I knitted a sweater to look like a swimming bird, and pretty soon the whole world looked like it tasted like duck soup. My love is coffee-shaped and without chug.

I lied. I do that, you know, when it suits me. I would have thought you’d realized that by now.

The ice cube melted slowly like a candle, and I thought about my love for her and how it was like an ice cube candle and that I’ve always wanted to drink fire and make...

It can be rebuilt if other countries with selfish interests will not meddle, as has been done in the past.

I am passionate about creating, not about procreating. My love for art is greater than my love for making love.

A brick and a blanket together create a blick. That’s it. That’s all I got.

I need a tube-shaped bathtub, to play the tuba in. I make love like I make music—in a shower that’s in a phone booth that’s in 1981, the year before I was born.

The x-ray of your skull shows a large, flobby mass floating inside. I have to consult my colleagues to be certain, but it looks like a long sausage snarled into a lump.

Yep those are goosebumps. Or a bad case of arm acne. Or as I call it, armcne.

The doctor seemed especially troubled by the fact of the robbery having been unexpected, and attempted in the night-time; as if it were the established custom of gentlemen in the housebreaking way to transact business...

Don’t be rude!” Boomer protested. As if the cookie might be offended.

Miss Vida” Liam said “has anyone never told you that you are positively the whipped cream on the sundae of life?”She glared at him.”Anyone ever told you your head is shaped like a pencil?””That is...

Sheep hurt my father, and through my father, sheep have also hurt me.

I have to return some videotapes

She had no idea how long they kissed—and kissed—but she didn’t think about stopping until she ran out of air. Breathing hard, she slowly opened her eyes and stared directly into his.They’d heated. Darkened. And...

I thank God daily for the good fortune of my birth, for I am certain I would have made a miserable peasant.

I asked my girlfriend, ‘Will you marry me?’ She said, ‘We’ll have to ask my father.’ So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, ‘Hello!’

…it’s just another one of those things I don’t understand: everyone impresses upon you how unique you are, encouraging you to cultivate your individuality while at the same time trying to squish you and everyone...

If you’re a cannibal, an Olympic sprinter would be considered fast food.

What are you two gay boys doing in there?”Aaand done.–Dex

I had to admit it was adorable. You know, in a unicorns-farting-out-rainbows kind of way that made me want to hurl.

If the retreat house was a trap, it was a very nice one.

I’ve done this sort of thing before. Not prophecies so much, but you’d be surprised how many people want to realign their ancestral lines to seem nobler, or rewrite their family history to remove more...

Ukitambua vitu vya muhimu katika maisha yako hapa duniani na kuvipa kipaumbele cha kwanza, ukatumia kipaji ulichopewa na Mungu na ukafanya kazi kwa bidii na maarifa, halafu ukashindana na wenzako kuwa juu zaidi katika tasnia...

A brick could be used to create a new society, a perfect society, where there is no inequality, there are no laws, and most importantly, there are no people.

We had an unspoken love for one another. Probably because she’d never talk to me or return my phone calls or texts.

A blanket could be used to rob a bank. Guns are so Bonnie and Clyde, but a blanket bank robbery has a certain amount of seduction involved. A blanket has a lot more banging involved...

I wish I had only offered youa sovereign instead of ten pounds. Give me back nine pounds, Jane; I’ve a use for it.”And so have I, sir,’ I returned, putting my hands and my purse...

A blanket could be used to sail with the wind. That wind is provided by my ceiling fan, and my boat is my bed. Why don’t you come over, and I’ll teach you the art...

Exactly.

We were kissing.I thought: This is good.I thought: I am not bad at this kissing. Not bad at all.I thought: I am clearly the greatest kisser in the history of the universe.Suddenly she laughed and...

I know what dissipate means, Arty. I’m not three, for heaven’s sake.

I took a bite of lobster meat with rice. It was quite tasty. ‘Arguing the morality of slaughter will send you into a tailspin of self-loathing every time.’ ‘Unless you’re a vegan.’ ‘Uh-huh. But then...

A blanket could be used to stop gun violence. Make sleep, not war.

A fart in the face is love.

A blanket could be used for anti-population-control purposes. Get naked and get under the blanket and I’ll show you how it works.

Rather than Dick Tracy characters that you laugh at and find funny but don’t relate to, (you have) real characters, more relatable to the audience.

Do I have to?

Are you suggesting by that ‘our’ that you and I will have mutual grandchildren? Fie, Mrs. Kennedy!

The possession of facts is knowledge; the use of facts is wisdom; the creation of facts is covert action.

A brick could be slid on a wood floor, like a rolling bowling ball, in an attempt to fill the seconds between swallows of beer.

Normally I’d run off in the other direction when faced with a man wearing what were essentially pyjamas to work, but this time… well, they matched my boxers.

They are not grey roots! This is my new fifty shades of grey OMBRE hairstyle!

A brick could be used to deny you your dreams. And a blanket could be used as a gateway to all your dreams.

And there were carved hearts in the trunks of trees with the initials of couples who felt there was no more romantic thing they could do to celebrate their love than scar the local plant...

By the power of the Tri-Force, I command you to “——-

A blanket could be used to confuse and disorient. Think of it not as a bed adornment, but as a really big blindfold.

Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!

He laughed, a big, open-mouthed laugh that made her think of words beginning with the letter O.

A blanket could be used to understand Understanding. At least I think so. The process is complicated, and really hard to understand.