When you borrow a man’s car, always return it with a tank of gas.

In the first place, you can’t see anything from a car.

I had eggs for breakfast. I ate them off the hood of a politician’s car, after I threw them there.

You and I both know that love is for children,” he said. ”We’re adults. Compatibility is for adults.””Compatibility is for my Bluetooth and my car,” Teresa replied. ”Only they get along just fine, and my...

I want a one-bedroom house with cup holders. I want to live in my car, and make the road my home.

I had a dream I was in an old woman’s closet peeing on a giant shoe. Sorry grandma I thought it was the bathroom. I hate vacations where someone carries you out of the car...

In your life, always be like a driver who runs the car not just a car.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’d be up for hearing about the one-eyed chick,” Vida said with a shrug. “You are atually the worst person I have ever met,” Chubs said....

A Toyota is not a toy. At least not a sex toy. However, my driving is both erratic and erotic. Tickets are ten dollars per passenger. Senior citizen discounts not available.

I want a coffee machine that runs on gasoline and drives me to work. We can make love in the backseat, next to the cream and sugar.

Everybody in!” I said.Which was when we discovered the final problem.Little Echos aren’t designed to hold six, count them six, larger-than-average-sized children.And their wings.And a dog.”This is like a clown car,” Total grumbled front my...

I had a dream about you. You were washing your car, and I was washing my horse. You thought I belonged in the 19th century, and I thought you belonged in a zoo. I wasn’t...

It’s very ugly’ I said generously. ‘But it looks as though it would laugh at snow. And, if you hit a deer it would hiccup, and keep going.

If curiosity killed the cat, it was satisfaction that brought it back.

I always get whiplash when I have sex in the backseat. Boy, I sure wish Grandmother would learn how to drive.

Wouldn’t the world be a very loud place to live if we said everything we thought?” Alecto asked quietly.

Amelia, meet my Honeydew.

If you know the road is steepy with many potholes and curves ahead, you will be informed to drive the car at a required speed. Knowledge is a guide you need to make choices in...

She had originally agreed to appear naked, but on seeing the cars informed me that she would only appear topless—an interesting logic was at work there.

I park my car in the parking spot right next to the parking spot my bed is in, just in case I have to pee quickly (at above 65 miles per hour).

I traded in my car with no gas in the tank and my new car came with a full tank. So I at least profited there. That makes me appreciate my depreciation more.

When the fuel is dried up in a vehicle, it stops driving automatically. You are a vehicle in the spiritual and the physical world, so you need some oil for alacrity, in order to get...

Cars are empowered by either petrol or diesel or gas. That is their fuel. I don’t care whether you want to pour pepper soup or orange juice into that car… It can’t work! You can’t...

Too bad my car key won’t start my house. And to answer your unasked question, no you can’t use my toaster like a dual vagina. At least not for the two-for-one price. That price only...

When you are aligned with the truth of who you truly are, then you experience bliss.

I come to a red light, tempted to go through it, then stop once I see a billboard sign that I don’t remember seeing and I look up at it. All it says is ‘Disappear...

But I’m not talking about now. Last Tuesday I could have killed you. Had you in the scope of my rifle, but I let you live. Now THAT was stupid.

I can’t get car parts at Lowes, the home improvement store? If I lived in my car, my car would be my home.

I’ll be waiting in my trunk, with the engine of your car.

The best way to sell a car is to first try to sell them an airplane, then a horse, and then finally bring up the newest model automobile you have for sale.

Well, yeah. But not a lot more.

If I saw a hitchhiker wearing a tie-dyed shirt, I’d assume he’s been waiting for a ride since the 1960s. I think that kind of patience is groovy.

A vagina is not like a car door, no matter how hard you slam it. That’s why I prefer to drive Jeeps.

You are going to find that buying the car is much less satisfying than working for it.

We sat in the car & the night droppeddown until the only sounds werethe crickets &the dance of our voices& for a momentthe world becamesmall enough toroll back & forth between us.

Your driver is on the steer, driving you and you can feel free to doze in the car; this is trust built on competence. Competence is to ensure that your actions put people’s hearts at...

I said I’d drive to her place. But she lives in her car, so I don’t see why she couldn’t just drive her place to my place.

I just got a new windshield. Slowly I’m going to replace my way to a new car. I make love the same way, methodically and over the course of several months.

This morning my car wouldn’t start. I guess that’s better than if my car wouldn’t stop. As a lover I’m a bring-my-own-bicycle kind of guy.

Well, good afternoon, sunshine. How are you feeling?””Like something the cat dragged in, then dragged back outside to leave in the rain, and mud, then the lightning hit it, and burned it, and the cat...

I make an H2O alternative with my armpits. I left you a ten-gallon sample in your car, as a going away gift.

You can’t take highways during the apocalypse, because they’ll be packed with panicky people.

Nilihisi ni mtu tu mwema amekuja kunisaidia … au mwizi wa gari. Hata hivyo, baadaye nilijua ni wewe na furaha yangu yote ilirudi.

I got some body work done. Both to my car, and to my clone. Now my car looks like a complete stranger, and I look like a Mercedes.

Imagine if all the car makers in the world were to sit down together to design one extremely simple, embellishment-free, functional car that was made from the most environmentally-sustainable materials, how cheap to buy and...

A road that’s narrower than the width of my car’s wheels could only be lover’s lane. Hitchhikers make the best lovers.

My cat stood still like a furry statue. I wanted to go pet it, but I ended up petting a painting instead. Ah, but that’s life, no?

Life punishes those who have things in abundance by making them worry about petty things like: what to wear, or, which car to drive.

The wisest thing my grandpa ever said to me before he died was “Stop!” Thinking back, I don’t know if he was talking to me or the car that ran him over. I prefer to...

Grandpa said I was speeding, but he drives as fast as a parked car, so anything that moves as fast as a statue is supersonic.