When you borrow a man’s car, always return it with a tank of gas.

I park my car in the parking spot right next to the parking spot my bed is in, just in case I have to pee quickly (at above 65 miles per hour).

I traded in my car with no gas in the tank and my new car came with a full tank. So I at least profited there. That makes me appreciate my depreciation more.

When the fuel is dried up in a vehicle, it stops driving automatically. You are a vehicle in the spiritual and the physical world, so you need some oil for alacrity, in order to get...

Cars are empowered by either petrol or diesel or gas. That is their fuel. I don’t care whether you want to pour pepper soup or orange juice into that car… It can’t work! You can’t...

Too bad my car key won’t start my house. And to answer your unasked question, no you can’t use my toaster like a dual vagina. At least not for the two-for-one price. That price only...

You are going to find that buying the car is much less satisfying than working for it.

I come to a red light, tempted to go through it, then stop once I see a billboard sign that I don’t remember seeing and I look up at it. All it says is ‘Disappear...

But I’m not talking about now. Last Tuesday I could have killed you. Had you in the scope of my rifle, but I let you live. Now THAT was stupid.

I can’t get car parts at Lowes, the home improvement store? If I lived in my car, my car would be my home.

I’ll be waiting in my trunk, with the engine of your car.

The best way to sell a car is to first try to sell them an airplane, then a horse, and then finally bring up the newest model automobile you have for sale.

Well, yeah. But not a lot more.

If I saw a hitchhiker wearing a tie-dyed shirt, I’d assume he’s been waiting for a ride since the 1960s. I think that kind of patience is groovy.

A vagina is not like a car door, no matter how hard you slam it. That’s why I prefer to drive Jeeps.

We sat in the car & the night droppeddown until the only sounds werethe crickets &the dance of our voices& for a momentthe world becamesmall enough toroll back & forth between us.

Your driver is on the steer, driving you and you can feel free to doze in the car; this is trust built on competence. Competence is to ensure that your actions put people’s hearts at...

I said I’d drive to her place. But she lives in her car, so I don’t see why she couldn’t just drive her place to my place.

I just got a new windshield. Slowly I’m going to replace my way to a new car. I make love the same way, methodically and over the course of several months.

This morning my car wouldn’t start. I guess that’s better than if my car wouldn’t stop. As a lover I’m a bring-my-own-bicycle kind of guy.

Well, good afternoon, sunshine. How are you feeling?””Like something the cat dragged in, then dragged back outside to leave in the rain, and mud, then the lightning hit it, and burned it, and the cat...

I make an H2O alternative with my armpits. I left you a ten-gallon sample in your car, as a going away gift.

You can’t take highways during the apocalypse, because they’ll be packed with panicky people.

Nilihisi ni mtu tu mwema amekuja kunisaidia … au mwizi wa gari. Hata hivyo, baadaye nilijua ni wewe na furaha yangu yote ilirudi.

I got some body work done. Both to my car, and to my clone. Now my car looks like a complete stranger, and I look like a Mercedes.

Imagine if all the car makers in the world were to sit down together to design one extremely simple, embellishment-free, functional car that was made from the most environmentally-sustainable materials, how cheap to buy and...

A road that’s narrower than the width of my car’s wheels could only be lover’s lane. Hitchhikers make the best lovers.

My cat stood still like a furry statue. I wanted to go pet it, but I ended up petting a painting instead. Ah, but that’s life, no?

Life punishes those who have things in abundance by making them worry about petty things like: what to wear, or, which car to drive.

The wisest thing my grandpa ever said to me before he died was “Stop!” Thinking back, I don’t know if he was talking to me or the car that ran him over. I prefer to...

Grandpa said I was speeding, but he drives as fast as a parked car, so anything that moves as fast as a statue is supersonic.

Binti yako mwenye umri wa miaka kumi na nne kwa mfano, anaomba umnunulie gari kama ulivyofanya kwa kaka yake mwenye umri wa miaka kumi na nane. Mara ya kwanza unamwambia utamnunulia atakapofikisha umri wa miaka...

My car rides smooth like I’m driving a cloud. If I park it at your house, I may get rainwater on your living room carpet.

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

I like cup holders—in cars, as well as in jockstraps. I would have played football, but the only helmet I had belonged to a bicycle that coach said was illegal on the field.

About 5,280 feet.” It was true. Ever since the car ran out of gas a mile back, and we were forced to walk, I’ve been thinking a lot about life, love, and how much I...

He continued to move forward, skirting a pocket of radiation that had not died in the four years since last he had come this way.They came upon a place where the sands were fused into...

I used to drive a parking lot, and I’d always park it directly under somebody’s car.

What I want more than a car that goes from Point A to Point B, is a car that stops. I make it a point to break for love. My horn is broke—and so am...

I love full on, like 65 mph in a handicapped parking spot.

I ran over some dog poop on my drive home last night. But I didn’t feel bad, because I didn’t vote for that particular politician.

pg. 231-232: They’d given me a minivan. They could have picked any car and they picked a minivan. A minivan. O God of the Vehicular Justice, why dost thou mock me? Minivan, you albatross around...

I got arrested for driving naked. I guess I shouldn’t have put four wheels, an engine, and a steering wheel on my bathtub. I’m a do-it-yourself kind of lover.

I had a dream about you. You were riding a walrus like a cowboy, and I was riding a cowboy like a cowboy. I waved at you, and you waved your lasso over your head....

My hands tightened on her, and I again tried to memorize every part of this moment. There was such perfection in the way our bodies were wrapped together. It didn’t seem possible that outside the...

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.

If someone drives you into the dirty gutter, it’s because you have given him your car key. Be careful of who leads you and to where and why… else, you will be taken away before...

A company with no advertising is like a car with no headlights—it runs smoothly during the day, when people are awake and shopping, and saves money at night, when people are asleep.

Nusu dakika baada ya kuondoa gari, Murphy aliona kiwiliwili cha mtu kikimwendea mbio kutokea katika nyumba ya magaidi! Hapohapo alisimamisha gari na kuacha taa zikiwaka, halafu akashika bunduki na kushuka – akiwa ameangalia mbele kwa...

Three o’clock in the morning.The highway is empty, under a malignant moon. The oil drippings make the roadway gleam like a blue-satin ribbon. The night is still but for a humming noise coming up somewhere...