Meg’s face clouded, and I wondered if she was going to rain the way people do sometimes.

Everything I know about love, my cat taught me. It put its paw on my head and transferred all knowledge to me.

No decision has been made,” it’s a lie—because I have decided to remain undecided.

NI! Oh no! Not ni!

The brains of members of the Press departments of motion-picture studios resemble soup at a cheap restaurant. It is wiser not to stir them.

I once took a vow of silence that lasted almost two years. Then, on my second birthday, I relented and started talking.

A brick could be used as a book cover. Talk about hardcover!

Nobody knows anything…… Not one person in the entire motion picture field knows for a certainty what’s going to work. Every time out it’s a guess and, if you’re lucky, an educated one.

Skul-man!’ he exclaimed as he rushed forward to shake his hand. ‘Last I heard you were trapped on a dead world overrun by evil trans-dimensional superfiends!’ Skulduggery nodded. ‘Just got back.

My life story is 75% true. But which quarter is a lie? Better check my pants pockets—the one the politician’s wearing.

Love is a banana. First you peel it, and then you roll on the condom.

Bir ilk buluşmada kadın rahatça yemek yiyorsa, o erkeği çoktan elemiştir kafasında.

It must be awful to be on a team with a superstar, someone much better than everyone else. At least that’s how my teammates must feel about me. But who cares? They’re just my clones.

Who made you Queen of Literacy? Go sit in your car!

This was a few weeks ago,” Annabeth said. “Percy told me a crazy story about meeting a boy our near Moriches Bay. Apparently this kid used hieroglyphs to cast spells. He helped Percy battle a...

It’s not: I jumped in, and it was cold. No. It was cold, and I jumped in. Always arrange a sentence so you appear to be fearless, when in fact you are far less than...

I USED TOmake love.Now IMake coffee.

Rock ‘n’ roll is not red carpets and MySpace friends, rock’n’roll is dangerous and should piss people off

Yeah 220, 221 whatever it takes!” Michael Keaton character in “Mr. Mom

I’m a born-again atheist.

You’d think getting chopped into a million pieces and cast into the darkest part of the Underworld would give him a subtle clue that nobody wanted him around.

Great Listener Seeks Mute Woman.

It’s a fact that every minute you hold a child, it triples in mass.

He put his hand on his forehead and scoured the French department of his memory for a word. He knew it was in there. He’d put it in almost fifty years before and hadn’t had...

Loving Reading Hot Books w/ Hot Guys!!!#hotguys #goodbooks

When I was little, my dad used to tell me, “Will, you can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friends nose.

Beautiful people never lie.

I need a Caution: Slippery When Wet sign, because I just spilled my ego all over the floor.

I stepped in dick. Well, just a puddle of penis. Then I wiped it off my feet and voted it into political office.

Where is Wood?” said Harry, suddenly realizing he wasn’t there.”Still in the showers,” said Fred. “We think he’s trying to drown himself.

And I’m sure than in Poland, or somewhere, it is considered cool to drive a Porsche and wear necklaces and black silk, but at least back in Brooklyn if you did those things you were...

Remember, our kind protects you Normals from the Pures. We are the rope tied between man and super-beast. A rope forever dangling from the precipice. I tap Zetania’s shoulder and ask, “What’s a precipice?” “A...

Get your associates as fast as you can and then get a bachelors.””I don’t want that. I want to work in TV.””Trust me, Laura. You’d be happier if you were an accountant.

I’m not good at talking. Can’t I just nod my way through a conversation? It’s better than nodding off.

I had a dream about you. When our talks ended, we left off with leftovers. I stuffed our conversation in Tupperware, but you just left it out to rot and decompose.

What’s that?” he snarled, staring at the envelope Harry was still clutching in his hand. “If it’s another form for me to sign, you’ve got another -“”It’s not,” said Harry cheerfully. “It’s a letter from...

God, you’re sexy when you talk Psy.

Lead me not into temptation. I can find the way myself.

…It was like he waved his magic wang, and I totally forgot how I’m not a gullible teenager anymore.

It’s true—there are only, like, two songs about rainbows, including that one. He should be asking why there are so few songs about rainbows.

Have an itch? Simple—rub poison ivy over the rest of your body, so that all the skin contributes its fair share to a unified, and more hopeful, future. That’s top-level political thinking right there.

A word to the wise is infuriating.

You’ve always said I should have an inquiring mind,” she said. “I have. But not an interrupting one.

It was also time to elect the president and VP of the OASIS User Council, but that was a no-brainer. Like most gunters, I voted to reelect Cory Doctorow and Wil Wheaton (again). There were...

Do not fall in love…..it means you have to look at someone else.

Microwavable ice cream is the future. Don’t wait for love to melt all over your crotch. Scoop some Ice Cream Soup today.

I need love. Here’s a list of other things I need: eggs, butter, flour, and sugar. I’m making a cake for the woman I love—and another one for my lover.

I’m very pleased to see you, Harry, dear,” she said.

I don’t believe I’ve ever ingested anything quite so ancient,” Gareth murmured.

Trust is not hoping your partner will love you; it is KNOWING that they DO.