What is it, you ask?” Kali said, trying to cover her surprise with nonchalant words. “I haven’t thought of a name yet. Got any ideas?””Shit,” the pirate said, said of. The gag made elocution difficult.”That...

A blanket could be used like a trumpet could be used as a murder weapon. And if the cops ask you what I was doing on the night of June 6th, tell them I was...

Yeah? Did you see what I did with my keys? ”Silence. Then dial tone.These younger demons. So easily discouraged.

A blanket could be shared with someone cold. And if you’re sharing your blanket, they might as well share the blame in getting pregnant. It’s not like they can blame me, because I was in...

Hayden?””Yes,Gia?””Nothing I just wanted to say your name

A blanket could be used to spread the love around. Tuck it in at the edges, so nobody can hog all the amor.

Life is a very brief candle especially when you burn it at both ends

A blanket can be a meditation device. If the blanket is white, and you stare at it, you can blank out your mind and find peace within yourself.

I had a scimitar at my throat. I’d like to see you try signaling under those conditions.”-Janco and Ari bickering

If I hung out with Van Gogh, I don’t know what we’d do. We’d just play it by ear, I guess.

Isobel moved farther into the kitchen, not knowing whether to be relieved that her mother hadn’t had an atomic meltdown, or mortified that she’d taken it upon herself to play head chef with the nearest...

I always wear gloves, so at any moment I could commit a crime and not be worried about fingerprints. Plus, it saves on buying hand sanitizer.

I can be a gentleman off and on. When the urge hits me. – Tran

A brick could be used for bric-a-brac. If you bring the brick, I’ll bring the brac.

Should I have brought my diploma?

A brick could be used to help America make money. Trust me, this is smarter than letting a central bank like the Federal Reserve make all the money.

When I was growing up we didn’t have a massive house and there were five women running around, so my dad and I had to stick together!

A brick could be used to save humanity from mortality. Or at least save us from mortar.

It’s delicious,’ he announces, chewing my sandwich. ‘I would like to stay here forever and die with you in my arms.’ ‘I don’t know. I think it’s too cold for forever,’ I say, smiling.

A brick could be used to represent society as a whole. But to represent society as a half, I’d recommend using either a full carton of half and half, or a half-full carton of whole...

Raffin appeared again, a floor above her, on the balconied passageway that ran past his workrooms. He leaned over the railing and called down to her. “Kat!””What is it?””You look lost . Have you forgotten...

A brick could be used as a scapegoat. But don’t blame the brick. The brick didn’t kill my mother-in-law. It was merely the instrument I utilized in showing her how much I loved her.

No, little one, George’s ghost won’t come back. Human beings don’t have souls. No soul, no ghost. Simple.””How can you say that?” protested Mopple. “We don’t know whether humans have souls or not.””Every lamb knows...

A brick could be used as toilet paper—especially if you just shit a brick. You could shit and wipe your way to a wall of privacy.

We can’t against human stupidity. Because they are too many and too dangerous.

You can’t kill us all, human.’ He was right. I raised the machine gun a little. ‘True, but who’s going to be first in line?

Shit a brick.”

Mr. Acme comments that the new foodservice professionals in the cafeteria are two-headed carnival escapees and probably also wanted convicts. He expresses his deep conviction that the names they gave him are aliases and promises...

Are there any other missing persons living under your roof? Elvis? Jimmy Hoffa? Amelia Earhart? I’d just like full disclosure now, before we go any further.

Shut up,” I said.

And you don’t ever have to worry about what I feel. The way I feel about you won’t change. You can do whatever you like to me. You could turn this town to dust, burn...

Then I say, “Let’s go and brush our teeth.” So Lola says, “But Charlie, I can’t brush my teeth because somebody is using my tooth.” “But who would use your toothbrush?” I ask. Lola says...

Maggie wasn’t without her concerns, though. “What if he’s crazy?””Yeah, that’s a definite possibility,” he agreed.”What if he’s not your type?””Then we’ll only hook up in dark places.

Sometimes when jerks become Christians, it’s like a bully learning karate. Instead of having Christ transform our hearts and attitudes, we now have a new method with which to beat you up….what was once just...

I told the Inland Revenue I didn’t owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside.

my problem is that my body acts before my brain thinks… it sometimes brings me huge trouble, or also huge success. recently, my body and brain got come to an agreement. it may be far...

As Confucius once said, “He who does nothing is the one who does nothing.”‘Gabby pondered the words, the furrowed her brow. ‘did Confucius really say that?’Sunglasses in place, Stephanie managed the tiniest of shrugs. ‘No,...

Everything has taken on a strange, distant quality – the sounds of running and shouting outside get warped and weird like they’re being filtered through water, and Alex looks miles away. I start to think...

This kind of mixing of ingredients happens all the time at fast-food places… You know when you order french fries and there’s a rogue onion ring at the bottom. You know, at first you’re alarmed...

What’s that?” he asked, when I stood beside him again.”Halos,” I said with a grin. “For heavenly creatures like us.””That might be a stretch.

You blew up half the town.

I toss and turn so much in my sleep that the very act of sleeping must be exhausting for me. Sleeping makes me want to sleep even more.

The lot of the brideto be wed before beddesired until rotten.The lot of the authorto be read before bedadmired then forgotten.

I watch old school film so that I can learn so much that I just sort of miss all the new stuff.

You tell me you love me, but I’m not sure you know what love is, or how fast it flies, or how much it resembles a UFO, or what kind of weapon you’d use to...

A rich man’s joke is always funny

If heaven was created only for the most stupid clown, then Mr Bean could have been the only righteous man on earth.

I believe the love shared between two people shouldn’t be secretly shared with a third. Not even if I am vacationing on the moon, and that third person is my clone.

Two seconds later, the sound of an alarm filled my ears. ”What did you do?” I said over the noise as he backed up towards the bathroom door. ”The girl who gave you the note?””Yes…””I...

The man you’re going to marry should be like a brick: strong, sturdy, supportive and almost always hard in your presence.