Yes, I am.” I’m the kind of lover who’d wear a unicycle to a tricycle convention for hitchhikers.

Modern wife: A position thought to require great ambition to fill. After initially showing some skill at a maid service or department store, the husband takes her home to find that she has risen too...

I lay warm in bed like a melted marshmallow in a graham cracker. I really wish my blanket wasn’t so rigid and crumbly.

Intelligent life on other planets? I’m not even sure there is on earth!

A blanket could be hooked to ropes and attached to the body of a swimmer in training, to provide resistance and increase strength and endurance. Those very same ropes could be used to tie me...

Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.

I went to the priest for confession, but he didn’t do it.

Erm…I don’t know maybe for kissing me and tasting so damn delicious, maybe for holding my hand in public, maybe for looking far too hot in that sexy, snug tee when you should just be...

Sir Henry fixed him with a keen eye.’Odd name, Tom Skatt – eh?”Thats right”You don’t think we could be related?’Tom looked up at his great-great-great-uncle and smiled.’I don’t think so”No,’ grinned Sir Henry “no, of...

Parkour is non-contact.”I felt my face redden. How was I supposed to know all that guy crap?

I need a camera shutter on my penis hole. That way I could photograph political corruption from the inside.

Asked in 1919 whether it was true that only three people in the world understood the theory of general relativity, [Eddington] allegedly replied: ‘Who’s the third?

That’s all right,” she told him. “I can manage. I can sleep outside just fine.”Four pairs of eyes looked at her with a distinctly male skepticism.

If an apology is followed by an excuse or a reason, it means they are going to commit same mistake again they just apologized for.

We walked on the moon. We made footprints somewhere no one else had ever made footprints, and unless someone comes and rubs them out, those footprints will be there forever because there’s no wind.

I was shy,” said six-foot-one of bashful male. He grunted as a sharp, feminine elbow thudded inconspicuously into his side.

Gloves are condoms for the hands. My bare handshake might impregnate you.

The scientist believes in proof without certainty, the bigot in certainty without proof.

Show me a woman who doesn’t feel guilty and I’ll show you a man.

Story Content Warning: There will be angst, sex, a little rough language and rampant lesbianism. If this is not your cup of tea, don’t drink it. If you are not old enough to read this,...

In Jacksonville, there are more childrenless children than fatherless children. Barely. But that’s one bad thing that’s actually a good thing.

Though Alec had never seen the occupants of the first floor loft, they seemed to be engaged in a tempestuous romance. Once there had been a bunch of someone’s belongings strewn all over the landing...

The three of us made love like one of us was a voyeur. I was the only one using binoculars as a sex toy.

But you see, a rich country like America can perhaps afford to be stupid.

Screw sharks; a Transformer could be stretching up on its tippy toes and would still have a mile of cover to eat me.

I suggested she write down her thoughts” He said, “and, well, my daughter is a very thorough woman.””I can see that” Waxillium said.”I suggest that you never ask her to pass the milk” Wayne added...

Advice about love: When the green grape turns red, it’s time to separate the socks from the mittens.

Well, I’m sure there are people of Turkish origin wouldn’t want to do that, but external forces would try to influence the situation in Turkey.

I think we all should be in love once in our lifetime, even if we’re in love with someone who’s not alive in our lifetime. Long distance relations are hard, especially when you’re separated by...

I want to be a man of mountaintops: to scale the heights, achieve a sublime transcendence, and breathe in the thin air. Transcendence requires suffocation.

The thing we have in common is we both love to make love. Maybe one day we can merge our mutual interest and make love to each other.

always schedule your comeback.

My love is a flower. If you’d call that romantic, I’d agree and say it would look great on your grave.

She moved like water, graceful and soft and lovely. Every part of me wanted to stick out my foot and trip her, just to see her stumble.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

John Locke invented common sense, and only Englishmen have had it ever since!

Sounds like you kids have some talking to do. I’ll be eavesdropping from the kitchen.

I love to pull at people’s heart strings, but I’m no Nicholas Sparks.

I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don’t know I’m firing blanks.

Fifteen minutes later, Justin looks at his pint of blood with pride. He doesn’t want it to go to some stranger, he almost wants to bring it to the hospital himself, survey the wards and...

Neither sleet nor rain nor a half inch of snow will compel me to dress like a lumberjack.

While you’re singing something romantic, I can’t get the lyrics to ‘Love and Marriage’ out of my head, and that tune always reminds me of the jingle from Jeopardy.

As is perhaps obvious, Morris Zapp had no great esteem for his fellow-labourers in the vineyards of literature. They seemed to him vague, fickle, irresponsible creatures, who wallowed in relativism like hippopotami in mud, with...

I’m related to one. Can you believe that? It was bad enough thinking I was paranoid, going crazy or maybe just cursed, but to find out Gods are real and that I’m related to one…...

Yes it is” Eragon said before his courage left him “just like you

These werewolves and the gwrgi are not like the American breed of werewolf. They are not part timers. They do not spend the one, full moon, night in every twenty eight as a wolf or...

politician,” and must be destroyed.

A brick could be used to unite two long-lost brothers. They’ve been apart for six inches, and that’s entirely too long, and I think it’d be good to bring them back together.

I love that she loves me a 10, on a 5-point scale. Well, I know it’s a 5-point scale, though I asked her on a 1-100 scale.

A brick could be used to brighten up your day, like a lampshade over the sun dangling down over your dining room table. You’d better apply sunscreen to your ice cream or it’ll likely melt...