A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

Knowledge is ignorance. I know so much that I know I know so little. I used to think your name was a synonym for love, but now I just don’t know.

You can think about gloves. You can think about snuvs. You can think a long time about snuvs and their gloves.

God, you’re sexy when you talk Psy.

Happy endings. *Groan*

Lead me not into temptation. I can find the way myself.

…It was like he waved his magic wang, and I totally forgot how I’m not a gullible teenager anymore.

That’s the whole trouble. You can’t ever find a place that’s nice and peaceful, because there isn’t any. You may “think” there is, but once you get there, when you’re not looking, somebody’ll sneak up...

I am a rebel! But I don’t want people to agree with my views, because if everyone agreed with me then I wouldn’t be rebellious anymore. Did you hear what I heard? Because I heard...

Rain Factory,” because he’s always either in a dark and stormy mood, or crying heavily.

You’ve always said I should have an inquiring mind,” she said. “I have. But not an interrupting one.

Baumauer secretly fears Kalist – and Kalist knows it.

It was also time to elect the president and VP of the OASIS User Council, but that was a no-brainer. Like most gunters, I voted to reelect Cory Doctorow and Wil Wheaton (again). There were...

Do not fall in love…..it means you have to look at someone else.

I’m feeling morass, when I should be feeling more ass. I can put my sadness behind me with what’s behind you.

We can’t be lovers because we both have mustaches. But since you’re a lady, and I’m a gentleman, I’ll shave mine off.

The picture is grainy. But that’s to be expected when photographing bread.

I don’t believe I’ve ever ingested anything quite so ancient,” Gareth murmured.

Fact: upon locking yourself our of your apartment you will immediately need to use the bathroom. Fact: and then you will stand in place and watch your door. You will just stare. As though rebuffed...

Trust is not hoping your partner will love you; it is KNOWING that they DO.

Even though I was fairly certain God wasn’t Ted Bundy, I kept an open mind, since this phone call was getting a bit confusing.

In great detail.

I often think about a life of crime. But alas, politics isn’t for me.

Friendship can be developed by building halls one-person wide and having people go through two at a time.

I’m taking a quick shower. I’m gross. I need to be clean.” “You shouldn’t be doing that.” The door handle jingled. It wasn’t locked. “Alex!””I’m naked,” I warned. Silence and then, “Is that supposed to...

What exactly does the I in FBI stand for?” ~Maggie Mae Castro

I’m seriously laughing

It kills me. The way he trusted. LIke the way we trusted before they came and blue the whole goddamned world apart. Trusted that when it got dark there would be light. Trusted that when...

I hate my life,” I said, and as I turned I conjured a ball of nightfire and threw it.

A country bumpkin doesn’t know bupkis about a kiss. I know, because I don’t even know what bupkis means.

I want an ocean job, but they’re hard to land.

Trav smiled his sweetest, most charming smile. “Of course I’ll play your husband on TV.”Daisy blew out a breath of relief. “Great! Thank you. I knew you’d understand.”She reached for the ignition to shut off...

The potatoes were starch grenades. The canned carrots were revolting because that is their nature.

pg. 231-232: They’d given me a minivan. They could have picked any car and they picked a minivan. A minivan. O God of the Vehicular Justice, why dost thou mock me? Minivan, you albatross around...

Crap, are you thinking what I’m thinking?””I’m thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood,” Claire said. “Is that it?””No, I was thinking we’re out of chips. Of course that’s what I was thinking.

How do two retards eat a turd sandwich? Well, not by first wiping their ass with wheat bread like I showed them.

I water fake plants, because I’m growing a garden of fake mustaches. Lest no man (or woman) question my ability as a lover.

I feel ill,” [Howl] announced. “I’m going to bed, where I may die.

When given the chance to see China off the beaten track, definitely take it.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him will believeth in anything. – Hitchens 3:16

I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.

Here,” Myrnin said, his voice still gentle and low. “Amelie said you had to work. No one said you had to work alone.” He picked up the next part and slotted it in, took the...

You’re only a man! You’ve not our gifts! I can tell you! Why, a woman can think of a hundred different things at once, all them contradictory!

My cat’s favorite sport is economics, and his favorite player is Ben Bernanke. But it’s just too violent for me to enjoy.

If the people we’re talking about are all my clones, then yes, I am a people person. I really do care. Ask me out or invite me in, and I’ll say yes—especially if you are...

Labor is a man crowning glory.””Not this man’s.””I quote Marx”I raised my hands. The pickaxe handle had been rough.”I quote blisters.

I want to be the best race horse around when I grow up, Mama.You can be, Charlie, as long as you are willing to try your best and not give up when you have a...

He’s going to jail. He can’t see. He can’t hear. He can’t take a leak that lasts under fifteen minutes. But he has an erection and all the other problems are small change. Next time...

At the very leadt, we can grab Monica and hustle her skanky ass back to her dad wile you brave, strong menfolk hold off the bad guys. Right?

I’ll use your chicken burrito as a crayon. I’ll draw what love looks like, if you promise not to eat it.