How’d you get to be so good at this?””I had a good teacher.””Better not have been Myrnin or I’ll have to kick his predatory ass.””I mean you, dummy.””Oh.

He’s not doing anything he shouldn’t be doing, right?” “Like what?””Like hitting on you.””Ew. No, of course not. He doesn’t see me that way.” Michael shook his head and went back to his coffee.”What? You...

It’s bad enough I have to be trapped in a car with you children. You’ll do your best not to act like children.

See?” she heard Shane yell at the kitchen. “She doesn’t stomp around like a cattle stampede!””Bite me, Collins! No bacon for you, either!

It’s not your enemies who are likeliest to hurt you. It is, always, those you trust.

Shane: “Bro,” he said, in an injured tone, “I had to go out with a flamethrower, and you weren’t there to see it.” Michael: “Pics or it didn’t happen.” Shane: “Dude, little busy for pics....

Where’s your sense of adventure?” “Off on a beach somewhere with your sanity?

Hold on, Claire Bear! Next stop, Crazytown!

Just wanted to remind you that we’re out of milk again. And hot sauce.””Why are those two always out at the same time? Because those do not go together.””I suspect Shane. He’d put hot sauce...

Look, I hate good-byes, too. But sometimes, we need them just to survive.

Damn, there goes my chance for some hot sexy talk.

We’re clear,” she said. “You’re kind of a psycho. I get that

He started to touch the mechanism under the keyboard, then pulled his hand back with a snap.”Ah,” he said. “Must deactivate the security….Turn around, please.””What?””Turn around, Claire. It’s a secure password!””You have GOT to be...

Shane sat like a statue if a statue wore headphones and radiated angry coiled tension that made hair stand up on a person’s arms. She felt like she was sitting next to an unexploded bomb,...

I’m not obliged to defend your dignity. Provided you have any.

I drink blood, you eat tacos, get the f*ck over it!” -Michel Glass

Mirnin: Where’s Shreve?

You are just landmark stupid, aren’t you? Has Guinness called yet about that world record?

You come back to us or I swear, I’ll find you, dig up your stinky corpse, and kick its ass until it freaking disintegrates.

Funny how physics didn’t go away when you were murdered.

I can’t simply adopt strays because they seem winsome.

Great,” Shane said. “Look i’d rather not be on janitorial duty. I have allergies to cleaners.””And to cleaning,” Michael said.”Look who’s talking, Didn’t the do one of those Animal Planet documentaries about the roaches in...

Myrnin said softly. “And how is it that you do not understand that HERE, in THIS place, this girl belongs to me, not to you?

Vampires can hear us, anyway.

Oh — who’s the Queen?””Her, of course. The White Queen. You’re just like Alice, you know. Down the rabbit hole with the Mad Hatter.

„…And he doesn’t like you to call him Mr. McStabby, you know.””Have you ever seen him cutting up that meat? He is like an artist with slicing. And that knife is as long as my...

He’s not getting out of here again…But you don’t have to go all Marquis de Sade on him either. Just kill him or let me.

at least this way we’re safe in a room with a door that locks. And the sign says they have HBO.”That stands for Horrible Bloody Ohmygod.” Eve said. “which is the way they kill you....

Here,” Myrnin said, his voice still gentle and low. “Amelie said you had to work. No one said you had to work alone.” He picked up the next part and slotted it in, took the...

And without forgiveness, there is never any peace.

Your personal dignity was always more important to you than mere emotion, wasn’t it?

I seriously am.

Please. I am the queen of careful. Also, princess of punk fabulousness.

For now,” Amelie said. “Take her home. And — ” “Say nothing — yes, yes, I heard you the first seven hundred times,” Myrnin said, much too sharply. “I’m ancient. I’m not deaf. ” Amelie’s...

Well, I can throw a mean comeback, so there’s that. I will crush them on wit.

I know, not what you were expecting am I? Everybody says that. Including my own family.

At least you left out the oh-my-God sauce this time.””Made myself a batch with it,” Shane said. “It’s got the biohazard sticker on it in the fridge, so don’t bitch if you get flamed.

I think I’d fall for you no matter what, Claire. You’re kind of awesome.

Girl, we need to get you on a study program, fast. You’re not going to last a week around here if you can’t keep up with the pop culture references. How about Lord of the...

Because you’ve got guy parts, you’re automatically a better mechanic than me? I don’t think so,” Eve said, and bailed out of the passenger side.

Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don’t do them anymore.” Eve

If he had any kind of a clue, he wouldn’t be caught dead with that stuff. See what I did there? Caught dead? I crack myself up.” Eve sipped more coffee she probably, at this...

Don’t worry…Someone will pay for your suffering. Heavily. With screaming.

Are the two of you quite done with your sweet nothings? Because I might vomit.

Just because he’s a spider doesn’t mean he deserves any less concern!

Unfortunately, mortal life is very fragile, and very short. Yours could be shorter than usual.

Oliver: Fear is the natural state of anything that dies.

Does it give you deja voodoo how alike the houses are?””That’s deja vu, and I hate you right now.””For narcing on you to your mom? Wait until you hear what I tell your dad.”From the...

You’re kidding. I thought all geniuses read Latin. Isn’t that the international language for smart people?”-Shane (Glass Houses)

I just—we were talking, and we fell asleep. I swear, we didn’t, um—’’‘‘Yeah, you’d better not have ummed.