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Kevin Hearne  Quotes
Yer a good lad, Atticus, mowin’ me lawn and killin’ what Brits come around.

—Kevin Hearne

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BritishDeath
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The color palette is confined to that of a Gustave Dore’ engraving, greys and blacks, and subtle shadings of these rendered in harrowing crosshatches and highlighted with sudden glaring areas of nothingness, like splotches of...

—Kevin Hearne

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ColorDescriptionGreat-Prose
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She’d made life poignant for the Irish. The terror she inspired gave peace its serenity; the pain she caused gave health its lustre; her failure to love made me grateful for my ability to do...

—Kevin Hearne

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BalanceDeathLove
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When he said to give him the sword, I don’t think he meant for you to stick it in his guts.

—Kevin Hearne

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DeathGiveSword
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Not everyone can be bribed with meat, Oberon.” “They Can’t? Oh! you mean they’re vegetarian.””No, they eat meat. It just doesn’t sway their decision making process.” “Well that… that’s just wrong, Atticus!Are they Monsters? It’s...

—Kevin Hearne

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Dog-SenseDruid-SenseEthics
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For me, the times I always regret are missed opportunities to say farewell to good people, to wish them long life and say to them in all sincerity, “You build and do not destroy; you...

—Kevin Hearne

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FarewellFunny-But-TrueInsightful
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Peace be with you,” I said, and as I turned to resume my journey with Coyote, I added under my breath, “and asskicking be with me.

—Kevin Hearne

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HumorWar
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The point is, Mrs. MacDonagh, that the universe is exactly the size that your soul can encompass. Some people live in extremely small worlds, and some live in a world of infinite possibility.

—Kevin Hearne

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AtticusHoundedUniverse
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The essence of Druidry is training the mind to both handle contradictory input and construct contradictory output.’ What? Oh. Well– ‘I continued to lecture a bit more, to disguise the fact that I was getting...

—Kevin Hearne

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Contradictory-InputPoliticians
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And there were carved hearts in the trunks of trees with the initials of couples who felt there was no more romantic thing they could do to celebrate their love than scar the local plant...

—Kevin Hearne

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FunnyNature
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Druids were supposed to be forces of preservation, not destruction, and I could not dance around the fact that my stupid pride had turned me into a misbegotten cockwaffle.

—Kevin Hearne

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DruidsPride
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They are politicians?

—Kevin Hearne

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LiarsPoliticians
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There were times when I was blown away by the virgin beauty of the land. Kind of like that guy who lost his shit on the internet at the full double rainbow across the sky....

—Kevin Hearne

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GaiaNature
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I forgot how good it feels to be rooted. And to be rooted is not the same thing at all as being tied down. To be rooted is to say, here I am nourished and...

—Kevin Hearne

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BlessingHomeRooted
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announce [our] presence with authority.

—Kevin Hearne

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BaseballBull-DurhamEbbie-Calvin-Nuke-Laloosh
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Turns out that once you kill a god, people want to talk to you. Paranormal insurance salesmen with special “godslayer” term life policies. Charlatan’s with “godproof” armor and extraplanar safe houses for rent. But most...

—Kevin Hearne

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FantasyGood-HumorHyperbole
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But there was no going back to that idyllic time when only one god wanted to kill me.

—Kevin Hearne

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Druid-SenseIronySarcasm
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Off y’go, then. Kill every last one o’ the bastards and call me in the mornin’.

—Kevin Hearne

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DruidIrishMagic
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Saying good-bye properly afforded me a measure of peace. It was a binding of a different sort, absent of the earth’s power, but still hard proof that there is magic yet in the world.

—Kevin Hearne

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GoodbyesMagic
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come humans, fulfill your evolutionary purpose adn build your hound a fire.” Oberon

—Kevin Hearne

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Dog-SenseHumorSarcasm
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Morrigan “What are guilt ferrets:”Atticus “They’re bastards. They cling to your neck and tickle and bite and generally make you miserable, which is a pretty good trick for a metaphor.” They were also impervious to...

—Kevin Hearne

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Guilt
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It’s not polite to ask if a man has a big salami in his pants, okay?

—Kevin Hearne

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Dirty-TalkHumorous
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When you’re driving, you don’t focus on everything at once, but you have peripheral awareness of it, right? You focus on what you need to at any given moment, whether it’s the car in front...

—Kevin Hearne

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DrivingFocus
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Bring it, muthafuckas. Bring it.

—Kevin Hearne

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Bring-ItFightHamlet
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You don’t even know if she really likes you, Oberon said as we exited and I unlocked my bike. She could be doing her customer service routine and stringing you along in hopes of a...

—Kevin Hearne

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HumorousOberon
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Gods can screw anything and anybody. For reference, see history.Atticus O’Sullivan

—Kevin Hearne

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IronyStating-The-Obvious
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The answer to enemies who heal annoyingly fast is always, always decapitation. That is why swords will never go out of style.

—Kevin Hearne

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FightingHumorSwords
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No. See, when you throw up you’re vomiting, but when you throw down you’re starting a fight, as in throwing down the gauntlet.””Ohhhh,” he said. “I thought you were speaking literally.””I do beg your pardon....

—Kevin Hearne

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FightingFigures-Of-SpeechHumor
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Jesus “…It sounds like these guys would be filed under Assholes Who do Evil Shit in My Name.

—Kevin Hearne

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Good-HumorIronyUnderstatements
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No matter how old I get, I keep running into people who are smarter, nobler, and kinder. I really ought to start listening to them and telling my pride to shut up. I had gods...

—Kevin Hearne

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GrowthPride
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May harmony find you” Atticus

—Kevin Hearne

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BlessingsHarmony
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