In your life, always be like a driver who runs the car not just a car.

Well, good afternoon, sunshine. How are you feeling?””Like something the cat dragged in, then dragged back outside to leave in the rain, and mud, then the lightning hit it, and burned it, and the cat came back to tear it into pieces, before burying it.

Well, yeah. But not a lot more.

When the fuel is dried up in a vehicle, it stops driving automatically. You are a vehicle in the spiritual and the physical world, so you need some oil for alacrity, in order to get to your destination. The greater the quantity of your oil, the more you cover the distance, and the more you...

Barish ho gayi, meri Gari dhul gayi

Unfortunately, the Best Lord had condemned both vehicles as unsafe and instead I now leased a Pack Jeep I called Hector. Equipped with dual engines, Hector worked during magic or tech. He didn’t go very fast, especially during magic, but so far he hadn’t stalled on me either. As long as our high-speed chases stayed...

I had a dream about you. We were almost omniscient, seeing all the problems in this world. We noticed the scratch on my bumper, the ding in my passenger-side door, and the bloodstains in the trunk of my car. But we didn’t notice the biggest problem of all—our kidnap victim’s family had no money—and no...

I traded in my car with no gas in the tank and my new car came with a full tank. So I at least profited there. That makes me appreciate my depreciation more.

What I want more than a car that goes from Point A to Point B, is a car that stops. I make it a point to break for love. My horn is broke—and so am I, but I get paid Friday.

But I’m not talking about now. Last Tuesday I could have killed you. Had you in the scope of my rifle, but I let you live. Now THAT was stupid.

If you know the road is steepy with many potholes and curves ahead, you will be informed to drive the car at a required speed. Knowledge is a guide you need to make choices in life.

I used to drive a parking lot, and I’d always park it directly under somebody’s car.

If someone drives you into the dirty gutter, it’s because you have given him your car key. Be careful of who leads you and to where and why… else, you will be taken away before you become aware! Be awake!

Cars are empowered by either petrol or diesel or gas. That is their fuel. I don’t care whether you want to pour pepper soup or orange juice into that car… It can’t work! You can’t live without intrinsic and extrinsic motivations and move forward

The passenger door was wide open, nobody was around, and a purse was inside. Was this a trap? It seemed too good to be true. Temptation overtook me, so I reached in the car, popped the trunk, and closed myself in. Boy, the owner of the car was sure in for a surprise. And he...

I love full on, like 65 mph in a handicapped parking spot.

Nilihisi ni mtu tu mwema amekuja kunisaidia … au mwizi wa gari. Hata hivyo, baadaye nilijua ni wewe na furaha yangu yote ilirudi.

I’ll be waiting in my trunk, with the engine of your car.

In the first place, you can’t see anything from a car.

Everybody in!” I said.Which was when we discovered the final problem.Little Echos aren’t designed to hold six, count them six, larger-than-average-sized children.And their wings.And a dog.”This is like a clown car,” Total grumbled front my lap in the front seat.”Why does the dog get to sit in your lap?” Gazzy asked plaintively, as we rattled...

We sat in the car & the night droppeddown until the only sounds werethe crickets &the dance of our voices& for a momentthe world becamesmall enough toroll back & forth between us.

Well. I’ve got a car.”An hour later, I vowed I’d never make fun of that Mazda again.

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

I can’t get car parts at Lowes, the home improvement store? If I lived in my car, my car would be my home.

Too bad my car key won’t start my house. And to answer your unasked question, no you can’t use my toaster like a dual vagina. At least not for the two-for-one price. That price only applies on Tuesdays.

A vagina is not like a car door, no matter how hard you slam it. That’s why I prefer to drive Jeeps.

The girl who did my oil change was so sexy that after she was done, I drove nonstop 2500 miles one way, just so I could immediately turn around and drive back with a reason to see her again.

This morning my car wouldn’t start. I guess that’s better than if my car wouldn’t stop. As a lover I’m a bring-my-own-bicycle kind of guy.

I unstrapped her bra like I’d unstrap a seat belt, and for the same reason—to live dangerously. And to exit the vehicle.

I always get whiplash when I have sex in the backseat. Boy, I sure wish Grandmother would learn how to drive.

The best way to sell a car is to first try to sell them an airplane, then a horse, and then finally bring up the newest model automobile you have for sale.

I had eggs for breakfast. I ate them off the hood of a politician’s car, after I threw them there.

Your driver is on the steer, driving you and you can feel free to doze in the car; this is trust built on competence. Competence is to ensure that your actions put people’s hearts at ease when things are in your hands.

pg. 231-232: They’d given me a minivan. They could have picked any car and they picked a minivan. A minivan. O God of the Vehicular Justice, why dost thou mock me? Minivan, you albatross around my neck! You mark of Cain! You wretched beast high ceilings and few horsepower!

I want a one-bedroom house with cup holders. I want to live in my car, and make the road my home.

Going to bed at sunrise, I find a blindfold helps me sleep. Also, I like it when my kidnappers put pillows in the trunk.

I come to a red light, tempted to go through it, then stop once I see a billboard sign that I don’t remember seeing and I look up at it. All it says is ‘Disappear Here’ and even though it’s probably an ad for some resort, it still freaks me out a little and I...

I heard my friend’s car wouldn’t start, so I mailed him a parking lot. I should be a politician.

I just got a new windshield. Slowly I’m going to replace my way to a new car. I make love the same way, methodically and over the course of several months.

A road that’s narrower than the width of my car’s wheels could only be lover’s lane. Hitchhikers make the best lovers.

I got arrested for driving naked. I guess I shouldn’t have put four wheels, an engine, and a steering wheel on my bathtub. I’m a do-it-yourself kind of lover.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.

want people to rock out in the car and not care that people are watching, I love that feeling when the sequences are all perfect and you can just press play. I want the music to take you on a journey.

Starting the morning without prayer is like starting a car without gas.

It’s very ugly’ I said generously. ‘But it looks as though it would laugh at snow. And, if you hit a deer it would hiccup, and keep going.

Care to see your room?” -BonesLet me guess—it’s that smashed‐up car right over there.” -Cat

I believe men belong in the garage, because that’s where the dog food is stored. And the band is kept there. Auditions start after I move the car.

My hands fell asleep, so I washed them with hot coffee. Then I had donuts for breakfast, by way of spinning circles in my car and burning rubber in the parking garage of my office building.

Grandpa said I was speeding, but he drives as fast as a parked car, so anything that moves as fast as a statue is supersonic.

I had a dream about you. You were riding a walrus like a cowboy, and I was riding a cowboy like a cowboy. I waved at you, and you waved your lasso over your head. That’s how I got roped into buying a new car.