When life backs you into a corner and offers you no escape, when your friends, your lover, and your family abandon you, when you’re at the end of your rope, panicked, alone, and losing your...

What did I tell you about plastic ties? Only for humans, Julie murmured.If you don’t listen to me, I can’t teach you anything.

The Oracle rose. As one, the three witches bowed.”See?” Bran jerked his thumb at the three women. “That’s how a woman should treat a man. Next time you see me, I want you to do...

The last time Assistant Principal Parker called, a girl in the school’s locker room had accused Julie of being a whore during the two years she’d spent on the street. My kid took exception to...

If you don’t explain it all to me, I might strangle somebody.” Of course, Raphael might like that…

Were you watching me sleep? Because I thought we agreed that’s creepy.

I thought of telling him that if it wasn’t for Oklahoman cowboys and Mexican whores having a bit of fun, there would’ve been no Texans, but that would be counterproductive.

Did he just rip out the engine?” I asked.”Yes”, Saiman said. “And now he is demolishing the Maserati with it.”Ten seconds later Curran hurled the twisted wreck of black and orange that used to be...

All his internal organs, with the exception of the heart, atrophied long ago. The throat makes for a very good storage cavity. People seem to prefer it to the anus.”Translation: be happy I didn’t pull...

Nice plan. Take the gullible outsiders, walk them around for a bit, then feed them to the giant tortoise.

Kate’s Speciality: Killing things, with much bloodshed. Talking trash, infuriating authority. Driving Beast Lord crazy.

Did those nice church ladies come by again?” He nodded. “I asked them if a man died and then the woman remarried, and then the three of them met in heaven, would it be a...

In there?’She nodded.’You want us to go into the tortoise?’Another nod.’It’s alive.’Another nod.

He raised his hand in a peaceful gesture. “You need to relax a bit, dove. Like Mouse over there. You trust me, don’t you, Mouse?””Nope!””Ahhh, I’m hurt. Nobody likes me.

You know,” she said, stirring her tea, “the fastest way to get him off your back is to sleep with him. And tell him you love him. Preferably while in bed.”I smirked and the tea...

The decorator of Las Colimas must have been a great admirer of both early Aztec and late Taco Bell architectural styles.

I turned to leave and paused before the gap in the ruined wall. “One last thing, Your Majesty. I’d like a name I can put into my report, something shorter than typing out ‘The Leader...

He lunged for the maps. I grabbed the chair and hit him with it. He went down. I hit him again to make sure he stayed that way, stepped over him, and picked up the...

On the other hand it was bad manners to look a gift horse in the mouth. Even if you’re getting it from an overweight cracker in a fringe shirt.

Estene aleera hesaad de viren aneda.” And now, you are forever mine.

You know anything about investigative work?””Sure. Annoy the people involved until the guilt party tries to make you go away.

And men my prophet wail deride!

Who snitched?””We have people monitoring police radio frequencies. They gave Jim a heads-up in case our security had to storm PAD offices and bust you out of there. I found out when I saw Jim...

I’ll be busy for the next eight weeks, so let’s set this for November 15th.MENUI want lamb or venison steak. Baked potatoes with honey butter. Corn on the cob. Rolls. And apple pie, like the...

I had to give it him, to flatter and insult a woman in one propostition took talent.

Secret to what?””Secret to shutting you up,” he said. “I just have to beat you till you’re half-dead, then give you chicken soup and”–he raised his hands–“blessed silence.