He’s acting as foolish as a kitten… but then, everyone’s entitled to a little foolishness once in a while.

All I’m trying to say is that if you’re not willing to observe this, if you’re just going to condemn it, you’re never going to see it. It’s there, whether you like it or not....

Provided that nothing like useful knowledge could be gained from them, provided they were all story and no reflection, she had never any objection to books at all.

Have a little sociological beano. As you said – in sociology one can do anything and call it work.

The first domesticated animal was the scapegoat.

The way I saw it, if my students were willing to pretend I was a teacher, the least I could do was return the favor and pretend that they were writers.

I’d like to spend money on a wallet, but if I spent money on a wallet, I’d have none left over to fill it with. At least my heart is full of love, even though...

His [Lord Peter’s] long, amiable face looked as if it had generated spontaneously from his top hat, as white maggots breed from Gorgonzola.

It’s just another of Robin’s sayings. Like, ‘Holy strawberries, Batman, we’re in a jam! Or, Holy Kleenex, Batman, it was right under our nose and we blew it!

It was rather too late in the day to set about being simple-minded and ignorant.

Someday is not a day of the week.

You okay?””Fine.””Your heart’s beating really fast.””Gee, thanks. That’s very comforting that you can hear it.”He smiled, and it was the old Michael, the one she’d first met before all the vamp stuff.”Yeah, I know it...

I’m such an alcoholic that I go to church just for communion.

Be true to who you are as a person. Or, if you’re a politician, be true to who you are as an animal. Actually, to be true as a politician you have to be false.

Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.

I’m a guy.

G. I. Gurdieff, “Beelzebub’s Tales to His Grandson”So-and-so-and-so-must-be; do-not-do-what-must-not-be. Mullah’s favorite saying. p. 598

JP shouted, “TELL THEM WHAT YOU JUST DID TO EACH OTHER!””Um,” I said.”We kissed,” the Duke said.”That’s kinda gay,” Keun said.”I AM A GIRL.””Yeah, I know, but so is Tobin,” Keun said.

I think it’s interesting.

If sharks really can smell blood, then I’d imagine they’re all salivating over my erection right now.

Would you mind terribly if instead of serving desert, I masturbated quietly at the dinner table? I’m training for Congress.

Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

A witch, a vampire, and a pixy walk into a bar, I thought as I led the way into the Squirrel’s End. It was early, and the sun had yet to set when the door...

Being negative, that’s no good. Also, being no good is no good. By your silence I can tell that you love me. Either that or you’re a disciple of Helen Keller.

I alternate between feeling sympathetic toward humanity and being a misanthrope. When I’m sympathetic, it usually means I haven’t been around people in awhile.

There were a few things scarier than a bipolar vampire off his meds, but to be honest, not that many.

I have never yet figured out what to do about good advice that you get, and that you know right away would help you, but that you cannot follow.

Some breakfast food manufacturer hit upon the simple notion of emptying out the leavings of carthorse nose bags, adding a few other things like unconsumed portions of chicken layer’s mash, and the sweepings of racing...

In bed, I can go for hours. Oh yes, I love naps.

Besides my professional goals, I have a couple of private ones, my man. One of those is to pet a kangaroo before I leave Australia. I understand there’s lots of Eastern Grays around this area....

Abstain from reading comedy or other government economic statistics.

Once upon a time, there was this über-creepy old man—who looks like he lives in a haunted shack and eats small children for breakfast—and I decided to make him my new best friend becaaauuse… Okay,...

Well, good Christ, how was I supposed to know all that, Hannah? Who looks into the fine points when he’s hungry? I’m eight years old and chocolate pudding happens to get me hot. All I...

No matter how much water a sink takes on, it never lives up to its name. The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

I ordered an extra large handshake to go, but I had no idea it would be so greasy—or that it would leave a stain on my crotch. Ugh, politics!

I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or needy.

Water is the most essential element in life, because without it you can’t make coffee.

The problem I have with all this religion stuff is that I can’t relate to it. I think most people got into ‘cos it gave them something to do on a Sunday, but since all...

I happen to be immature, undisciplined, and self-centered, pretty much a little boy in a man’s body, although I’d appreciate it if you didn’t quote me on that.-Bobby Tom

Put your middle finger and your thumb together. And make it snappy.

I can’t afford to be dishonest. I also can’t afford to be poor.

But giving drugs to a cat is no joke, Kemp!

I’ll have that someday, thought Peter. Someone who’ll kiss me good-bye at the door. Or maybe just someone to put a blindfold over my head before they shoot me. Depending on how things turn out.

I’m the first to admit that I don’t write right. Now, relax and enjoy the show! The sideshow, that is.

He set the suitcases in the back then tossed her the keys. “You drive.”She repressed a smile as she climbed behind the wheel. “With each passing day, your reasons for wanting a wife become clearer.

I respect my elders, but I don’t respect the Myelders, who are my neighbors, because they are so neglectful of their lawn that it’s like they don’t even exist.

If I’m homeless and pushing a shopping cart filled with all my worldly possessions, don’t be surprised to see me stopped behind a few cars in the turning lane, because I’ve got to get off...

The stalker, meanwhile, stepped into the road. Didn’t even check for traffic. There wasn’t any, but something told me this was lucky for traffic rather than the stalker.

What are you going to fill it with?” she asks. “Holy water or something?” “Probably Dasani,” Thomas replies.

Ask me if I sparkle and I’ll kill you where you stand.” (Bones)