My sincere thanks to friends and family, especially my mother, father, brother, and Mandy, who continue to love and support me despite my obsessions.

Expired condoms are like nuclear waste: there’s nothing sensible you can do with it.

I like gross generalizations…I also like disgusting specifics!

I don’t have enough gross words in my gross vocabulary to describe how gross that gross thought is. Gross.

Big food companies make hot dogs with mechanically separated meat (msm) that, as described matter-of-factly by the [USDA], is “a paste-like and batter-like meat product produced by forcing bones with attached edible meat under high pressure through a sieve or similar device to separate the bone from the edible meat tissue.”. I read that and...

An acre of poppies and a forest of spruce boggle no one’s mind. Even ten square miles of wheat gladdens the hearts of most . . . No, in the plant world, and especially among the flowering plants, fecundity is not an assault on human values. Plants are not our competitors; they are our prey...

A man who has been dead for a week in a hot trailer looks more like a man than you would first expect.

Like all young men, you greatly exaggerate the difference between one young woman and another.

I am, he thought dimly, watching a vampire take a piss.

umm… abit gross it kinda about boyfriend and girlfriend kinda going throw then they break up then they love each other then they make up again and the girl father said u have to come home until 9pm but the girls want more time to be with her boyfriend 🙂

That’s brain tissue. How can you-?” Claire shut her mouth, fast. “Never mind. I don’t think I wanna know.””Truly, I think that’s best. Please take it.” He showed his teeth briefly in a very unsettling grin. “I’m giving you a piece of my mind.””I so wish you hadn’t said that.

To me, beer tastes like piss. Maybe that’s why I only enjoy it in the shower with my uncle.

Are you still doing that crap?” I ask.”You can’t even do it properly,” Eileen says.”Just a matter of practice,” Simone says.”Wow! Practicing how to poison yourself and make your breath reek like the fart of a seagull!” Eileen cries.

Newly Found Sugary Spill: Tastes Like Dried Spit or Old Soda

What is it with slobbery kissers? Are they trying to drown us in spit? I mean, Jesus, swallow every now and then.

Bombs Away!” he yelled, swooping low over StregaSchloss. He saw little figures on the ground fleeing from the large green projectile that was speeding their way. “And a direct hit, if I’m not mistaken,” he observed to himself. With a tremendous slapping sound, Ffup’s digestive overload landed on a human target. There was a scream,...

Do we have a hand mirror?’ I asked from the kitchen doorway.’Never use one,’ said Lester, examining the date on a carton of sour cream.’Naturally, you’re a male. What you see is what you’ve got,’ I said resentfully.’Huh?’ said Lester.

Above him loomed a grotesque fat man […] His bedrobe was large enough to serve as a tourney pavilion, but its loosely knotted belt had come undone, exposing a huge white belly and a pair of heavy breasts that sagged like sacks of suet covered with coarse yellow hair.

If it doesn’t sweat, jiggle, or pant, it’s not alive.

Revel in grossness. Leave food in your teeth. Proudly display feminine hygiene products.

Victor eyed the glistening tubes in the tray around Dibbler’s neck. They smelled appetizing. They always did. And then you bit into them, and learned once again that Cut-me-own-Throat Dibbler could find a use for bits of an animal that the animal didn’t know it had got. Dibbler had worked out that with enough fried...