The pimple is perfect.

Show me the contract.

It’s a great day to write a best-seller.

I’m trying to give my character voice but he won’t speak.

One day comes after another and another and pretty soon you realize that yesterday was pretty damn long ago and that everything you had hoped for is never going to happen. You can’t control it...

A cliffhanger is when …

Grammar, you’re the pickiest noun I know.

I’ll pray for good semen. And I’ll get all of my friends to pray for good semen.

Climax: It’s all downhill from here.

I love Edit. He gives me tons of second chances to make things just right between us.

A tweet a day keeps writer’s block away.

Sometimes the writing just comes and we’re like, oh yeah. Gotta love when that happens.

As I drove out the wrought iron gates I had entered, I noticed for the first time how intricate and beautiful they were. They were forged by hand so many years ago and had stood...

Caught red-handed for exclamation abuse.

Write on!

Writers see the world differently. Every voice we hear, every face we see, every hand we touch could become story fabric.

I loss Muse!

The power of the delete key.

The best kind of day is a writing day

Writer. Another word for poor.

I don’t do math.

I was just thinking that he might be willing. It’s not like he needs his semen.

Me to characters: talk to me people.

Me to Comma: I will never get use to you wanting to butt your way into my sentences — even if you’re right.

If you see it in Strunk and White it’s so.

The sight washed over me like a damn wave that you never see coming until it’s too late and you’re face down eating sand.

I’m in love with writing, but sometimes I swear it hates me.

Three words for a writer: Make me care.

Hey Revision. You can be a pain but you do make Book better.

Yes, I prosecute bastards like him, make them pay for what they did to innocent victims who can’t fight for themselves. And every time I win a case, I not only win for the victim,...

Good editors are priceless.

that you put a banana down your pants and walked up to the Palma-nator. It looked like you had one hell of a hard-on.

Rejection. Rejection. You can’t handle rejection!

You deserve good sperm. You’ve waited a long time.

If I write as well as I golf, I’m in trouble!

I wear the writer pants in the family.

Conflict. Conflict. Where art thou conflict?