Duke!” and the bartender threw me out, because he was a Chapel Hill fan, and I was drunk.

The Albion was a spacious pub, built in the days when a public house with any pretensions to gentility had to have fourteen foot ceilings, brass taps and a polished wooden bar you skate down....

Can I get you a drink?” Both mustaches turned towards each other but said nothing, because they’d each left their mouth at home.

Am I making something worth while?I’m not sure.I write and I sing and I hear words from time to time about my life and choices making ways, into other lives, other hearts,but am I making...

Our nada who art in nada, nada be thy name thy kingdom nada thy will be nada in nada as it is in nada. Give us this nada our daily nada and nada us our...

I left Mermaid’s Bar and Grill about 2:00 am, and fishtailed out of the parking lot.

‘Cheers’ was great. They paired me up with Shelley Long on this tiny bar set for the final audition. That was my first really big one, and we just clicked instantly – I still think...

The French Revolution was the best thing to ever happen inside a croissant the shape of the Fertile Crescent, with a flaky crust like a politician with dandruff.” Of course, when Orafoura told me this...

I rarely drink, but last night, after several hours and several beers at the bar, I found myself face to face with two huge boobs. They weren’t the breasts of a young woman, but those...

I was a fool, alone, preparing to do what every fool did at such times—I was going to a bar to drink myself smart.

I met my girlfriend at a bar. But I broke up with her because she was already there, hitting on another guy.

I go down to the dive bar around the corner when I go out. I don’t go to the showbiz parties.

The honky-tonk bartender, who doubled as bouncer, waiter, and cashier, was in no mood to compromise. Mercy was not in him. He came out around the open end of the long counter, waddled threatening across...

A tickle, an itch, and a scratch walk into a bar while I was in the corner drinking a thermos full of epidermis, and I thought, this must be what love feels like.

The world is like a bar, we all fill our glasses the way we can.

No matter how obstacles may “play” you over the bar, you will be able to assume your shape when your passion is always intact. You will not burst!

So the first job that I got – my father got it for me – he had his clerical collar on, was a gay bar in D.C., it was Mr. Henry’s of Georgetown.

The door is crackedWe used to meetlike water does landnonot thatmore like when skin touches skinkissing fingertipsor when air escapes a lung and is felt across the worldI’ve leapt over cracks in sidewalksand swallowed away...

There’s nothing more annoying than a man ordering wine at a bar when you’re not eating.

When I pass the bar, you’ll be barred from bars but put behind them.

You may hit the bar, you may cross the forbidden line, you may cause many fouls, but when you stay on, you will definitely get your goals being the winning goals…

I staggered into a Manchester bar late one night on a tour and the waitress said “You look as if you need a Screaming Orgasm”. At the time this was the last thing on my...

I never had a childhood. Not like the rest of them anyway. I had a starting point from which I have never stopped running.

I try to tell a story the way someone would tell you a story in a bar, with the same kind of timing and pacing.

Sully’s, on South Prospect, was the quintessential biker-bar, complete with hefty, leather-clad Harley worshippers, and stringy-haired heroin-addicted women who made the rounds among the bikers. Its décor was decidedly Medieval Garage Sale, with a dose...

You are heading towards the top if you raise the bar of your standards inch by inch each hour! There is no quick way to success; it comes in installments. Every day’s activity is a...

I had a dream about you. We were going to change the world. But instead you changed your clothes and changed your mind about going to the bar, so I ended up crying on your...

I ordered a beer and then I ordered another beer, because why finish one when I can finish two? Having only one is great for love, but bad for beer.

My first waitress job was at Johnny Rockets in New Jersey, and then I waited tables at a sports bar.

Information had become a critical tool that you can use to raise your bar across every barrier towards excellence. Deny this fact and maintain your bar wherever it was without even a millimeter lift.

I snorted powdered flamingoes while I pondered love. I sat at the bar two hours waiting for my ice on the rocks to melt so I could drink it and leave, but it was like...

The one plentiful herds of magazine writers would continue to be culled – by the Internet, by the recession, by the American public, who would rather watch TV or play video games or electronically inform...

Lincoln, steeped in the Bible and Shakespeare, set an impossibly high bar for presidential prose.

Hi ladies, Hi Girls…, If you don’t add more knowledge to what you already know, you may be a virgin but may not raise your bar! Go, get extra oil!

A kind of joyous hysteria moved into the room, everything flying before the wind, vehicles outside getting dented to hell, the crowd sweaty and the smells of aftershave, manure, clothes dried on the line, your...

A father and son walked into a bar, and the bartender didn’t serve either because the one didn’t look old enough. And he was right. Who becomes a dad in middle school?

We named the bar The Bar. “People will think we’re ironic instead of creatively bankrupt,” my sister reasoned.Yes, we thought we were being clever New Yorkers – that the name was a joke no one...

Never dilute vodka. Is sin.

The first permanent structure in Jacksonville was a school/saloon. It was built by the Irish.

I’ve had a bris, was Bar Mitzvahed and, on occasion, have referred to a temple as a shul. I’ve never denied it, nor have I disguised it. I am, indeed, a Jew.

Three men walk into a bar. The third guy’s name is 333. The first guy’s name is The Second Guy, and the second guy’s name is I’m Not Lying. One of these men is not...

With such luck as this, he rode the beast in the jaunty way that she deserved, back north, seemingly back from Mexico, pulling up finally at an outlying bar-ex-saloon (they had covered the old adobe...

The whiskey was a good start. I got the idea from Dylan Thomas. He’s this poet who drank twenty-one straight whiskeys at the White Horse Tavern in New York and then died on the spot...

I got hit on at the bar last night, and this morning I have a black eye. Sometimes you can be so sexy that you offend, I guess.

Sometimes what I wouldn’t give to have us sitting in a bar again at 9:00 a.m. telling lies to one another, far from God.

I found a bra in a bar. Guess when? Anagram Night! It’s the one day of the year that’s truly for lovers. It’s also for a solver.

Break away from the box confining you. Positive dreamers do not follow the status quo. They keep raising the standard of the bar higher and higher. Raise the bar.

Man, Dick Dale shreds. He’s welcomed to anybody’s bar mitzvah.

A wink and a smirk walk into a bar, and the bartender asked them what they were drinking, when all of the sudden a mustache in a cowboy hat riding a vagina runs through the...

Need ‘nether whiskey. Whiskey chaser. Gotta get two men drunk.’Mr. Cohan placed both hands on the bar. ‘Mr. Walsh,’ he said severely, ‘in Gavagan’s we will serve a man a drink to wet his whistle,...