All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.
The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.
If my films don’t show a profit, I know I’m doing something right.
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
I love nature, I just don’t want to get any of it on me.
I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it’s the government.
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
In California, they don’t throw their garbage away – they make it into TV shows.
I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
Most of the time I don’t have much fun. The rest of the time I don’t have any fun at all.
I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering – and it’s all over much too soon.
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