clandestine Marriage, they were determined never to forfeit the good opinion they had gained in the World, in so doing, by...

I’m a kindhearted but highly competitive pragmatist. When I seek to win something, I always make certain it’s never at the expense of anything more serious than the inadequate efforts of others.

Verstehst du, im Grunde sind doch die Mitarbeiter das Problem. Du zahlst, wenn du sie einstellst, du zahlst, wenn du sie rausschmeißt, und dazwischen muss du sie auch noch bezahlen.

What gets me most about these people, Daddy, isn’t how ignorant they are, or how much they drink. It’s the way they have of thinking that everything nice in the world is a gift to...

…but there’s always he’ll want to torture your boss anyway. Just recreationally, I mean.””Wow that would be terrific,” I said

Why was the meeting between the Americans and the Russians so tensed?Because nobody knows what Vladimir Put In Barbara’s Bush! From ‘Walk On By II

Real life… Witches: Wiccan practitioners. Werewolves: rare strain of rabies. Zombies: Prions/Plague. Vampires: Hemophilia/Porphyria

Her protestations were drowned out by the sound of Gordon Honeycomb barfing up aftershock into the kitchenette sink.

With him big Phil from Notting Hill an old “face” from the sixties a pin up gangster with a “mars bar” weal scraping his left cheek and of course two “wag” slags in tow trussed...

But we were dragons. We were supposed to be cruel, cunning, heartless and terrible. But this much I can tell you, we never burned and tortured and ripped one another apart and called it morality.

I know a lie when I hear one.

There are so many problems to solve on this planet first before we begin to trash other worlds.

I guess if you get too close, the twinkling stops; they don’t look like stars anymore.

The only candidate I’d allow to play my music would be Bigfoot, and unless we’re talking about foraging for squirrels, he’s notoriously apolitical.

Every student should know that statues are meant for sitting. If we’re to endure their terrible old faces leering at us, the least they can do is offer shade or a comfortable perch.” Nigel Bristow...

Oh well,” McWatt sang, “what the hell.

If you live your life with passion, every second will become an adventure.

Really, I protest–what is left for the satirical mind to invent when reality so surpasses it?

He said science was going to discover the basic secret of life some day,’ the bartender put in. He scratched his head and frowned. ‘Didn’t I read in the paper the other day where they’d...

Oh, I hate the cheap severity of abstract ethics!

Percy, you are dismissed from my service.””Me? Why, my lord?””Why? Because, Percy, far from being a fit consort for a prince of the realm, you would bore the leggings off a village idiot. You ride...

A fig for those by law protected!Liberty’s a glorious feast!Courts for cowards were erected,Churches built to please the priest!

Toasting a witch”, St John replied.

When…did it become irrational to dislike religion, any religion, even to dislike it vehemently? When did reason get redescribed as unreason? When were the fairy stories of the superstitious placed above criticism, beyond satire? A...

Nevertheless a certain class of dishonesty, dishonesty magnificent in its proportions, and climbing into high places, has become at the same time so rampant and so splendid that there seems to be reason for fearing...

I do not dance,’ said Jean-Claude, who had forsworn that exercise for much the same reasons as Miss Stevenson.But here he spoke too soon, for Lady Dorothy Bingham, merciless to what she called ‘ballroom skulkers’,...

She was a gardener of the ruthless type, and went for any small green thing that incautiously showed a timid spike above the earth, suspecting it of being a weed. She had had a slight...

Show, don’t tell.” Thanks for nothing, Mr. Cryptic.

Welcome to Hell. Here’s your accordion.

The emperor is naked!”The parade stopped. The emperor paused. A hush fell over the crowd, until one quick-thinking peasant shouted:”No, he isn’t. The emperor is merely endorsing a clothing-optional lifestyle!

Well, really, how would you like to make love with someone who kept twittering about his pure mystic modality and wanted to stick flowers in your navel?