Some say love cannot be bought, but mine is available at this time for anyone with a good heart and the ability to use a photocopier.

Abracadabra, moron.

Kami,” he said, “you’re crying.” “No, I am not,” Kami lied. “I got something in my eye.””You got something in your eye.””Yes. Possibly a speck of dust,” Kami said, and broke down. “All right, possibly...

It is the east, and Juliet is a jerk!

Oh, you need Alan to betray Nick and then you’ll steal Nick’s powers and kill them both,” said Mae. “Great idea. Hey, can i come? I’ll bring a picnic lunch if you promise not to...

I-” said Nick, his voice halting. “I don’t mind it as much when – when people touch me. Some people.”Mae looked down, and Nick, who looked more relaxed when he’d been stabbed, slowly lifted his...

Friends don’t menace friends with giant terrifying swords, okay?

all fiction is better with explosions’ said Jared. ‘Basic fact of life.

Also, vampires don’t eat food. You never get to eat chocolate again. Ever. I’d rather die.

‘That Rusty,’ they say. ‘Charming and handsome,’ they say first, of course—they’re not blind. Then they add, ‘All the ambition and drive of a chocolate sundae.’

I saw you put rice in a toaster once,” said Mae. “I was there when made the tin of beans explode.””It was faulty,” Jamie protested, his eyes shifty. ” I am sure of this.

Alan: “I had terrible stage fright.”Sin: “I’m not familiar with the concept of ‘stage fright.'”A: “It’s pretty awful. You end up having to picture the entire audience in their underwear. Phyllis was in that audience,...

Sometmes when you pull knives on people, they get this impression that you’re going to hurt them, and then they’re completely terrified. Crazy, I know!””Okay,” said Nick. He turned to Jamie & popped his left...

I realise people exist who don’t read. But it’s like I knew there were people who didn’t breathe or eat: I can’t imagine a life like that.

I want to burn the world because Alan is gone,” he said. “I want to destroy everything I see. But you mean something to me. I will not destroy the world, because it has you...

When a guy says,’I’ll call you,’ and he doesn’t say when-that means he won’t call you.” Kit pulled his phone out of his pocket and pressed a couple buttons. My phone vibrated in my pocket....

You crazy girl. Other people name their children after their best friends. I am going to name my ulcer after you! I am going to be forced to drink milk and take antacids and abstain...

You’re dressed for dancing,” she said in her throaty stage voice. “Being undressed for dancing occured to me, but I didn’t think Merris would like it.

Want me to flex my magic for you, baby?

If good men pretend to be villains, how is anybody supposed to know the difference between them?

I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic.

Better overcautious than missing a jugular vein, as the saying goes.”That was a very morbid saying. Maybe only vampire said it.

Do you like him? Ty asked. “Not that I care.” “I do,” I said, because it was true. Even though it didn’t matter anymore. “Not that I care you don’t care. Though you clearly do...

Fear’s useless. Either something bad happens or it doesn’t: If it doesn’t, you’ve wasted time being afraid, and if it does, you’ve wasted time that you could have spent sharpening your weapons.

Okay, can you pass yourself off as a magician and gain Gerald’s trust and pass us information about Celeste’s plans and save all the magicians who want to be saved? Jaime asked. “Because if so...

Not really a party until someone brings the surprise zombies.

Well, speaking as a feminist, I’m glad that women can lead–uh, groups of unspeakable magical evil.””Yes,” Alan said gravely. “It’d be shoking if the evil magicians were sexist. For one thing, that would mean they...

Real life is sometimes boring, rarely conclusive and boy, does the dialogue need work.

She had worried she would break if her heart broke, but she wasn’t broken. She had lost everything, but she was not lost. It seemed a worthwhile thing to know.

Mae’s first impulse was to die of shame, but she realized after a hot, stomach-clenching moment that this was probably impractical.

Personally, I’d prefer a guy who wants to see my boobs.

And what are your interests and hobbies, Nicholas?” Annabel asked faintly, sounding like a cross between a television interviewer and a hostage. Nick considered this for a minute, and then said “I like swords.” Annabel...

Nick spoke for the first time. “Can I go to the nurse’s office too?” Ms. Popplewell looked at him It obviously took her only one look to decide. “No.””I’m traumatized too,” Nick claimed, his voice...

Maybe he likes the look of Mae,” Nick drawled.”Don’t be ridiculous.”Nick raised his eyebrows. “Does he like the look of Jamie?

I don’t trust men everybody likes. Being nice isn’t the same as being good.

She looked defeated, a castle stormed, torn down, with no one living inside. She looked like a hollowed-out creature, only shell and no soul.

Also,” Nick added curtly, “I’m sorry about your face.”Jamie looked over his shoulder, and touched the demon’s mark crawling along his jaw with the back of his hand. “Sorry about saving all our lives by...

I want to be hurt. I want to be in so much pain that I can’t think and I can’t remember why. That’s what I want. That’s all I want.

Ready?” Jaime echoed. “Yes, yes, I am ready. I am ready to drink a lot of liquids and lie on the sofa moaning faintly all day long. That is what I am ready for. I...

I don’t lie to you,” Alan said. “I lie WITH you.”Sin stopped looking up at him from under her eyelashes and burst out laughing.Alan went red. “So I’ve just realized how that come out. Uh.

You want useless, you have come to the right guy. I can be useless for hours at a time. Weeks even. I’m currently closing in on a month of being totally useless, which is by...

My life was going to flash before my eyes, but it decided to hide behind my eyes and quake with terror instead.

And you don’t ever have to worry about what I feel. The way I feel about you won’t change. You can do whatever you like to me. You could turn this town to dust, burn...

Forest deep, silent bellsThere’s a secret no one tellsValley quiet, water stillLynburns watching on the hillApples red, corn goldAlmost everyone grows old

I don’t think he likes girls”, I said. “Or boys. Look at the horror on his face. He doesn’t look like a people person.

Oh no, Nick” Jaime said in tones of supremely unconvincing shock, “how could you? When my back was turned for one momement. And my food was so delicious.

Alan: Conning people out of their savings. Forgery. Blackmail. Selling real estate on Mars. We could have it all. You with me, Bambi?”Sin: “Clive, I was with you from ‘I’m a social worker.

You are the greatest achievement of your own life.

Foul!” yelled Jamie, who seemed extremely happy not to be the one facing a blade. “Distracting technique! Put your shirt back on right now.

Every time he touched her, the touch felt new, like something they had just invented together.