When you borrow a man’s car, always return it with a tank of gas.

I heard my friend’s car wouldn’t start, so I mailed him a parking lot. I should be a politician.

I had a dream about you. We were almost omniscient, seeing all the problems in this world. We noticed the scratch on my bumper, the ding in my passenger-side door, and the bloodstains in the...

Well. I’ve got a car.”An hour later, I vowed I’d never make fun of that Mazda again.

want people to rock out in the car and not care that people are watching, I love that feeling when the sequences are all perfect and you can just press play. I want the music...

The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg my friends to treat me that well.

I believe men belong in the garage, because that’s where the dog food is stored. And the band is kept there. Auditions start after I move the car.

Lakini, akiendelea kuwaza na kuangaza, ghafla Murphy aliona kitu kama gari likiwa limesimama kwa mbali. Alisimama na kupata hamu ya kujua. Murphy alianza tena kutembea, lakini sasa akiifuata ile gari, halafu akaongeza mwendo na kukimbia;...

I unstrapped her bra like I’d unstrap a seat belt, and for the same reason—to live dangerously. And to exit the vehicle.

Barish ho gayi, meri Gari dhul gayi

I want to invent a portable sink. It won’t be small, but it will be the size and shape of a car. (Best not to park it in your kitchen).

Unfortunately, the Best Lord had condemned both vehicles as unsafe and instead I now leased a Pack Jeep I called Hector. Equipped with dual engines, Hector worked during magic or tech. He didn’t go very...

Starting the morning without prayer is like starting a car without gas.

Every wheel wish to be the wheel of a car, and not of just another vehicle.

Don’t allow your feelings to drive the car; you’re bound to get in an accident!(HS/el)

The passenger door was wide open, nobody was around, and a purse was inside. Was this a trap? It seemed too good to be true. Temptation overtook me, so I reached in the car, popped...

The ultimate concept car will move so fast, even at rest, as to be invisible.

There were a lot of one-hit wonders in the 90s. I was one of them, though mine was just a fender bender and I left before the cops showed up.

Mrs. Winalski owned a candy-apple-red 1965 Mustang GT convertible, and she drove it like she could die at any minute and needed to get five things done before that happened.

Going to bed at sunrise, I find a blindfold helps me sleep. Also, I like it when my kidnappers put pillows in the trunk.

The girl who did my oil change was so sexy that after she was done, I drove nonstop 2500 miles one way, just so I could immediately turn around and drive back with a reason...

Vehicular Darwinism based on survival of the quickest.

Rail longer than train cars ; and the hope than our reasons. (Rail plus long que les wagons ; – Et l’espoir que nos raisons.)

I left Mermaid’s Bar and Grill about 2:00 am, and fishtailed out of the parking lot.

My hands fell asleep, so I washed them with hot coffee. Then I had donuts for breakfast, by way of spinning circles in my car and burning rubber in the parking garage of my office...

In the first place, you can’t see anything from a car.

I had eggs for breakfast. I ate them off the hood of a politician’s car, after I threw them there.

You and I both know that love is for children,” he said. ”We’re adults. Compatibility is for adults.””Compatibility is for my Bluetooth and my car,” Teresa replied. ”Only they get along just fine, and my...

I want a one-bedroom house with cup holders. I want to live in my car, and make the road my home.

I had a dream I was in an old woman’s closet peeing on a giant shoe. Sorry grandma I thought it was the bathroom. I hate vacations where someone carries you out of the car...

In your life, always be like a driver who runs the car not just a car.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’d be up for hearing about the one-eyed chick,” Vida said with a shrug. “You are atually the worst person I have ever met,” Chubs said....

A Toyota is not a toy. At least not a sex toy. However, my driving is both erratic and erotic. Tickets are ten dollars per passenger. Senior citizen discounts not available.

I want a coffee machine that runs on gasoline and drives me to work. We can make love in the backseat, next to the cream and sugar.

Everybody in!” I said.Which was when we discovered the final problem.Little Echos aren’t designed to hold six, count them six, larger-than-average-sized children.And their wings.And a dog.”This is like a clown car,” Total grumbled front my...

I had a dream about you. You were washing your car, and I was washing my horse. You thought I belonged in the 19th century, and I thought you belonged in a zoo. I wasn’t...

It’s very ugly’ I said generously. ‘But it looks as though it would laugh at snow. And, if you hit a deer it would hiccup, and keep going.

If curiosity killed the cat, it was satisfaction that brought it back.

I always get whiplash when I have sex in the backseat. Boy, I sure wish Grandmother would learn how to drive.

When you are aligned with the truth of who you truly are, then you experience bliss.

Amelia, meet my Honeydew.

If you know the road is steepy with many potholes and curves ahead, you will be informed to drive the car at a required speed. Knowledge is a guide you need to make choices in...

She had originally agreed to appear naked, but on seeing the cars informed me that she would only appear topless—an interesting logic was at work there.

I park my car in the parking spot right next to the parking spot my bed is in, just in case I have to pee quickly (at above 65 miles per hour).

I traded in my car with no gas in the tank and my new car came with a full tank. So I at least profited there. That makes me appreciate my depreciation more.

When the fuel is dried up in a vehicle, it stops driving automatically. You are a vehicle in the spiritual and the physical world, so you need some oil for alacrity, in order to get...

Cars are empowered by either petrol or diesel or gas. That is their fuel. I don’t care whether you want to pour pepper soup or orange juice into that car… It can’t work! You can’t...

Too bad my car key won’t start my house. And to answer your unasked question, no you can’t use my toaster like a dual vagina. At least not for the two-for-one price. That price only...

You are going to find that buying the car is much less satisfying than working for it.

I come to a red light, tempted to go through it, then stop once I see a billboard sign that I don’t remember seeing and I look up at it. All it says is ‘Disappear...