There is a correlation between the number of days since a man last had sex, and, the number of things that he is willing to do for a woman.

When your mother is the grave and your father is a lightning bolt it tends to make you kind of horny. And death has a way of removing one’s inhibitions.

Hard-ons don’t make you think less. They make you think stupid.

I had begun to think my ripening body would wither untasted on the vine.