I have a terrible memory; I never forget a thing.

Hercules,huh? Percy frowned. “That guy was like the Starbucks of Ancient Greece. Everywhere you turn–there he is.

Look, did you ask me to come all the way uptown just so you could stare at me like I was something in a petri dish? Next time I’ll send you a photo.””And I’ll frame...

Language is the proper way to communicate, followed closely by five balled up fingers forming a fist and flying at a face. Violence is never the answer—unless the question is: What the fuck are you...

You know you’re a mom when you open the door to the dishwasher mid-cycle and think, ‘This is the closest I’m going to get to a spa treatment till next Mother’s Day.'””Joining the words ‘Lose...

My friend fell in a pool, so I brought him to the hospital in a bucket. Half of him splashed out when I peed in it. I tried to save him, but I’m no Ryan...

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so?There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.

Oh, yeah? Me too. Let’s see whose friend gets here first.

Haven’t you ever heard that modesty is an attractive trait?””Only from ugly people,” Jace confided. “The meek may inherit the earth, but at the moment it belongs to the conceited. Like me.” He winked at...

Don’t you think ‘Mark is kind of a weird name for a Shadowhunter?” Julian was saying as Emma approached. “I mean, if you really think about it. It’s confusing. ‘Put a Mark on me, Mark.

Blue skies, 77 degrees, and palm trees—I’m living the dream. Still, I could go for a nap, or a cup of coffee as large as my bathtub.

Marko Vešović sjedi u Staroj Grčkoj na bijelom kamenu…nad njim nebo..

I am the master of the Whisper Shout. It sounds like my normal talking voice, only breathier. It makes a common I love you sound Top Secret.

It’s a fact I want to own a factory that makes up facts and figures, and I figure to make a fortune selling to politicians.

…You have any suggestions, make them. I’m in charge but humble. No need to salute when you see me.” Fraser said, “Mind if we snicker every once in a while behind your back?” “Hell, no,”...

Is there a particular reason you keep biting vampires?”Will touched the dried blood on his wrists, and smiled. “They don’t expect it.””Of course they don’t. They know what happens when one of us consumes vampire...

Myth, mist, and mystery all add to the illusion of love. If you need me I’ll be by the fog machine wearing a tunic and writing an epic poem in Greek.

I eat overcast skies for breakfast, because sunlight isn’t filling enough. As a lover, I’m a bring-my-own-umbrella kind of guy, because a soup bowl doesn’t offer enough space or protection.

My deceit is shaped like a STOP sign. It’s also bright red. If you don’t observe it, it can be quite dangerous.

We were just looking at maps…

Mer—mermaids. There are fish with women’s bodies or—women with fish bodies sitting upon the rocks. I—I never knew…

Major Major never sees anyone in his office while he’s in his office.

I’m very much afraid I didn’t mean anything but nonsense.

It pours itself. My love, I mean. I hope you like a lot of gravy on your mashed potatoes!

The summer temperature outside was 45 degrees, so I turned 45 degrees and went right back inside. It was so cold outside because that’s where all her love for me was.

When it came time for me to give my talk on the subject, I started off by drawing an outline of the cat and began to name the various muscles.The other students in the class...

As my turn approached, I suddenly became aware of my own heartbeat. I wished that I were a Tibetan lama, so that I could control its racing valves.

As an atheist hates Christmas, I hate the fourth of July.

Pop music is like an auditory cup of coffee. It has no nutritional value but it gets you going.

1-12, how many Decembers does it take to sell thirteen to Mr. Fourteen and Mr. Months? Depends on how much love you throw in for free.

There aren’t two political parties in this country, it’s all just one big party—and the citizens aren’t invited.

THE WOMAN WAS GOING TO KILL HIM, and not because she was stronger and more vicious than he was. Which, if he thought about it, she was. He’d never ripped a man’s throat out with...

Si al final mis problemas no eran solubles, cuando menos serían adulterables.

Generally speaking, I try not to generalize.

You don’t say.

void”. Are a bit whorish in that the instant you walk away from them in less than a minute they’ll be all over someone else, and the moment you actually need them they’re nowhere to...

I wish I had a body like fog or mist, and could move mysteriously. But genetics being what they are, I’m stuck with a body like haze.

It’s not gay to jack off, so how could it be gay to give your clone a handjob? If anything, it’s on-the-job training for a political career.

I had a dream about you. We watched the sunset together like a couple of perverts in a peep show. I really liked your idea of cutting a hole in a sheet of plywood, because...

CHEERS, CARTER. At least you have the sense to hand me the microphone for important things.Honestly, he drones on and on about his plans for the Apocalypse, but he makes no plans at all for...

Christ, seven years of college, down the drain.

I look up in the sky, what do I see? Well blue.

Some people don’t have a lick of common sense. I don’t have a lick of a lollipop. But I do have love on the tip of my tongue, so that’s good.

Three people are interviewing for a job. The first thinks his odds are 33.3 percent of landing the job. The second guy, so sure of himself, thinks his odds are 100 percent. The third guy,...

I think I have a strange thing growing out of my neck that causes me to think too much.

Any game plan? Xypher asked Sin.Don’t die.I like it. Simple, bold. Impossible. Works for me.Kat scoffed at his sarcasm. What are you bitching about, Xypher? You’re already dead.He laughed. You know, for once, it’s good...

There’s always a but. It’s a magical word. You can say anything you want, go on for as long as you want, and then all you have to do is add the magic word and...

Terror was the key, of course, for there’s a fine line between paralyzing dread and galvanizing fright.

How I should despise such a thing if I were a man. What a nose she has! what a chin! what a neck! Then her eyes–and the worst kissing lips in the universe.

You must master the vices. You know that if a thing is worth doing it’s worth doing well. If, however, a thing is not worth doing then it’s worth doing fabulously, amazingly, with grace, style...