A fart in the face is love.

A blanket could be used for anti-population-control purposes. Get naked and get under the blanket and I’ll show you how it works.

After all, this was the place where I’d had my first meaningful conversation with a female, it was the site of a football’s first encounter with my groin, and above all, it was the location...

Rather than Dick Tracy characters that you laugh at and find funny but don’t relate to, (you have) real characters, more relatable to the audience.

Do I have to?

Are you suggesting by that ‘our’ that you and I will have mutual grandchildren? Fie, Mrs. Kennedy!

A brick could be slid on a wood floor, like a rolling bowling ball, in an attempt to fill the seconds between swallows of beer.

Normally I’d run off in the other direction when faced with a man wearing what were essentially pyjamas to work, but this time… well, they matched my boxers.

A brick could be used to deny you your dreams. And a blanket could be used as a gateway to all your dreams.

And there were carved hearts in the trunks of trees with the initials of couples who felt there was no more romantic thing they could do to celebrate their love than scar the local plant...

A blanket could be used to confuse and disorient. Think of it not as a bed adornment, but as a really big blindfold.

Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!

A blanket could be used to understand Understanding. At least I think so. The process is complicated, and really hard to understand.

All I could determine was that it must have been a nice thing to see if it was a house you were thinking about moving into. But not so nice if it was the house...

A blanket could be used to line the walls of the Love Chamber, to soundproof it so that nobody hears you scream.

The moment was surreal. A sometimes-autistic young man with two identities lecturing a room full of zombies on feelings and realities.

I claim neither liberalism nor conservatism – one tends to be airheaded while the other tends to be brickheaded.

Regin the Radiant and Emmaline Troy: ‘Alrighty then, have it your way- you’re on your own… Now, if you come across a leech, no offense, remember your training.”None taken. And would that be the sword...

A decade ago when Isabel’s husband Max had died, they’d moved in together and merged their possessions. Neither sister brought any fussy teapots, canaries, sachets, or doilies,but lots of other stuff had to either stay...

The word “genius” isn’t applicable in football. A Genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.

A brick could be used to enslave humanity. No wait, a brick can’t do that—but the Masons can.

I won’t say that you’re pretty because that dog already did. And I won’t say you’re funny because you have had me laughing since I met you.

It means the third rail has seven hundred volts of direct current running through it. Touch it and you’re human popcorn

I also don’t trust Caribou anymore. They’re out there, on the tundra, waiting… Something’s going down. I’m right about this.

My white duvet is like an avalanche of blanket.

YOU SMELL OF BRIMSTONE AND BUTTHOLE! BEGONE, FOUL CREATURE!

A brick could be used to show how patient you are. Somewhere between one brick and a million bricks lies a home. For me, my home is one brick, and I carry it with me...

Jared was completely gone now, holding his stomach and laughing so hard that tears were running down his face. Matt turned on him and snapped, “It’s not funny,” which only made Jared laugh harder.”Any of...

I’ve got you covered. Just don’t hog all the blanket.

When she walked by the two officers, they didn’t recognize her. “Have you seen the luscious bonbon with the golden braids?” She grinned up at them with such impish mischief that they almost forgot their...

A blanket could be used to reveal hidden mysteries. Quick, get naked and get under, and I will illuminate the night.

I came into the room, which was half dark, and presently spotted Lord Kelvin in the audience and realised that I was in for trouble at the last part of my speech dealing with the...

You know it feels good. I can hardly geta…I don’t even…”There was something amusing about watching him trying to form a coherent sen-tence. Amusing, but arousing at the sametime.

And honestly, given the choice of facing my mother or a vampire, I think I’d always choose the latter.

I couldn’t think of anything helpful to say, so I resorted to humor, my shield of last resort. ‘Just please tell me they don’t have a dog and a picket fence.’He smiled. ‘No fence, but...

I built my marriage brick by brick. And I destroyed it blanket by blanket.

Make sure the seaweed lies flat.”Okay.”Leave an inch below the knee.”Okay.”It’s got to be loose enough to put a finger in the top.”Sean Kendrick.’ I say it emphatically enough that the stallion’s ears prick toward...

Honor is kind of what you get when you weaponize manners …

Why were you watching me change?” I explain. “Uh, ’cause I’m a guy?” He flips the pillow and slaps it, fluffing it. Then he rolls over and closes his eyes again.

Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn’t be able to survive.

No need, no, need. Life is already too short to find it.

I love family reunions. Maybe next year we could pass out samurai swords.

Are you sure you can’t dematerialize? Not even a little?” “I’m sure.

He swiveled his head towards Eddie. “Tell me how to get over to the Four Lads. Do I have to die again?”If he did, he had a Beretta on him and he knew what kicking...

I never knew how much I missed pickles and pickle juice. It’s like, an overwhelming feeling that I can’t even explain.

She’s the kind of woman I could see myself spending the rest of my life with—after I turn 99.

I’m engaged, on the way to being married.

When I saw you, I saw love. When I saw you naked, I saw lust. When I saw you with my clone in a dream, I saw the future.

Women KNOW, we just know. Even if we didn’t know, we would know. Men won’t get this, but women will..because we KNOW

Love waits patiently. In the lobby. I’ll be with you as soon as I can.