I almost get killed at most parties. Hence, you can tell that’s how much I love them.

Did you talk to him about it?””Oh, sure. Nothing happened, yadda yadda. The usual. But my maydar went off like crazy.””Maydar?””As in, he may be thinking about super hot sex with her. Like radar, only not as sure.

His smile was bright and sweet and hot enough to melt solid steel. “Is this the part where I kiss you?””If you like.””Oh,” he said, “I like.

Vampires can hear us, anyway.

Better be,” Eve said. She mock-bit at his finger. “I could totally date somebody else, you know.””And I could rent out your room.””And I could put your game console on eBay.””Hey,” Shane protested. “Now you’re just being mean.

Did he just say–?””Yes,” Claire said, smiling. “Yes, he did.””Whoa. Guess I’d better stay alive, then.

Anybody else think that was weird?’ Shane asked as they got into the car. Eve sent him an exasperated glance; the three of them were, of course, in the backseat. Amelie had the front, with Michael.’Ya think? In general, or in particular?”Weird that we got through the entire thing, and I didn’t have to hit...

This one is named Eve,” I said. “And don’t check my teeth like I’m your livestock. I bite back.

Shane? Thank God, somebody sane. Well, sane-ish.

Let’s say she’s a friend of the family.

You know what we call pedestrians in Morganville? Mobile bloodbanks.

Wake me for the massacre, okay? Don’t want to miss it.

You come back to us or I swear, I’ll find you, dig up your stinky corpse, and kick its ass until it freaking disintegrates.

It’s part of the marriage vows. Didn’t you read the fine print? To have and to harass.

He lives in a hole in the ground, dresses funny, and occasionally eats his assistants,” Eve said. “Define crazy.

I just—we were talking, and we fell asleep. I swear, we didn’t, um—’’‘‘Yeah, you’d better not have ummed.

Silence, and then Eve said, “Okay, that was extra creepy, with whipped creepy topping. And this is me, changing my mind.

Faster!” Shane yelled. Eve hit the gas hard, and whipped around a slower-moving van. The firing ceased, at least for now. “You see why I didn’t want you to stop?””Okay, your father is officially off my Christmas list!” Eve yelled. “Oh my God, look at my car!

I seriously am.

No, not you two. Stay here.”Does he just not get how unfair and sexist that is?’ Eve asked. ‘Men.”You really want to go first?”Of course no. But I’d like the chance to refuse to go first.

Welcome to Morganville.You’ll never want to leave.And even if you do…well, you can’t. Sorry about that.

See?” she heard Shane yell at the kitchen. “She doesn’t stomp around like a cattle stampede!””Bite me, Collins! No bacon for you, either!

Little bit,” she said.

I hardly think there’s any chance of that,” Amelie said. “I doubt you have the capacity.

I’ve got yours.

Now defend what is ours, my partner.”He grinned … grinned! … and whirled to meet Myrnin in midleap as Myrnin attacked.

I always thought he was sweet.

Oh, come on, just this once,” Eve said. “Protects your neck. As in your arteries and veins?That’s kind of crucial, right?””Thanks for the thought, but it doesn’t go with my shoes.””You’re seriously going to worry about what people think right now?””No, I’m worrying about people taking pictures and putting them on Facebook. That crap never...

I can handle Glory.” “Can you?” Eve asked. “Because I notice you never call her Gloriana. Just Glory.” He shut up. Which is probably about the only smart thing he can do, Claire thought.

I need to be a vampire,” she said. “and I want one of them to make it happen. Michael will do fine. I don’t care who turns me. The important thing is that if I change, I’ll be a princess.”I was wrong. She was really crazy.

Afternoons are hard. Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don’t do them anymore.

Now play nicely, make-believe dead girl

Am I not ninja enough? Are you saying that I lack ninja?

I’ll do it!””No, you won’t,” Shane and Michael said, at virtually the same time. Shane continued. “You’re barely on your feet, Claire. You don’t go anywhere, not without me.””And me,” Michael said.”Hell,” Eve sighed. “I guess that means I have to go, too. Which I may not ever forgive you for, even if I don’t...

If he had any kind of a clue, he wouldn’t be caught dead with that stuff. See what I did there? Caught dead? I crack myself up.” Eve sipped more coffee she probably, at this point, didn’t need.

I’ll add it to the five thousand you already owe me, though.”He blew her a kiss, and she stuck her tongue out at him, and that was the end of the subject, thankfully.

You’re seriously going to worry about what people think right now?””No, I’m worrying about people taking pictures and putting them on Facebook. That crap never dies. Kind of like you, Mikey.”Michael, straight-faced, said, “He’s got a point, because I would definitely take pictures. So would you.”Eve had to grin. “Yeah, I would. Okay, then. But...

Please. I am the queen of careful. Also, princess of punk fabulousness.

Hold on, Claire Bear! Next stop, Crazytown!

I’m worried he’s going to … do something crazy.” “He lives in a hole in the ground, dresses funny, and occasionally eats his assistants,” Eve said. “Define crazy.

Eve: She told me last!Shane: Boyfriend!Michael: Landlord!Eve: Crap. Right. Next time you sell your soul to the devil, I get first contact!

„What kind of stupid trip is this? So far, I’ve been assaulted, insulted, arrested, and now I’m tied to a chair by a bunch of vampires in case they crave a little O negative at lunch. And my boyfriend is out there somewhere, dodging sunbeams. This sucks!

Okay, no, I’m not, but right now let’s pretend I am.

See, I knew I could count on you for quality mayhem, my man.

Parents had some kind of sin radar, Claire thought. They always called when you were in the middle of something you just knew they’d consider wrong. Or at least risky.

Do you imagine that they’re going to issue me a citation…what was your name again?””Still Eve.””No, I’m sure it’s something else. That doesn’t seem right.

Moms like me.”He gave her a full-on Hollywood grin, and slipped out the door.

Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don’t do them anymore.” Eve

Because you’ve got guy parts, you’re automatically a better mechanic than me? I don’t think so,” Eve said, and bailed out of the passenger side.

You’re just Little Miss Optimist, aren’t you? Do you come with accessories, like a glass half full and lemons to make into lemonade, too?