People always switched on turn me off.

That’s art. Nothing is for everybody.

Life is short unless agony is long.

Every swamp has a silted lining.

If you only go around once in life, then why has that one gone around more than once?

90% of life is showing up. I’m staying home to wait for the other 10%.

On the plus side, life doesn’t add up.

I forgot what I was going to think.

My life is so bad that it’s worse than it really is.

I am not a Pessimist. Indeed I am not sure that I quite know what Pessimism really means. All I do know is that life cannot be understood without much charity, it cannot be lived...

Mom lied. The crust is the shittiest part.

The shot glass is half drunk.

Nice days are more unsafe. There are more of them.

The glass is completely full…of shit.

I’m all groan up in America.

With no positivity, there is no hope; with no negativity, there is no improvement.

Did not one spend the first half of one’s days in dreams of happiness and the second half in regrets and terrors?

This city belongs to ghosts, to murderers, to sleepwalkers. Where are you, in what bed, in what dream?

Someone who smiles too much with you can sometime frown too much with you at your back.

The mind is an intricate mechanism that can be run on the fuels of both victory and defeatism.

I assure you I am as optimistic as a pessimist can be.”-Fletcher

The best consolation in misfortune or affliction of any kind will be the thought of other people who are in a still worse plight than yourself; and this is a form of consolation open to...

Abby must have been the one who found the safe house, because Townsend didn’t like it.”The building across the street is under construction,” he snarled as soon as we’d carried our bags inside.”The elevator has...

I have produced no children of my own and my husband is dead,” she replied, an acid tone in her voice. “Thus I am more to be pitied than revered. I am expected to give...

Those might not be the very best judges of the relation of religion to happiness who, by their own account, had neither one nor the other.

There’s actually a sort of comfort in the belief that things can only get worse. It gives one an appreciation for the here-and-now, knowing that each and every moment may be as good as its...

It is surely unreasonable to credit that only one small star in the immensity of the universe is capable of developing and supporting intelligent life. But we shall not get to them and they will...

What New England is, is a state of mind, a place where dry humor and perpetual disappointment blend to produce an ironic pessimism that folks from away find most perplexing

If you expect the worst, you’ll never be disappointed.

If you are rude, cynical, habitually-sarcastic or pessimistic, your life options are going to be very limited.

Only one endowed with restless vitality is susceptible to pessimism. You become a pessimist –a demonic, elemental, bestial pessimist –only when life has been defeated many times in its fight against depression.

Should I go up one flight of stairs and then come back down, or should I go down one flight of stairs and then come back up? Same destination, same distance, same amount of work,...

I can’t can’t, but since I can’t, I clearly can.

To a pessimist, losing bobby pins is as hopeless as losing hair. To an optimist, losing hair gives hope to get the lost bobby pins back.

Masturbation = Imagination + Activity. Worry = Imagination + Negativity.

Human life is every where a state in which much is to be endured, and little to be enjoyed.

Turning and turning in the widening gyreThe falcon cannot hear the falconer;Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhereThe ceremony of innocence is drowned;The...

To claim that one can never live a positive life with a negative mind is a very negative claim to make!

Oh, that’s typical of you modern young men; you’ve nibbled at science and it’s made you ill, because you’ve not been able to satisfy that old craving for the absolute that you absorbed in your...

All you need, you think, is a breather, a few minutes standing up at the bar like in the old days, having a harmless bottle of beer. Only the bottle of beer isn’t harmless; it’s...

My glass is not only half-empty, I’m convinced someone spit in it.

He lived out his whole life as an anthem to the pleasures of a bad mood.

So desperate was Kugel for things to turn out for the best, proclaimed Professor Jove, that he couldn’t stop worrying about the worst. Hope, said Professor Jove, was Solomon Kugel’s greatest failing.

There is not much to be got anywhere in the world. It is filled with misery and pain; if a man escapes these, boredeom lies in wait for him at every corner. Nay more; it...

Some things are hard to imagine. Can you conceive of excessive contentment, for example? Or an over pleasant evening? Too much happiness?

Matthew Arnold was a fastidious social critic and hence an accomplished complainer. When he died, an acquaintance said: “Poor Matt, he’s going to Heaven, no doubt – but he won’t like God.

My fear of the future, she says, has not yet failed.

I can’t seem to be a pessimist long enough to overlook the possibility of things being overwhelmingly good.

I’m not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it’s Shakespeare who says that it’s always just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind...

Hatred becomes, within a given time, the hatred of society, then the hatred of the human race, then the hatred of creation.