Some people would say it’s a bad idea to bring a fire-spider into a public library. Those people would probably be right, but it was better than leaving him alone in the house for nine...

I took a nap and used a napkin as a blanket. Obviously it was a small nap.

I hear Mr. Palmer tell Hannah that it was an electrical fault. Five arsonists in one school and it ends up being something so technically boring.

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.

Come Hell or High Water” usually depends on the kind of plug you use in the bath tub

A blanket could be used to travel to exotic places. Just close your eyes and see for yourself.

Nix had told Emma before she’d left for Europe that on this trip she would ‘do that which you were born to do.’ Apparently, Emma was born to get kidnapped by a deranged Lykae. Her...

A blanket could be used to show love, by providing warmth, comfort, and an itchiness of desire that cannot be satisfied by a single scratch.

And sometimes when I’m feeling really evil, I read books or paint.

I rarely drink, but last night, after several hours and several beers at the bar, I found myself face to face with two huge boobs. They weren’t the breasts of a young woman, but those...

Wisdom of the Ages: “Unsuccessful pick-up lines” ‘My parole ends today, let’s celebrate!

A classroom . People trying to stick me in classrooms was becoming as predictable and annoying as people trying to kill me, but with less-fun results.

[Kagura is doing laundry and tries to wring out Kyou’s shirt causing it to rip in two ]Kyo Sohma: Tell me what I think just happened didn’t just happen Kagura: My love !Kyo Sohma: My...

It was a full Spears album, apparently, and each song was as ridiculous as the one before. They were catchy, yes, but so was the plague.

What happened?” he asked brusquely, interrupting me. “What do you mean, what happened?””I sensed your fear, heard you call out my name.””I…no, I didn’t.” Stone Wall, I told myself. Great Wall of China, around my...

A brick could be used to represent the state of Kansas. Both are flat, both are rectangular, both have tried to insert themselves up my anus, and both failed to penetrate me (though Kansas got...

What was that you gave me to eat?” Winter panicked.A Filler Crisp,” Clover said, his eyes seventy percent concerned and thirty percent mischievous.

The cloud cover made for a terrible blanket.

Man, Grandma, what big hair you have.””The better to style with, my dear.

A brick could be used as a stand in for a liar’s face. Go on, punch that liar in his face.

A brick could be duct taped in front of your eyes, like a blindfold, so you can have that feeling of hitting your head against a brick wall all the time.

Do you think the Goblin King really did it?” asked Cordelia hesitantly. All the sheep knew she was talking about George’s death. Mopple quickly pulled up a tuft of grass.”Or Satan?” added Lane.”Nonsense,” Rameses snorted...

A brick has eight edges and six sides. That’s nearly as many sides as a politician takes when discussing a binary issue.

There had to be a circle of Hell where you were eternally fourteen, eternally in junior high. One of the lower circles.

Brick could be the codename for Rick B. But why the need for secrecy? If I told you I’d have to blanket you.

I started down but Sam caught my arm and knelt down himself to look. “For crying out loud,” he said. “It’s a racoon.” “Poor thing,” I said. “It could be a rabid baby-killer,” Cole told...

You may be temporarily young, but you’ll forever be childish.” Then I put gum in her hair.

I’ve got a Don Baylor,” J.T. said.”California sucks this year.”Ralph snickered. “I wouldn’t use a Baylor card to scrape dog shit off the street.

Rip as we know is vastly experienced and funnier than I think anyone knew. The show really reveals him to be a brilliant comedic actor.

Katie purred in pleasure as she licked the beating vein in Jared’s neck.

Jehovah’s Witness? Don’t sweat it. I’m going to hell, already booked my ticket. Bright side? I’m pagan. Your hell is my heaven… if for no other reason than you won’t be there.

You thought I didn’t notice the way you two looked at each other? I may be old but I’m not blind. I remember thatfeeling. The spark, the electricity… ”I had to interject before I got...

Shamu and I have arrived safely in Costa Rica. He was stopped by airport security because he carries enough artillery in his pants pockets to construct a sawed-off shotgun. Evidently, he thought we were headed...

Then again, if your right hand did know what your left hand was doing, wouldn’t that be kind of creepy?

I’ve changed my mind, Tory. This is the perfect place to hold someone prisoner. I’m keeping this on file.

Oh! That was poetry!” said Pippin. “Do you really mean to start before the break of day?

President wants coup in some place called ‘Canada’ someone find a map

I love Richard Pryor. I love him to death.

She asked me if I had a light. I asked her if she was a wizard. She said no, so I felt safe in pulling out my pocket dragon.

She needed Andrew Simpson Smith, it was that simple. And he had spent his life training to help people like her. Gods. “Okay, Andrew. But let’s leave today. I’m in a hurry.””Of course. Today.” He...

Cat’s friends seemed like very sweet girls,” Dad says.”They were the bomb,” I say fervently, and he looks back at me with raised eyebrows.”‘The bomb’ is a good thing? Like ‘sick’?”Duh,” I reply, and Dad...

She was washing all the dishes by hand, so I bought her a machine. I bought her a lawnmower. That’s what you do when you’re in love.

I’m not going to touch her,” he said “She’s not mine.She never will be.””Indeed.” Bruiser rolled his eyes and dusted off his hat. “Definitely no years of pent-up lusting there. Glad we have that sorted.

I’d much rather a monkey throws a blanket instead of a brick.

I removed all the doors to our love, so you can’t lock yourself away from me. But I didn’t stop there. I also replaced the doors with metal detectors, so I could fondle you more...

Life is a zoo in a jungle.

Whenever I’m running an hour late for for work, it always makes me feel better when I can leave an hour early at the end of the day to make up for it.

I introduced myself as the man who’d introduce her to her future husband. Then I called over my clone, knowing full well that after they’d fallen in love and gotten engaged, I was going to...

Adrian, I’m on a date. Why are you here? On my car?

This is an Aston Martin, Gin.You don’t run over dead bodies in an Aston Matin.””Tell that to James Bond