Do you even realize how happythe average teenage girl would be in your shoes? I have a credit card. We’reat the mall. I want to buy you things. It’s like adolescent nirvana.”- Cora

What does it say about me that I don’t say much? It doesn’t say I love you, and that’s sad, because when I ignore you, that’s exactly what I’m trying to tell you.

When those lips engulfed my head, I said to myself later, ‘nothing else will ever touch this scalp again’. I couldn’t help it, though. I lathered sunscreen on it unthinkingly the next day before I...

There really is no sense in pretending to be normal. Just be you because the moment you do, weirder things happen. Crazy comes back into fashion and every woman has to go out and find...

I sorted my sordid sort ofs from my maybes. Then I made love like never before. Seriously, I’d never made love before, and I have to say, it didn’t cost me as much money as...

Our nannas are losers.

People who didn’t need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn’t need people.

I’m now ‘Doctor’ to the patients and I have to cover my ignorance by waving my arms and looking grave.

Okay, you gotta be nice to him, ” I say, coaxing the white fur-ball into my hands. “I will,” Nate says, and I smile over my shoulder. “I was actually talking to Mr. Pippi. He’s...

I don’t get very involved in the L.A. scene. When you do get invited out, you are expected to be on all the time. It’s just wearying.

A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

Self-knowledge is better than self-control any day,” Raquel said firmly. “And I know myself well enough to know how I act around cookies.

It wasn’t enough that I had to worry about playing well and winning the game, but I also had to deal with possibility that one of my teammates could be dragged off the field by...

If ye canna see the bright side o’ life, polish the dull side

I’m much more than a writer – I’m someone who puts different words together in an interesting way.

Something about this made Reynie uneasy. Had he done so badly? Was this meant to test his courage? He did as he was told, closing his eyes and bracing himself as best he could.”Why are...

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, “I’m going to mop the floor with your face.” I said, “You’ll be sorry.” He said, “Oh, yeah? Why?” I...

It would actually constitute more than a miracle, he realised. It would take divine intervention plus luck, plus some unknown element of cosmic wizardry.

It’s said that sport is the civilised society’s substitute for war, and also that the games we play as children are designed to prepare us for the realities of adult life. Certainly it’s true that...

If you want to keep people happy, just keep the food and entertainment rolling.

I dance for a living. At the early bird special you can find me—doing the worm.

Boredom can be a lethal thing on a small island.

In this world only the paranoid survive.

You’re 16 years old, you don’t know shit about shit, and PULL UP YOU’RE PANTS!!!

Yeah, okay. You’re right. I was having dinner with Zombie Carl the other night. You know, steak, rare, and a bottle of vintage type A. He told me all his secrets, but too bad for...

Shindana na wenzako kuwa juu zaidi katika tasnia uliyojichagulia.

A blanket could be used to stop the bleeding. But dammit you’re going to have to hurry, before I bleed out all over the carpet.

Please. If you were mostly dead in the middle of the road I’d obviously stop. And then I’d watch you die.”Kate to Will

A blanket could be used to make people smile. But the blanket won’t make just anyone smile—it will make people with no mouths smile. I plan on showing a live audience how it works at...

We insist,” I tossed in.

A brick could be used to test how fast you throw a baseball, if, you know, baseballs were cube-shaped and integral to the construction of houses.

That’s enough, Phineas,” said Dumbledore.

I can’t go to Amsterdam. One of my doctors thinks it’s a bad idea.”He was quiet for a second. “God,” he said. “I should’ve just paid for it myself. Should’ve just taken you straight from...

Oh. That’s okay then. ’Cause I really like bacon.

I can’t imagine the scientists wanting me to walk into the lab and start fiddling around with some big bowl of electrons they had out.

A brick could be used to remind you. I would remind you of what you need to be reminded about, but that’s not my role—that’s the brick’s place.

Now it is easy to perceive that the moral part of love is a factitious sentiment, engendered by society, and cried up by the women with great care and address in order to establish their...

A brick could be used to decorate the interior of your anus. Here, bend over and let me demonstrate.

Diesel sucked air. “You keep fondling me like that, and I might have to marry you.””I’m not fondling you. I’m looking for the keys!””Could you look a little more gently? You’re scaring my boys.

A blanket could be used to foil slave traders. But so could tinfoil and leftover meatloaf. Geez, the whole Civil War could have been avoided if only Lincoln had known that little trick.

Mal snickered. “What’s so funny?””I just pictured the Darkling being cornered by a sweaty duchess trying to have her way with him.

Bricks could be used to stock vending machines. You may be out of a home, but I’ll never be out of bricks to sell you.

Sadness is like growing of hairs around our ass; we may not like it or want it, but it is surprisingly always there.

And you are going to close the gates, because I told you to close the gates.

If you turn into a hideous monster and I am sent to slay you, I will remember this and make it as painless as I can, out of respect for you.

That’s so cute! They have birdbaths in the church!

The music department is going to do a musical next year,” he tells me, rolling his eyes like I would.Justine is running toward me, and I can tell by the look on her face that...

A blanket could be wrapped around people who’ve recently been electrocuted, because I’ll bet it’s really warm under those covers. I’ve always wanted to roast marshmallows in my sleep.

There’s always someone we’d love to kill, the trick is to make it not look like an accident

If I were to vote, I would intentionally vote for the goofiest candidate. It is my theory that when the people can outwit the leader, the more respected their voices will be.