I wanted the apartment, and I figured I could cover him up with a bookcase or something.

Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.

A bunch of bad songs, make an awful whine.

Ilenia era stata una loro compagna di liceo. Single convinta da due anni e precisamente da quando aveva beccato Fabrizio, il fidanzato storico, a letto con “Robin Hood”. Ovvero con un altro uomo completamente nudo,...

Always mystify, torture, mislead, and surprise the audience as much as possible.

You’re one of the lucky ones.

My advice for a healthy life: love, laugh, and pee in the shower. High school class reunions would be better if divided by gender and held in the locker rooms.

Having a clone to bounce ideas off of would be a way to generate more ideas. Another way would be to build an idea generator that plugs into a wall socket and works only when...

You can’t give her that!’ she screamed. ‘It’s not safe!’IT’S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY’RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.’She’s a child!’ shouted Crumley.IT’S EDUCATIONAL.’What if she cuts herself?’THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON.

Old age is not just for grown up’s

The main bridge of the original Starship Enterprise had pictures of galaxies above each workstation. Probably in case the ship got lost.

Nothing says work efficiency like panic mode.

Marcus and Ellie exchanged a worried look and examined the bag again. Sure enough, the gold was gone.

Virginia isn’t for lovers. Vagina is for lovers. Makes me wonder why there aren’t any for sale in any vending machines.

Like most bad ideas, it started with alcohol.

But the helmet had gold decoration, and the bespoke armorers had made a new gleaming breastplate with useless gold ornamentation on it. Sam Vimes felt like a class traitor every time he wore it. He...

Hindi ka niya lalapitan kung wala siyang kailangan at hindi ka niya lulubayan hanggang hindi niya nakukuha ang gusto niya.

Could I have the whole kit, but none of the caboodle?

Did he just rip out the engine?” I asked.”Yes”, Saiman said. “And now he is demolishing the Maserati with it.”Ten seconds later Curran hurled the twisted wreck of black and orange that used to be...

You can find humor in everything. everything.

His last name was Worthless. Or was that just the perfect word to describe him? Shouldn’t our names summarize who we are? If so, I want to be called Al Auttalovetogive.

The men responsible for this depression are irresponsible, and therefore only irresponsible people are responsible enough to get us out and reverse course.

And that’s what I don’t like about magic, Captain. ‘cos it’s *magic*. You can’t ask questions, it’s magic. It doesn’t explain anything, it’s magic. You don’t know where it comes from, it’s magic! That’s what...

In fact that is why the lives of most women are so vaguely unsatisfactory. They are always doing secondary and menial things (that do not require all their gifts and ability) for others and never...

Margaret Atwood, the Canadian novelist, once asked a group of women at a university why they felt threatened by men. The women said they were afraid of being beaten, raped, or killed by men. She...

My love is like the collision between a falling statue and still bird poop.

It hardly matters, sweet; once they’ve come off, the attention isn’t likely to center on my absurdly handsome knees.

Gallows humor is part of having a doctor in the house. Deal with it.

I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me.

but only if you wave them about on the floor with a scrubbing brush.

Actually it was the mark of the stupid, which is what you get for sitting under a tree during a thunderstorm.

A credit card allows you transcend time. For it allows you to put off until tomorrow what you bought today, while you are still paying what you bought yesterday.

Schwester Marie–Claire hatte in ihrem Ethikunterricht stets behauptet, es käme gar nicht darauf an, dass die Menschen an den Teufel glaubten, denn es reiche schon aus, dass der Teufel gute Gründe hätte an die Menschen...

Victor patted my hand. ‘I like you, Sky. You’re a fighter.”I am, aren’t I? Hear that, Zed? No more bambi comparisons. I’m a Rottweiler -with a temper.”A very small Rottweiler,’ said Zed, still not convinced.

it was Greenspan who through some excessive deregulation prepared the monetary ground for the rise of the subprime mortgage companies: a lending market that specialises in high-risk mortgages and loans.’Innovation’, said Greenspan in April 2005,...

Love is when you love someone’s spirit as much as their body, even if their spirit has departed and their body is buried wherever you hid it.

I first knew I was a woman when my mother and father took me out to dinner to celebrate my success on the debate team.” It was mostly men yelling shit from cars. Are they...

That, they never could lay their heads upon their pillows; that, they could never tolerate the idea of their wives laying their heads upon their pillows; that, they could never endure the notion of their...

What happens when the hitcher and the driver are equally murderous?

My dreams, they all look like the back of my eyelids.

Mom has the Touch. She knows what flowers go with what occasions, what hors d’oeuvres work with what people. She believes passionately in the power of food to heal, restore, and stimulate relationships, and she...

For my birthday, a few of my wealthier friends got me a pot to piss in. Also, they were kind enough to fill it up with cat litter.

A great gift would be a map full of evacuation routes for the city, subtly telling the recipient to get the hell out of town.

Mission motto, sir,” said Carrot cheerfully. “Morituri Nolumus Mori. Rincewind suggested it.””I imagine he did,” said Lord Vetinari, observing the wizard coldly. “And would you care to give us a colloquial translation, Mr Rincewind?””Er…” Rincewind...

As my mom used to say,”If wishes were horses, we’d be up to our eyeballs in shit.

And a special thanks for not burning up the whole ship. Including yourself, you daft bum-rag.

After we deal and heal…NOT A A SHRED OF EVIDENCE EXISTS THAT LIFE IS SERIOUS…..Jan Marshall

Think that street lingo was the street lingo about eight decades ago, Hanna. So now it’s just lingo.

My uncle missed the sixties. Not because he was too young. He just simply slept through them.

I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories.