Of course it is juggling, theman in motley was saying…YOu know what your problem is, Sir Grenall? You’ve been seduced by the lure of spectacle. Sure, I could juggle three or four balls and use...

Black holes are darker than magic markers, but not as black as my mood.

A photographer is like a cod, which produces a million eggs in order that one may reach maturity.

It’s in a can. It’s good forever.

Love is like trying to put out a fire with a pair of scissors. I have a thing for redheads with short hair.

Here’s a newsflash from the only High Preistess you have left at this dang school: Zoey isn’t dead. And believe me, I know dead. I’ve been there, done that, and got the frickin’ T-shirt.” –...

I’m still trying to decide how I feel about the fact that you knew about this before I did.””Don’t be disappointed,” Jack said. “The fact that I’ve been ridiculously proud of you for days doesn’t...

This world is nothing more than fresh white underwear, and I’m going to leave my mark on it.

A brick could be used to change the channel on a TV. Or at least turn it off—permanently.

If one door closes and another door opens, chances are your house is haunted.

This is going to be murder,” Fransic whispered to Mr. Trimes. “Pure murder.””I’m glad to see your confidence returning, Mr. Tucket. Just a few minutes ago you were ready to give up. Now you’re talking...

Seeing him jogging at the park had cracked the window so I could peek into his soul. Seeing him with his friends threw the window wide open.He was so nineteen.

Take my advice and don’t take my advice.

I am sorry the only outlet for her troubled mind was in clumsy foreplay with an inadequate partner.”He threw the rest of her sandwich at the swinging door as she passed through it.

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

When Scythrop grew up, he was sent, as usual, to a public school, where a little learning was painfully beaten into him, and from thence to the university, where it was carefully taken out of...

I saw my reflection in a glass, but I did not drink of myself. I’m thirsty for her love, not my own backwash.

Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy’s Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day’s work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city’s...

A brick could be used to help you get used to the fact that you’ve been used. I’ve been used to, so I know what you’re going through. You’re going through a dark tunnel, and...

I make love in the rain, alone, under an umbrella, because people in phone booths cannot be trusted. I hang my clothes up like I hang up a phone—long distance.

A blanket could be used to teach geography to a sleeping man. Better do it quick, before he wakes up and finds himself in the middle of World War III with no idea where he...

Quinn wanted to make her see that people didn’t live like this; but what was the use. No one was going to get her away from Bird Man out there.

Trying to remember a dream from a decade ago is like trying to catch fog in a coffee filter. I could subsist on morning mist.

Not really hungry.””She’ll eat.” Pritkin said curtly.”I said —””If you starve to death it would damage my professional reputation.””I eat plenty.””The same does not apply should I strangle you in understandable irritation, however.””I’ll have a...

A blanket could be used to stop a train. Another good thing to use would be brakes. I’ll sell you a set of train breaks for the price of a warm night’s sleep.

Yes, vanity is a weakness indeed. But pride – where there is a real superiority of mind, pride will be always under good regulation.

A brick could be used to help you write the book you’ve always wanted to write. That is, if you wanted to write a book on masonry with a target market of two—your parents.

Studies have shown that an ant can carry one hundred times its own weight, but there is no known limit to the lifting power of the average tiny eighty-year-old Spanish peasant grandmother.

The over-weight and out of shape guy who owned the house had apparently decided that having a half-million dollar house meant that he couldn’t afford to hire someone to clean out his gutters. Now he...

I’m looking for a man” Bree started.”Aren’t we all, dear? All I got’s bread and doughnuts, but they’re the next best thing””I don’t know about that .. well maybe doughnuts. I’ve lost my .. friend....

Man’s inability to get out of bed in the morning is a curious thing. One may reason with oneself clearly and forcibly without the slightest effect. One knows that delay means inconvenience. Perhaps it may...

A blanket could be used as one square on a giant checkerboard.

I mean, electric shock? Isn’t that a bit… electric shock-y?

Looking back, retrospectively on the events of that evening, I can see the irony — the shrink whose cat ate his own tail. At the time of the incident, however, humor was not in my...

If words had weight, a single sentence from Death would have anchored a ship.

Oompow,” which I would translate for you but it’s devastatingly embarrassing.

The idealist hopes. The romantic sees doom. The postmodernist sees doom and hopes.

Gue nggak menafikan ada hal-hal mistis di sekitar kita, tapi ada air bekas cucian keris yang bisa bikin awet muda, gue sama sekali nggak percaya. Bagi yang percaya, ya silakan aja. Di zaman teknologi serbacanggih...

Adieu, mon cher vieux. Relis et rebûche ton conte. Laisse-le reposer et reprends-le, les livres ne se font pas comme les enfants, mais comme les pyramides, avec un dessin prémédité, et en apportant des grands...

I don’t have any upper body strength, but that matches up perfectly with my lack of lower body strength.

A blanket could be used to fill the night sky with smoke, if you use it to suffocate the fire. And if you mess it up, I’ll use my hands to suffocate you.

Your wife is a big hippo! My face is melting! My face is meltinnnnggg!

If life is a game… I need new dice!

Where does love reveal itself? In beds, sofas, bathtubs – each section of a department store has its advantages.

Karşınızdakine katlanabilmek için onunla ilgili bazı şeyleri görmezden gelerek yaşamaktanbaşka çareniz yoktur. Tıpkı öpüşen iki kişinin buna devam edebilmek için o sırada on milyon ila bir milyar arası bakteriyi değiştiklerini bilmemeleri, ya da biliyorlarsa bunu...

I don’t know where people got the idea that characters in books are supposed to be likable. Books are not in the business of creating merely likeable characters with whom you can have some simple...

Love is like a corn-dog popsicle, and I’m on the Most Wanted list. Unfortunately it’s by the government, specifically the FDA, and not by women.

A brick could be used to attract a potential life partner. Yes indeed, and it’s how I met my ex wife. And the only reason she didn’t become my life partner was because I outlived...

Humanity’s a nice place to visit, but you wouldn’t want to live there.

To Mr. Blot, who went through life an unconscious example of the raison d’être of the British Empire, a shipwreck was merely one of the many things to be ignored. His was a calming influence.