A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

I think we carry around the idea of being a Kid in the Hall as part of our identity. It’s a big part of how we see ourselves now.

I mean if there was any justice in the world you wouldn’t even have to go to school during your period. You’d just stay home for five days and eat chocolate and cry.

The real F-word is ‘future.

His fingers lightly grazed my cheek. “I didn’t know you before. When you’re not there, I can’t concentrate. I’m wondering where you are, what you’re doing…if you’re there and I can see you, I can...

The seer crow was outraged. “Mangiz does not forget an insult, hedgepig.”Ambrose smiled cheekily. “Good, then here’s a few more for you to remember, you pot-bellied, cross-eyed, feather-bottomed excuse for a duck.

Secret 48617.0. If you’re TDY in Ottawa, the only thing worse than CSIS giving you a bad time is CSIS attempting to show you a good one.

When you’re writing what you love, it’s the most fun you can have with your clothing still on, unless of course, you write naked.

Slap-stick comedy is really funny, unless you’re the one getting slapped with the stick.

I saw you put rice in a toaster once,” said Mae. “I was there when made the tin of beans explode.””It was faulty,” Jamie protested, his eyes shifty. ” I am sure of this.

Liebe auf den ersten Blick existierte. Vielleicht nicht unbedingt zwischen Männern und Frauen. Aber definitiv zwischen Frauen und ganz bestimmten Klamotten. Ich sah es auf den ersten Blick – dieses Kleid und ich, wir waren...

I decided to do the easy task of changing situations and conditions by being a hero, than staying back to do the difficult task of changing people by being just a man.

It’s sometimes funny to watch some people doing something the wrong way but doing it confidently. Even more funny, they succeeded.

Forget plastic surgery. Enhance your beauty by getting those around you drunk.

Expired condoms are like nuclear waste: there’s nothing sensible you can do with it.

I lost my virginity in the back seat of a Buick. Not because I’m a romantic, but because my grandpa and grandma were in the front seats.

I don’t mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that’s how it comes out.

Did you see that dress?” “I saw the dress.” “Did you like it?” He didn’t answer. I took that as a yes. “Am I going to endanger my reputation if I wear it to the...

She hated Mr. Meanie. But she’d gotten to know him and they’d reached an understanding of sorts. Now she was to have him for supper.”Don’t tell me you’re feeling guilty?”Breaking off a piece of the...

I thought I’d lie on the floor and writhe in pain for a while,” he grunted, “It relaxes me.””It does? Oh – you’re being sarcastic. That’s a good sign probably.

I got food poisoning today. I don’t know when I’ll use it.

Kennedy hisses.”And you have the chest of one.

Keep up,” said an irritable voice in her ear. It was Jace, who had dropped back to walk beside her. “I don’t want to have to keep looking behind me to make sure nothing’s happened...

Is he about to kiss me? Did he eat garlic too or was I the only one? ‘Cause if Ric didn’t eat garlic then my breath’s gonna stink and he’ll think… Oh for fuck sake,...

Underwater nobody can dance. Let this be a lesson in basket weaving. And love.

Inconvenience in progress, work is regretted.

There’s always time for arguin’ when you’re a Fuentes.

We were just kids, what did we know about love? I knew I loved her, and she knew she didn’t love me. Turns out we were both wrong.

We are all regular people, Pia,’ she laughs. ‘But we are notregular wives.

My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.

When one is two, it is love, and one plus one equals three.

I also think if you’re an actor and you can improvise, when you go on an audition and you can improvise you’re just a genius. If you can, you know, take a Tide commercial and...

From: Beth Fremont To: Jennifer Scribner-Snyder Sent: Thurs, 09/30/1999 3:42 PM Subject: If you were Superman … … and you could choose any alter ego you wanted, why the hell would you choose to spend...

Don’t be so humble – you are not that great.

The intersection of pork and man was circumscribed with vagueness. Until now sausage was a mysterious world: the fenced-in landscapes of strange, exotic muds, the cloak-and-dagger butchers that veiled their conversations in Old French, the...

I have never wanted to punch a highway in the face as badly as I do right now.

Do Not Eat.” Since I don’t feel like cooking or making love, I’ll probably have it for dinner tonight.

Log Entry: SOL 118My conversation with NASA about the Water Reclaimer was boring and riddled with technical details. So I’ll paraphrase for you:Me: “This is obviously a clog. How about I take it apart and...

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Rhiannon’s Law #16: If it looks like a rabbit, and it hops like a rabbit, run the other way and fast. That shit is liable to tear you arm off.

You don’t appreciate a faithful husband when you’ve got one,’ said Tommy.’All my friends tell me you never know with husbands,’ said Tuppance.’You have the wrong kind of friends,’ said Tommy.

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.

They sent the shrink round yesterday. He’s put me on Prozac. Prozac! He thinks I’m depressed.”Aren’t you depressed?”I wasn’t depressed.”You did try to kill yourself,’ I pointed out.’Yes. That’s what he said too. Apparently that’s...

In my opinion, all boyfriends should turn out to be secretly wealthy.

Do you ride?”She smiled, her fingers lightly sliding around his ear. “Not since I hit that barn”Zach’s hands paused on her flesh. “You hit a barn?” “I had to avoid the cow

I threatened to kung fu you. Oh my God.

…that was before I’d started thinking about how life stuck on a ship wouldn’t be so bad if Elder walked around pantless more.

Somebody dies and people eat your food. Funny how that works.

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.

Hey, Geekoid!” yelled Duncan Dougal, “Why do you read so much? Don’t you know how to watch TV?