It’s just that in the Deep South, women learn at a young age that when the world is falling apart around you, it’s time to take down the drapes and make a new dress.

I had a dream about you. My office was a closet, and your office was a huge fur factory. I wanted a raise, and you got the elevator.

Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.

Quicksand is nature’s way of saying slow down. Me pushing you in quicksand is my way of saying be still and let me love you. Isn’t it funny how a lasso looks like a noose?

What’s the point of being the first to arrive? Nobody is there to witness your commitment.

Some things are fairly obvious when it’s a seven-foot skeleton with a scythe telling you them

I had a dream about you, you were trying to tell me a pipe had burst but, I did not want to be around you because I thought your feet smelt terrible. When I realized...

Oh, I see. As long as you didn’t kill her, kill her, then that’s okay.

I had a dream about you. You were playing the guitar like it was a piano, and I was impressed with my deafness. You played awfully, but all I could hear was I love you.

Maybe it was me,” Grandma said.”Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?

[…] and unfortunately most women did not seem to have the same urges. Or if they did, they wouldn’t admit it. They probably didn’t, anyway. But if they did they wouldn’t admit it.

Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.

It’s not that there is more stupidity. It just has more intrusive ways of presenting itself. It used to be, you could be near an idiot and you wouldn’t know it. With today’s advances, that’s...

no.

Most of the upper management of I.S. were undead. I always thought it was because the job was easier if you didn’t have a soul.

I had a dream about you. You wrapped the American flag around you like a towel, while I let Russia shower me with praise. The people over there really seemed to love me, probably because...

Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven’t said enough!

Why fly in a space ship when you can just park it in my driveway? I’ll even move my tricycle to the bathtub, to heighten your showering experience. Who says I’m not romantic?

You are dead. It just hasn’t occurred to you yet.

The figures looked more or less human. And they were engaged in religion. You could tell by the knives (it’s not murder if you do it for a god).

Amy let him lead her to the dance area. She gasped when he immediately tugged her body against his. Clearly Erik had not learned the dance rules taught at St. Francis High School. He didn’t...

Wait, that’s your idea? That’s your expert advice? You’re going to tell these novelists to just keep going? You’re going to tell these honest, earnest writers: You gotta have faith? Those are George Michael lyrics,...

There will be pain.” (Qyburn)”I’ll scream.” (Jaime Lannister)”A great deal of pain.” (Qyburn)”I’ll scream very loudly.” Jaime Lannister)

Couldn’t you just lie and tell me you have some kind of secret badass weapon that is going to make this a piece of cake?

The rooftop of the mouth is where the chest must sing love songs.

I love how sincere she is. She makes a mannequin look like Mother Theresa, though she looks better naked. And I hope she thinks I look better naked than a dead woman.

There were only three times in your life when it was proper to come through the front door, and you were carried every time.

Just because it’s old, doesn’t mean it’s gold.

We did something incredibly stupid today.””I know. We should never had had sex without that darn condom.””What?!

I enjoy reading books by way of subtitles from the movies they got made into.

A man who discovers his pants are on fire tends to have very little time to worry about somebody else’s box of matches

18 is like two snoozes back to back, or the birthday of two clones, blindfolded, standing back to back.

The commodity I sell is nonsense. Condiments sold separately. Ah, but that’s life, no?

Pride is all very well, but a sausage is a sausage.

There is a fascination here that holds rich and poor, strong and weak captive,not with chains and fetters but by an almost touchable solace…

I do not believe in God. Instead I believe in the power of Family. And occasionally, when I’m feeling optimistic, in free will. But blood is a force to be reckoned with. God for example,...

Very well.” He sat cross-legged on the floor of the cage. “You haven’t run off so you want to talk. I will hear your explanation now.””Really, Your Majesty? So good of you to condescend. I’ll...

I’m back… and you knew I was coming. On my way here I passed a cinema with the sign ‘The Mummy Returns’.

Both things have pros, and both have cons, but I think the pros and cons equal out leaving me unequal to the task of choosing.

I went to visit my dad. He didn’t say a word to me. Or if he did, I couldn’t hear it through the grass, the dirt, and his coffin lid.

Well, Hell was worse, of course, by definition. But Crowley remembered what Heaven was like, and it had quite a few things in common with Hell. You couldn’t get a decent drink in either of...

I like to see an angry Englishman,” said Poirot. “They are very amusing. The more emotional they feel the less command they have of language.

If a tree falls in the forest and kills your ex-wife, what do you do with the lumber?

I’m lyrically illiterate. Actually, more accurately, I can’t read music.

You have no tail!” said Brightspot. her own whipped suddenly forward; she stared, first at it, then at Wilson.”How do you manage?

I drink sleep, but not like I drink coffee. I chug one and sip the other.

The stranger was as white as a gallon of milk, and I felt the desire to pour his soul into my coffee. I’d drink him like the ghost of my grandpa.

Gossiping’s part of witchcraft,’ said Tiffany. ‘They’re checking to see if they’ve gone batty yet.

Two things I learned a long time ago, Cate: Don’t hold a grudge longer than it takes to work your way through a pan of brownies all by yourself, and don’t begrudge someone an apology...

If there is anyone here whom I have not insulted, I beg his pardon.