It’s easier to win an argument over a dinner you’re paying for.

I’d hang a walrus on my wall, and I’d name him Russ. But I’m not a hunter—I’m a lover and a fisherman. Dinner will be ready in ten minutes, if you want to take off...

I replaced my wife with an empty chair, so I wouldn’t be poisoned at dinner. And I’m still alive, so I’d say it was a genius tactical strategy.

I make love like I make dinner. I order take out.

One consequential change is that people used to get most of their calories at breakfast and midday, with only the evening top-up at suppertime. Now those intakes are almost exactly reversed. Most of us consume...

I had a dream about you. I smiled and you waved, and it’s unfortunate that neither one of these gestures was directed at each other. The person I was smiling at was the same person...

We made love like a goat has four legs like a table. If your dining room table can walk, it’s best to eat while sitting in wheelchairs.

I think I was first choice for the part. I don’t know – that’s what they always tell you anyway. I didn’t have to do any audition for the part. Sam saw me in Dinner...

That´s the problem with planning a late night supper after the opera, not only does the hero or the heroine die singing, but you end up famished after the last notes of the finale.

Let us embrace each other like we have the arms of two chairs. Let us dance like our legs are those of a table. We should do dinner sometime.

Some men eat dinner with silverware. Some use chopsticks. I prefer zippers.

I think Ian McKellen made it all happen, because he used to throw dinner parties and invite everyone over.

Do you mind if I use your bathroom? I haven’t made dinner yet.

I had some Mexican for dinner. Who knew cannibalism could be so tasty?

I love microwave dinners. I also like eating other appliances, like fridges and dishwashers.

I go to eat dinner with my folks when I’m home. I think that’s the trick.

Two become one when two are in love—or when the waitress asks about our dinner bill. I’ll pay next time, I promise.

Sex!” She must be one freaky nymphomaniac, because everything she says is carefully designed to get me thinking about sex.

I could just have chips and salsa for dinner every day.

Democracy was supposed to champion freedom of speech, and yet the simple rules of table decorum could clamp down on the rights their forefathers had fought and died for.

Dinner was a riot, but the food was bland, so I doused it with pepper spray. The chef wanted to protest, but he didn’t, because I had the pepper spray.

You made me dinner, so I made myself vomit—twice. Once to clear some room in my full stomach so I could eat, and the second time as an expression of what I thought about your...

Planning a dinner party in a way that you’re actually capable of getting it done without panicking is important. It’s bad hospitality for the host to be freaked out.

I prefer kissing over dinner. Not that I prefer kissing to dinner, but I prefer kissing over the plate containing my dinner, especially if my dinner consists of something romantic like monkey brains.

Falling in love is like falling into the arms of a starving cannibal. It’s the only time when dinner for two is dinner for one.

Dinner for two is dinner for one, when one of the two is a cannibal.

My brother never had me to dinner in his life.

I’d prefer going on a date with 10 women at once. Not only might I get a bulk discount at the restaurant, but it’s like a group interview. I think the ladies would appreciate my...

The three of us met to discuss dinner over sandwiches, and I decided I liked them. The sandwiches, not the people. I hated those fucking people.

I am different – if you can find another like me, then I will buy you dinner!

Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert.

I’ll just be sitting down having dinner with girlfriends or something and people come up and ruin the dinner.

Smaller plates discourage gluttony. But so does dining with dwarves.

Except for cases that clearly involve a homicidal maniac, the police like to believe murders are committed by those we know and love, and most of the time they’re right – a chilling thought when...

A circular table that spins around is a great way to make a romantic dinner for two with three people less awkward. I’ll pay for myself, I promise.

Early on I set out to write the next Great American Novel, and then later on I set out the silverware and enjoyed my dinner in silence.

Inviting the invading army over for dinner, buffet style, is a bad idea. Especially when I just took a bath in the last of your mac and cheese.

I had a dream about you, I was cooking dinner and you came out of the bathroom with a troubled look on your face. When I asked what was wrong you said “I have never...

I didn’t have enough money to tip the waitress, so I offered to take her out on a date, provided she paid for dinner. And picked me up.

Nine out of ten people agree, it was right and just to kill and eat that one guy. That’s love. That’s democracy. That’s a free dinner.

I did not wait to hear the end of my father’s story, for I had been with him myself after mass when we had met M. Legrandin; instead, I went downstairs to the kitchen to...

He methodically basted the dark skin of the Alsatian, which he had stuffed with garlic and herbs.”One rule in life”, he murmured to himself. “If you can smell garlic, everything is all right”.

Thirteen of us ate supper, and then one of us died. Unfortunately, he did not rise from the dead to pay his dinner bill. And he wasn’t the only one to skip out without paying,...

But if she could be here, she probably wouldn’t be here. But that won’t stop me from ordering for two, and if I can’t eat it all I’ll take the leftovers home so I can...

Your body is a Temple. You are what you eat. Do not eat processed food, junk foods, filth, or disease carrying food, animals, or rodents. Some people say of these foods, ‘well, it tastes good’.Most...

Her coming alone made me want to Mannequin all over myself, but I managed to contain myself like a microwave dinner. Sometimes love is frozen until you get off your sofa to take action.

third wheel,” I rode my tricycle to the restaurant where they were having their first date. I didn’t bring my wallet, so I hope they don’t mind paying for my dinner too. Ah, but that’s...

The living have love for the dead, but the dead have no love for the living. I ought to know, because I’d like the steak—medium rare—mashed potatoes, green beans, and a salad on the side....

Show me another pleasure like dinner which comes every day and lasts an hour.

My date couldn’t make it to dinner, because at the last minute I backed down from asking her.