Shigure: “Lemme guess; you lost your temper and yelled at her again, right? You know, you shouldn’t do that if you’re just going to regret it. Not too bright, now is it?”Kyo: “Save your breath....

M.

There was something ghost-like and insubstantial about gases to these early chemists. They called liquids that turned into gases easily, “spirits.” Methyl alcohol, they called “wood spirit”; ethyl alcohol, “wine spirit.” Even today, alcoholic beverages...

I don’t have your way with words “Sin said. “So I’m just going to go with a quick response. Ha

If you’re going to hold a grudge, at least put on an oven mitt before you pick it up.

I want to be the guy in a movie who’s, I don’t know, out walking his rabbit on a leash (I don’t have a rabbit) and knows exactly how to strike up a quirky, compelling...

I am a jealous husband wife, and I feel your pain. All of it, for all of you.

If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going...

Reality depresses me. I need to find fantasy worlds and escape in them.

Coffee, it’s not my cup of tea. Being in love isn’t really my cup of tea either, but when it’s steamy I’ll sip it dutifully.

If idiots could fly, the sky would be like an airport.

Confession was the emotional equivalent to puking, Riley supposed. Something bad went down, bits of it came back up, you felt better.

Blankets could be used as tents. That would free up tents to be used as portable sex stalls.

It’s adult swim time and I’m diving in here at the shallow end.

Should I go up one flight of stairs and then come back down, or should I go down one flight of stairs and then come back up? Same destination, same distance, same amount of work,...

She ran into the bathroom and powdered her face and the front of her dress, drew a surrealistic version of a mouth beneath her nose, and dashed into her bedroom to find a coat.

And forced me to kill my own brother.

A brick could help get your unruly hair under control, by getting at the root of the problem—your skull. Increase force as necessary.

He laced his hands behind his neck and propped his boots on the opposite arm of the sofa. If an artist were to capture this image, it would have been labeled,Smugness: A Portrait. She wanted...

Chairs have legs. Four of them, like my father. Meow.

Among the dragons, the prohibition against asking direct questions did not exist, and-as Harrier discovered immediately-dragons were even more outrageous gossips than sailors.

Very easily, Lady Difficult. I find myself quitecharming.

A blanket could be used to express my condolences. I’m sorry to have to tell you I’m sorry, but that’s life, you know?

Songwriting is a bitch. And then it has puppies

You know you’ve drunk too much when you run out of booze. It’s the same with love. Also, I’m drunk.

I mean, it’s just sex. It’s simple biology, right? You build up tension and stress– you need to open a valve somewhere and let it out, or you’ll explode. Nothing deep and emotional about it,...

I put my heart in a paper cup, so she’d be more likely to drink it up.

A blanket could be used to sell ice cream to streakers. Well, it could, if those naked runners didn’t leave their wallets in their pants.

There are any number of magical creatures, mostly female, whose singing can bring about horror and death. Sirens, undines, banshees, Bananarama tribute bands…

I’m not a ref, but I assigned her the penalty of clipping, and I told her to drop the scissors and step away from the newspaper ads.

Betemit’s positional flexibility is the same as yours: He can stand around and muse about the great philosophical debates of our day anywhere on the field. Catching and throwing the baseball is an entirely different...

If I got upset every time someone beat me, or chased me, or tried to rape me, I’d be crying in my cereal every morning. No one likes a whiner.

I sell Jarod-shaped earplugs that just may plug up the hole in your heart. My earplugs are modeled after a nude Helen Keller.

Commoners Supermarket! Commoners Supermarket!

Are you sleepwalking?’ A voice asked behind me. “I was testing dorm security,” I said. “It sucks.

Pete Rose’s last name is so sweet, he can’t be a cheater. But a cheat by any other name would smell just as sweet.

I don’t read biographies for moral instruction, or for a history lesson. I want to know what people are saying about me.

My family tree spreads wide as well. I am a great ape, and you are a great ape, and so are chimpanzees and orangutans and bonobos, all of us distant and distrustful cousins.I know this...

He gives her his Art History lecture.‘Then you get Mo-net and Ma-net, that’s a little tricky, Mo-net was the one did all the water lilies and shit, his colors were blues and greens, Ma-net was...

It is a quintessential example of the whirling kinetics that drive a Keaton film, in which not just the medium but the human body- the permutations of the sinews, the shock of the limbs -seems...

You used nunchucks on a moose?”Wolfe got a haunted look in his eyes. “I used all sorts of things on that bastard.

When I was growing up, I’d walk to school in the snow. In Florida. Uphill all three ways.

Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources

An uncomfortable marriage can not bear the strain of the death of a beloved donkey.

She hadn’t planned any of this, but her thoughts ran away with her, and she hated how pathetic she must sound. Poor little human needed the big bad angel to rescue her. Yuck.

A brick could be used to stop potential terrorist plots. But it sure would be more effective if I could just record every single phone conversation, email, text message, Google search, and Skype video chat...

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

I’m not a bicycle. Don’t try to ride me and leave me in the garage. I’m a treadmill. Walk on me and leave me in a guest room.

There is an enduring freshness in what remains strange and obscure which the cliches of greatness can only evoke nostalgia for.

Be kind to everyone, everyone is going through something