I felt like an animal, and animals don’t know sin, do they?

Are you sure this is a good idea?’ I ask.‘No,’ says Amber. ‘Let’s do it.

She whistled when she noticed my back. I assume because of my injuries. I mean, my ass just isn’t that spectacular.

A brick could be cast in Samuel Jackson roles. It would be cheaper and more dramatic.

will I achieve this?no way.that’s not acknowledging me.i am on wrong way.i accept.

Blankets could be used to stop exponential population growth. If we kept the people warm, maybe they wouldn’t try to heat themselves up through continual fornication.

If you put any effort into anything you do and have a strong sense of self to the point where you don’t even question your choices before you walk out of the house— you’re a...

I am pretty tenacious as a perfectionist in terms of getting something right.

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

We often hear that mathematics consists mainly of ‘proving theorems.’ Is a writer’s job mainly that of ‘writing sentences?

Would you like to sit?” Kellen asked her.”You’d better do it soon,” Owen whispered close to her ear, “or I’m going to bend you over that table and break the club’s no-penetration-in-the-lounge rule.

And certainly, the mistakes that we male and female mortals make when we have our own way might fairly raise some wonder that we are so fond of it.

Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.

Yes, I kidnapped that Lindberg baby.

When Eve ate the apple her knowledge increased. But God liked dumb women so Paradise ceased. Gwen Goodnight. Her Work.

Stomp stomp. Whirr. Pleased to be of service.Shut up.Thank you.Stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp. Whirr. Thank you for making a simple door very happy.Hope your diodes rot.Thank you. Have a nice day.Stomp stomp stomp stomp....

Sounds great,” she said flatly then made a gagging sound.

You and I have a love so secret that not even you know about it. But first, let me introduce myself.

Funyuns make you fart,” Caspian said, and I exploded in laughter.”What’s so funny?” Ben asked.I tried to stop laughing, but Caspian was leaning forward now, his face stck right in between us. “Funyuns give you...

Leave the cage open. If you love someone, give them a chance to leave. You can always lock them up again should they return to you.

In any given situation there will always be more dumb people than smart people. We ain’t many!

I am the washing machine of love. And if you have no idea what I mean, maybe it’s time to let some laundry into your life.

I watch the Eruptions. Mount Dad, long dormant, now considered armed and dangerous. Mount Saint Mom, oozing lava, spitting flame. Warn the villagers to run into the sea.

I’ve often wondered what makes a relationship last. I guess the best answer is it’s the one right after the next to the last one.

I think he fucked me stupid”- McKenzie Matthews- Being Beckett’s

Valkyrie walked to the back door, which hadn’t been closed properly, shut it and locked it. There was now a baby in the house, after all. She couldn’t take the chance that a wild animal...

A seven-figure civil suit?

I feel like I could be the best, but I’m not going to openly admit that. At least not to any of my clones.

Halt,” said Horace, “I’ve been thinking…”Halt and Will exchanged an amused glance. “Always a dangerous pastime,” they chorused. For many years, it had been Halt’s unfailing response when Will had made the same statement. Horace...

I called an insurance company to get a quote. They gave me one of Oscar Wilde’s best.

Ahhhhh!

It will never belong in a Hallmark card, but I drove a car into a house and killed a man for you. You chained me up for days and I still wanted to come back...

Which college?”Hmm?”Which college do you go to?’Fletcher nodded. ‘Yes.”I’m sorry?”Oh,’ Fletcher said, and laughed.Valkyrie’s parents looked at Fletcher in near bewilderment. Fletcher looked back at them in total bewilderment. Valkyrie shook her head.

And For You Zero, A Life Sized Vudu Doll”-Kaname Kuran”I DONT WANT IT!”-Zero Kiryu”HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”-Juri Elizabeth Marin

We rode the merry-go-round like a couple of lovers. We weren’t though; we were just two horse enthusiasts from two different worlds (I think she was from Mars).

Do I look like the kind of person who wastes time turning goats into pin cushions?

If you’re trapped in the dream of the Other, you’re fucked.

I do not know what it was about that boy but just looking at him, even I wanted to clout him on the head. It was a head that invited violence.

The great William Shakespeare said, “What’s in a name?” He also said, “Call me Billy one more time and I will stab you with this ink quill.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor’s office was full of portraits by Picasso.

No day of my life passes without someone saying the words ‘Monty Python’ to me. It’s not bad.

It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Apropos of Eskimo, I once heard a missionary describe the extraordinary difficulty he had found in translating the Bible into Eskimo. It was useless to talk of corn or wine to a people who did...

Yes, fuck Christina. I think she’d like that.

I want to keep a human mouth on my coffee table. It’ll be a great conversation starter.

My gun turned back into a pumpkin.

Most fools drink after one another, from a thinking cup that is empty. But I only drink after people whose cups are filled with a fluid to fascination ratio of nearly 1:1.

Earthquakes were extremely uncommon in this area. A dragon and a unicorn playing tag wasn’t.

Sometimes I feel like the tenth dentist in the 9 out of 10 dentists surveys.

The magician stood erect, menacing the attackers with demons, metamorphoses, paralyzing ailments, and secret judo holds. Molly picked up a rock.