Moms like me.”He gave her a full-on Hollywood grin, and slipped out the door.

The saga started out a normal day—don’t they all? I mean, surely one morning back there in prehistoric times a dinosaur woke up, yawned, chewed some coffee beans, and thought his day was going to...

See?” she heard Shane yell at the kitchen. “She doesn’t stomp around like a cattle stampede!””Bite me, Collins! No bacon for you, either!

Now play nicely, make-believe dead girl

You know what we call pedestrians in Morganville? Mobile bloodbanks.

Please. I am the queen of careful. Also, princess of punk fabulousness.

As she turned to concentrate on the portal, Eve tugged on Claire’s shirt. “What?””Ask him where he got the boots.””You ask.” Personally, Claire wanted the vampire bunny slippers.

I can handle Glory.” “Can you?” Eve asked. “Because I notice you never call her Gloriana. Just Glory.” He shut up. Which is probably about the only smart thing he can do, Claire thought.

I’ve got yours.

Bathroom, maybe? Which is where I need to go.””Ooh, me, too,” Eve said. The boys rolled their eyes, like they’d planned it. “What? It’s what girls do. Get over it.

Afternoons are hard. Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don’t do them anymore.

You’re seriously going to worry about what people think right now?””No, I’m worrying about people taking pictures and putting them on Facebook. That crap never dies. Kind of like you, Mikey.”Michael, straight-faced, said, “He’s got...

Do you imagine that they’re going to issue me a citation…what was your name again?””Still Eve.””No, I’m sure it’s something else. That doesn’t seem right.

I seriously am.

Just wanted to remind you that we’re out of milk again. And hot sauce.””Why are those two always out at the same time? Because those do not go together.””I suspect Shane. He’d put hot sauce...

I think I’d fall for you no matter what, Claire. You’re kind of awesome.

Oh, come on, just this once,” Eve said. “Protects your neck. As in your arteries and veins?That’s kind of crucial, right?””Thanks for the thought, but it doesn’t go with my shoes.””You’re seriously going to worry...

I need to be a vampire,” she said. “and I want one of them to make it happen. Michael will do fine. I don’t care who turns me. The important thing is that if I...

I’ll add it to the five thousand you already owe me, though.”He blew her a kiss, and she stuck her tongue out at him, and that was the end of the subject, thankfully.

Wake me for the massacre, okay? Don’t want to miss it.

When I want to be lectured on strategy, I’ll consult someone who’s actually won battles,’ Amelie said. ‘Not one who ran away from them.”Snap,’ Eve said.’You know what they’re talking about?’ Shane asked.’Don’t need to...

This one is named Eve,” I said. “And don’t check my teeth like I’m your livestock. I bite back.

Kind of is, actually.

Shane? Thank God, somebody sane. Well, sane-ish.

His smile was bright and sweet and hot enough to melt solid steel. “Is this the part where I kiss you?””If you like.””Oh,” he said, “I like.

Mirnin: Where’s Shreve?

See, I knew I could count on you for quality mayhem, my man.

I’ll do it!””No, you won’t,” Shane and Michael said, at virtually the same time. Shane continued. “You’re barely on your feet, Claire. You don’t go anywhere, not without me.””And me,” Michael said.”Hell,” Eve sighed. “I...

You looked like the sexiest woman in the world.””Well, in fairness, I am the sexiest woman in the world.””And you’re always right.””You are so brilliant to recognize that.

I think it’s interesting.

I just—we were talking, and we fell asleep. I swear, we didn’t, um—’’‘‘Yeah, you’d better not have ummed.

You’re just Little Miss Optimist, aren’t you? Do you come with accessories, like a glass half full and lemons to make into lemonade, too?

If he had any kind of a clue, he wouldn’t be caught dead with that stuff. See what I did there? Caught dead? I crack myself up.” Eve sipped more coffee she probably, at this...

Take the back door,” she said. “Claire, you and your strang friend-“”Eve,” they both said simultaneously, and Eve held out her fst for a bump. “Or, you could call me Eve the Great, Mistress of...

Am I not ninja enough? Are you saying that I lack ninja?

I almost get killed at most parties. Hence, you can tell that’s how much I love them.

Okay, no, I’m not, but right now let’s pretend I am.

What was your name again?””Still Eve.””No, I’m sure it’s something else. That doesn’t seem right.

Because you’ve got guy parts, you’re automatically a better mechanic than me? I don’t think so,” Eve said, and bailed out of the passenger side.

He lives in a hole in the ground, dresses funny, and occasionally eats his assistants,” Eve said. “Define crazy.

Parents had some kind of sin radar, Claire thought. They always called when you were in the middle of something you just knew they’d consider wrong. Or at least risky.

Faster!” Shane yelled. Eve hit the gas hard, and whipped around a slower-moving van. The firing ceased, at least for now. “You see why I didn’t want you to stop?””Okay, your father is officially off...

It’s part of the marriage vows. Didn’t you read the fine print? To have and to harass.

Let’s say she’s a friend of the family.

You look like a Goth factory exploded all over you!” he called as she ran down the hall.”Love you, too, jackass!

Better be,” Eve said. She mock-bit at his finger. “I could totally date somebody else, you know.””And I could rent out your room.””And I could put your game console on eBay.””Hey,” Shane protested. “Now you’re...

„…And he doesn’t like you to call him Mr. McStabby, you know.””Have you ever seen him cutting up that meat? He is like an artist with slicing. And that knife is as long as my...

And about Shane, I swear, if he doesn’t snap out of it, I’m going to punch him in the face. Well, punch him in the face and then run like hell.” – Eve Rosser

Anybody else think that was weird?’ Shane asked as they got into the car. Eve sent him an exasperated glance; the three of them were, of course, in the backseat. Amelie had the front, with...

You come back to us or I swear, I’ll find you, dig up your stinky corpse, and kick its ass until it freaking disintegrates.