You know, bullying,” her mother began. “I see it every day. Kids get bullied at school, they get cyber bullied, text bullied, Myface bullied.” “Oh, God!” Arista groaned. “It’s My Space or Facebook. Not Myface.

Apparently officers are not ‘men’. Officers are ‘officers’.

He smiled wickedly, and my body warmed. “Girls dig bad boys.””Unfortunately, that’s true.””Is there a message, Bridge?””In your dreams,” I replied with a roll of my eyes, but it was all an act because there...

I tried picking my nose once, but I was too indecisive. I would tell you I love you, but I can’t decide if maybe I’m not really in love with your clone.

In a recent Valentine’s Day posting on her fan website, Britney Spears says that – oh, who cares?

Death doesn’t really worry me that much, I’m not frightened about it… I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

Let me tell you the one thing I have against Moses. He took us forty years into the desert in order to bring us to the one place in the Middle East that has no...

Dear sirs, The cold war isn’t over. When national borders fail, the epidermis is the last line of defense. We are counting on you.Sincerely,Patriot

I think he was especially happy because I used to kiss this boy in the neighborhood a lot when I wasvery little, and even though the psychiatrist said it was very natural for little boys...

I was short staffed. But that’s what happens when all your employees are midgets. I make love like spicy rice.

Isabelle: Do you want some soup?Jace: NoIsabelle: Do you think Hodge will want some soup?Jace: No one wants soupSimon: I want some soup!Jace: No, you don’t. You just want to sleep with Isabelle

There for a while we had a problem beating them here. It’s funny how everybody has found another thing to talk about.

Novels are written word by word. If you can write a word, and then another word, you can write a novel—assuming your novel will be two words long. Here’s a two-word romance novel: I do....

What is Hell like?” I blurted out before I could stop myself. Damn my curiosity. “You’ve never been there?” He eyed me suspiciously. Yeah, I went to Hell every summer for vacation.

Yours in demigodishness, and all that. Peace out!

When red fights with white, pink is always the winner. Let that be a lesson in love.

She already had a headache-she didn’t want to add ‘get tortured’ to today’s to-do list.

101 Reasons Why its great to be a woman : We have three times the amount of potential sick leave. Take into account all those days you are unable to work owing to pre, during...

Tag opened the door to his knock, and with a look of disappointment, peered behind Wade.”You got someone better coming over?” Wade asked him.”Pizza,” Tag said.

I suddenly realize that I’m naked, which shouldn’t bother me since it’s the phone, but for some reason it does. “How’s it hanging?” Kyra asks and now I think I’m blushing. It’s just an expression,...

I always want to go back and do stand-up; I like the freedom.

I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me.

I’m a fake fact factory. The things I make are the things I make up. Also, as a side business, I make love. Actually, I just made that up.

I’ve never felt so bereft and panicky. What do I do without my phone? How do I function? My hand keeps automatically reaching for my phone in its usual place in my pocket. Every instinct...

True love is rare, like a good steak. Help me cut it up.

Liberace was certainly master and commander of the ivories ~ he is the only pianist I can watch or listen to without suffering a case of ‘Stagefright Sympathy Sickness’.

A girl can dream can’t she? My new life plan is to stumble into every office of a CEO until I find a Christian Grey.

… they only trusted the wisdom of people brighter and more worldly than themselves when it was expressed in the vocabulary and style of rural idiots. In his guise as Brazenydol, he had once had...

I’m leaning toward the second choice. You are both getting way too weird. And gross.”Cal barked out a laugh and slid his fingers down my arm to entwine with mine. His touch, and Emma’s comments,...

Oh, but you do. I’ve even heard Jill talk about it. Did you know that’s the main reason she was happy about her room. Actually, she and Joshua thanked your Grandmother for putting you at...

That’s not normal.

I’m sure the other kids wouldn’t mind not being lectured by another toddler over the virtues of sharing and the mental benefits of toy blocks.

The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down.

You know, Sarah Jessica Parker. Sex and the City.”A silence fell over the room as Collin and Jack stared at Wilkins, seriously fearing for the fate of men.

I make love like farm equipment—not to farm equipment. There is a difference, though my cousin can’t tell it.

When you argue with someone, you always argue at the level of the person with the lowest level of intelligence. You never argue up.

A brick could be used to show support for your favorite team. They want to crush their opponents, and if you’ve got the arm strength and accuracy, you should do everything in your power to...

I had not, I said to myself, come into the future to carry on a miniature flirtation.

Shane looked…pale. Pale and shaken and—how predictable was this?—pissed.

People love to love, but I love to sleep, and that is why cats are closer to God than bricks are to blankets. –Cap’n Kintz

If I could fly, I would soar all the way up to the window of a plane carrying a suitcase in my hand, then I’d motion toward the plane’s door and make an annoyed face...

“Joss””What?””What?” Dylan asked back.”You just said my name.””No I didn’t””Sorry that was me.”I sat up, banging my head on the roof. “Who is that?””Hey, stay down here where the air is good, okay?” Dylan pulled...

A brick could be used in the back part of a director’s last name, to make an epic space odyssey.

Is he — a bit mad?” he asked Percy uncertainly.”Mad?” said Percy airily. “He’s a genius! Best wizard in the world! But he is a bit mad, yes. Potatoes, Harry?

I think you two clowns are funny – not ha-ha funny– but fucked-in-the-head funny! Now, if you two have quite finished doing your Laurel and Hardy impersonations, we’ve got a killer to catch!

Cover me!’ Augustus said as he jumped out from behind the wall and raced toward the school. Isaac fumbled for his controller and thenstarted firing while the bullets rained down on Augustus, who was shot...

My friend “M” says the irony of being a zombie is that everything is funny, but you can’t smile, because your lips have rotted off.

I can’t chitchat and make breakfast at the same time. You could help, you know, instead of standing there like the Queen of England. Although you’re a lot better-looking.

I’m telling you, the gorgeous of the world can actually look pretty intimidating when they scowl. Imagine a snow-white swan with a scary tattoo holding a chain saw. There’s just no way to really prepare...

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.