Interviewer: ‘So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?’Frank Zappa: ‘You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?

(About a cookbook…)- What about this one? Maids of Honor?- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor…but they ends up Tarts.

I’m not sure you’re quite sensible of the honor I’m doing you,” Jace said. “you’ll be the first mundane who has ever been inside the Institute.” “Probably the smell keeps the rest of them away.

It is never ridicule, but a compliment, that knocks a philosopher off his feet. He is already positioned for every possible counter-attack, counter-argument, and retort…only to find a big bear hug coming his way.

I often warn people: “Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, ‘There is no “I” in team.’ What you should tell them is, ‘Maybe not. But there is an “I” in independence,...

There is, I believe, in every disposition a tendency to some particular evil, a natural defect, which not even the best education can overcome.””And your defect is a propensity to hate everybody.””And yours,” he replied...

You’re one of the lucky ones.

Caro: “Bite me.”Ruby: “I gave that up in kindergarten.

You speak in ignorant disdain of the foremost nation of the world,” Yongxing said, growing angry himself, “like all your country-men, who show no respect for that which is superior, and insult our customs.””For which...

A lady came up to me one day and said ‘Sir! You are drunk’, to which I replied ‘I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.

I don’t know how you persist in being so stubborn-“”It’s a superpower. I was bitten by a radioactive mule.