You are hard at work madam ,” said the man near her.Yes,” Answered Madam Defarge ; ” I have a good deal to do.”What do you make, Madam ?”Many things.”For instance —“For instance,” returned Madam...

Look, Sage. I don’t know much about chemistry or computer hacking or photosynthery, but this is something I’ve got a lot of experience with.” I think he mean photosynthesis, but I didn’t correct him. “Use...

If you take away my office, how will I get no work done?

Life is sweet absurdity, Sir Wizard. Laugh your way through it.

If you rest, you rust.

It’s easier to start writing if you have something to write about, rather than staring at a blank screen thinking about nothing because you’re trying to think about everything. Try writing about love. I’ve proven...

My sister having so much to do, was going to church vicariously, that is to say, Joe and I were going.

L shot Maki a disappointed look. But soon he forgot everything when Misa Amane appeared onstage. Enraptured he began to cheer with the girls in black lace and frilly skirts.

Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them…well I have others.

Love Is How You Dress

Last night I slept like a baby. In a crib.

While getting a haircut, I thought about my failed marriage. Instead of feeling bad, I thought I’d grow a beard, move to the mountains, and start over.

The history books which contain no lies are extremely tedious

I used my history degree about twice a year whether I needed to or not.

Like pets, I name my leftover food. Only I name them all after myself, partly so my coworkers won’t eat them in the fridge, but mostly out of vanity.

It’s early on a beautiful winter morning. The house is quiet. The sun is shining. I’m thankful. I’m happy. My cup runneth over. Now there’s coffee everywhere.

If you think my current job is boring, you should see the sleeper I did before. (I worked as a mattress salesman.)

Taste my tears and tell me I don’t have the saltiest love you’ve ever licked. My love for you is like a liquid potato chip.

… my heart skips a beat. Seriously, like a CD from the public library, it goes ZZebbTTT and skips.

Sure looks like that’s working out well for you,” I say, piercing him with a scornful look.

I mined my clone’s thoughts. I hope he doesn’t mind.

Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you.

If I ever meet myself,’ said Zaphod, ‘I’ll hit myself so hard I won’t know what’s hit me.

It has often been saidthere’s so much to be read,you never can cramall those words in your head.So the writer who breedsmore words than he needsis making a chorefor the reader who reads.That’s why my...

What’s the good of living if you don’t try a few things?

I think you mother has Asperger’s,” Georgie had said to Neal.”They didn’t get Asperger’s int he ’50s.””I’m just saying maybe she’s on the the spectrum.””She’s just a math teacher.

Christ Jesus Eve, I love you.”–Eve, Roarke

She’s on the stairs, ma’am, getting her breath,’ said the young servant, who had not been long up from the country, where my mother had the excellent habit of getting all her servants. Often she...

Can’t stand all these poisonous creatures, all these snakes and insects and fish and things. Wretched things, biting everybody. And then people expect me to tell them what to do about it. I’ll tell them...

I need more frugality. I wonder where I can buy some.

There must be something wrong with those people who think Audrey Hepburn doesn’t perspire, hiccup or sneeze, because they know that’s not true. I n fact, I hiccup more than most.

Well, bloody noses.” I hug his coat tighter. “Those are definitely hot.

My sister, Judy, has always said that she would like to lie in state, propped up in her coffin with her eyes blared wide open, face fixed in a big grin, and have a taped...

It does no good to bark at the television,I said. I’ve tried it too. So he stopped.

Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There’s a frood who really knows where his towel is.”(Sass: know, be aware of, meet, have sex with; hoopy: really together guy; frood: really amazingly together guy.)

Instead of mascots, there should be mass cots, because these sports fanatics are intellectually asleep.

Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win! Calvin: You win? Aaugghh! You won last time! I hate it when you win! Aarrggh! Mff! Gnnk! I hate this game! I hate the whole world! Aghhh! What a...

I used to work at the unemployment office. I hated it, because when they fired me, I had to show up to work anyway.

What’s the difference between praying and crying? One you’re talking to God, and the other you’re talking to God but you don’t know it.

Coming into your powers can be a very confusing time. Perhaps there is a book on the subject. If you like, we can go see Marian.”Yeah, right. Choices and Changes. A Modern Girl’s Guide to...

I came from a broken home. My bedroom window was cracked.

I don’t like breakfast, because I like things fixed and slow. Let’s just take our relationship morning by morning.

A large proportion of mankind, like pigeons and partridges, on reaching maturity, having passed through a period of playfulness or promiscuity, establish what they hope and expect will be a permanent and fertile mating relationship....

This paper, by its very length, defends itself from ever being read.

The profit was five, split evenly between the two of us, which meant that my fair share was three. (2.5 rounded off is 3.)

Yo Mama’s so old, her memory is in black and white.

I sent a message silently, through body language and body odor.

I went to a wake, but I wasn’t awake. I was asleep, not dead.

Baumauer wants a life in which he cannot be belittled, judged or controlled by worse men.

You will be so dead, dear Sister. Make telpon dari tadi kayak Kroasia ada di sebelah Jakarta aja. Huahahaha